
Quotes from my recent xTED talk


Well, that’s weird, “Bob”… Something weird didn’t happen yesterday….
Greatest video ever: mashup of Leonard Nimoy’s infamous “Bilbo Baggins” video with hardcore legends Bad Brains’ awesome song “Pay To Cum”. Grok this:
[youtube]rqQtoMyi2xQ[/youtube]Farewell, Robert Anton Wilson. You were there when we needed you, and left behind an arsenal of hilarious and unsettling tools with which to battle the enemies of free thought. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Hail Eris; all hail Discordia. Praise Dobbs. Ramen.
Probably the weirdest, coolest thing ever posted on YouTube: Album Cover War
The Yes Men, a group of painfully satirical culture jamming pranksters, have done it again: they duped organizers of the Gulf Coast Reconstruction and Hurricane Preparedness Summit into thinking that Andy Bichlbaum was Rene Oswin, an official stand-in for Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Secretary Alphonso Jackson, announcing that HUD was not going to tear down 5,000 units of affordable public housing (projects) in New Orleans …a blatant lie meant to bring attention to the fact that HUD was actually planning on doing the exact opposite, even with people clamoring to return to some semblance of normal home life.
William Loiry, president of meeting sponsor Equity International, said he was duped.
“We were contacted about a week ago or so by someone who we believed to be [public relations firm] Hill & Knowlton [saying] that they were representing the HUD secretary and that he wanted to make a major announcement at this summit.”
Loiry said he was told a few minutes before he had planned to introduce Jackson that the secretary would be replaced by Oswin.
Video here; CNN article here.
And to explain, from The Yes Men‘s website:
Identity theft: Small-time criminals impersonate honest people in order to steal their money. Targets are ordinary folks whose ID numbers fell into the wrong hands.
Identity correction: Honest people impersonate big-time criminals in order to publicly humiliate them. Targets are leaders and big corporations who put profits ahead of everything else.
The Yes Men have impersonated some of the world’s most powerful criminals at conferences, on the web, and on television, in order to correct their identities. They currently have hundreds of thousands of job openings. Sign up today!
See also:
Situationist International (you must absorb this information to fully understand culture jamming!)
The Yes Men movie
The End is nigh! Nigh, i tell you!!
(Not really. It’s just a great blog about the End of Times.)
Hilarious Huffington Post piece: what Republicans see when they look at the NY Times
This is who you really really are, America.
Top 10 places to find royalty free, public domain, stock photos
Stephen Hawking in the news: “It is important for the human race to spread out into space for the survival of the species… Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of.” – He’s also working on a children’s book a la Harry Potter, sans magic. Dude!
Footage of meteoroid hitting the moon.
Court orders Bob Taft (Governor- OH) to disclose potentially scandalous records. Corrupt Bob must give up. What a loser.
Aussie lyrebird is like a freaking dictaphone of nature! I’ve heard wild stories about this bird, but hear it imitate – perfectly! – a buzzing chainsaw, and two different camera shutters!
After the Rodney King riots in South Central, the city gave residents a plot of land in good faith. How nice! They’ve since turned it into the largest urban farm in America! Unfortunately, it is at this very moment under corporate and police attack. It seems the land was dubiously sold out from under The People to developers. Shame, shame, shame! This is outrageous, and reeks of the kind of “indian-giving” that white people are most famous for.
Don’t even try to cancel AOL. They’ll just give you the runaround and, erm, ask for your father. WTF.
Sexy ro-bots having sexy sex.
An even weirder video: “dancing” Japanese girls teaching defensive English. I guess. Don’t make fun of them.
EFF‘s The Corruptibles!
You don’t want to miss Jon Stewart skewering conservative Bill Bennett over gay marriage. Way to go, Jon!
Stewart: So why not encourage gay people to join in in that family arrangement if that is what provides stability to a society?
Bennett: Well I think if gay people are already members of families—
Stewart: What?!
Bennett: They’re sons and they’re daughters—
Stewart: So that’s where the buck stops. That’s the gay ceiling.
Bennett: Look, it’s a debate about whether you think marriage is between a man and a woman.
Stewart: I disagree. I think it’s a debate about whether you think gay people are part of the human condition or just a random fetish.
Andrew Shimery-Wolf of “McDonald’s Interactive” gave a bizarre presentation at the UK Serious Games summit, where game developers meet to discuss games made for corporate and educational use. The presentation focused on the potentially devastating climate changes brought about by shady corporate practices.
