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local

“librals are re tarted”

knowledgefail
knowledgefail

Here’s a recent discussion i had, or am having, over on Facebook. The gentleman in question apparently lives in my hometown, and (according to his FB profile anyway) graduated from the same school in the same year as me. I don’t remember him, but that’s probably because he was clearly still learning to use the slime he oozes to get around on his own. I’m guessing he was actually home schooled, because even my shitty cow pie-encrusted school would have had a hard time letting this horrifying intellectual vacuum graduate.

Click on the image to get a full-size view. Hopefully this business continues and i’ll be able to add more!

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uncategorized

“librals are re tarted”

Originally published at jeremyjarratt.com. You can comment here or there.

knowledgefail

knowledgefail

Here’s a recent discussion i had, or am having, over on Facebook. The gentleman in question apparently lives in my hometown, and (according to his FB profile anyway) graduated from the same school in the same year as me. I don’t remember him, but that’s probably because he was clearly still learning to use the slime he oozes to get around on his own. I’m guessing he was actually home schooled, because even my shitty cow pie-encrusted school would have had a hard time letting this horrifying intellectual vacuum graduate.

Click on the image to get a full-size view. Hopefully this business continues and i’ll be able to add more!

Categories
current events

Sarah Palin is still an idiot

Even on FOXNews, they’re bashing that poor moron. She doesn’t even understand the concept of Africa being a continent and not a country? Wow. That’s really something.

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uncategorized

Sarah Palin is still an idiot

Originally published at jeremyjarratt.com. You can comment here or there.

Even on FOXNews, they’re bashing that poor moron. She doesn’t even understand the concept of Africa being a continent and not a country? Wow. That’s really something.

Categories
current events uncategorized

Nucular Maverick comin’ atcha, gosh darn it!

(I posted this as a response to some angry and unpleasant conservative’s blog post comment, and figured if i was going to do any research at all, i may as well reap the benefit of publishing it here as well, since that person might not be able to read very well anyway.)

McCain is 72 and has had melanoma. That means skin cancer. The average life expectancy in the U.S. is currently about 75 years for males. And he was a smoker for many years of his life, quitting in 1980 when he was about 44.

You do the math.

If McCain’s elected, we MAY very well wind up with a backstabbing moron who thinks dinosaurs and humans coexisted a mere few thousand years ago, speaks in tongues, believes in witches, can’t pronounce the name of the thousands of planet-killing warheads she’s going to have her hands all over, and thinks that the END of the fucking WORLD is a GOOD thing(?!!).*

But she winks and says something folksy (meaning, retarded and hillbilly) and mindless Republicans all over the country swoon.

It never fails to shock me how brutally ignorant conservatives are.

 

*in my book, anyone who WANTS the world to end is on the side of evil. Like Doctor Doom evil.

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uncategorized

Nucular Maverick comin’ atcha, gosh darn it!

Originally published at jeremyjarratt.com. You can comment here or there.

(I posted this as a response to some angry and unpleasant conservative’s blog post comment, and figured if i was going to do any research at all, i may as well reap the benefit of publishing it here as well, since that person might not be able to read very well anyway.)

McCain is 72 and has had melanoma. That means skin cancer. The average life expectancy in the U.S. is currently about 75 years for males. And he was a smoker for many years of his life, quitting in 1980 when he was about 44.

You do the math.

If