According to Shimery-Wolf, the group had created McMarketplace, a simulation of the global effects of the burger business. It worked well for training, but in long-term predictions, business ended in 2050, when everyone died due to climate change and dead earth. (source)
They also announced that McDonald’s Interactive was splitting off from the McDonald’s parent company.
“We can no longer stand by while McDonald’s corporate policies help lead the planet to ruin,” said Shimery-Wolf, co-director of the “Interactive Division”, which supposedly was founded to help strategize business for future markets.
Nobody seems to know who this group really is, or whether or not the organizers of the conference knew what was going to happen, although it’s a safe bet that they didn’t. The group’s domain’s WHOIS resolves to an Italian registrar and the registrant is obviously a fake, with a contact email at mcvideogame.com, a spoof videogame created by political subversives Molleindustria to blast McDonald’s.
Apparently, RTMARK also has something to do with this mysterious and hilarious jake, as a response to a press inquiry was sent from an rtmark.com e-mail address. It seems highly likely, to me at least, that Molleindustria and RTMARK collaborated on this joint venture.
Check out the PowerPoint presentation itself, and watch as this hilarious story develops. For more info, see:
Three Legged Legs – “Humans!”
A hilarious and depressing short animation about the scourge upon Earth that is humanity.
YouTube: 10 Things I Hate About Commandments
Most hilarious mashup i’ve seen in hours!
Video: I love this terrific, mind-bending sci-fi short story. I mean, really love it. It’s one of the reasons why i’m proud to be alive on this planet Earth and why i’m so lucky to be around at this time in history. Now, there’s a short film: Terry Bisson’s “They’re Made Out of Meat”
Video: Star Wars/Lord of the Rings mashup: Starlords
Etc.: Jane Siberry‘s got it right! This is how the music business should work… and the best part about it is that her business model actually does.
New SubGenius book in the works. It’s about damn time. Praise Dobbs!
Stephen Colbert is a shining beacon for all of Republica!
“I’ve never been a fan of books. I don’t trust them. They’re all fact, no heart. I mean, they’re elitist, telling us what is or isn’t true; what did or didn’t happen. What’s Britannica to tell me the Panama Canal was built in 1914? If I want to say it was built in 1941, that’s my right as an American. I’m with the president: let history decide what did or did not happen. The greatest thing about this man is he’s steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man’s beliefs never will.”
George W. Bush has abused over 750 laws? I knew he was a dangerous lunatic, and a criminal, but i didn’t know he was quite that arrogant. Talk about abuse of power!
Woman, 56 and wheelchair-bound, killed by Taser. Taser use is quickly getting out of control. When i lived in Jacksonville, Florida, it was practically a death sentence to be mentally impaired and have a bad day. I remember several incidents where citizens would have a bit of a public freak-out and wind up in the morgue. Then, it was a case of the police using unsafe choke holds. Now, they’re using the magic of electricity to subdue. I think it’s just a little too easy. I mean, i don’t like guns one bit, but this allegedly non-violent solution is unfortunately a heavy factor in many unnecessary deaths. From a related article:
And even though Scottsdale, Arizona-based Taser, Inc–the company that created it–said it should never be used on children or the elderly, Florida leads the nation in deaths by Taser. The oldest victim to date? Ninety-five. The youngest? A 6-year old boy.
Googlemap of historic nuclear accidents. Spooky, and makes you rethink how safe nuclear energy is.
ACLU releases its FOIA-enabled report on prisoner abuse.
Boing Boing has a great roundup of Immigrants’ Rights rallies for May 1.
Neil Young‘s new Living With War album now streaming. It’s a fuckin’ scorcher of a rock record!
Weird Video: “Stop the Madness,” the only White House-sponsored rock video ever made. Antidrug. Very, very bizarre. I’m telling you, i actually took drugs just so i could stop this madness. [disclaimer: i do not use any drugs besides nicotine these days.] Although this video probably aired less than 20 times nationwide, it was probably actually really, really cool… for a negative amount of time. Seeing such sights as Nancy Reagan lip-synching the words, and a living, talking threatening David Hasselhoff poster, however, may make you feel like you really are on drugs.
Weird Video: C for Cookie, a V for Vendetta spoof. Awesome!
Weird Video: New Logitech Orbit webcam. Awesome!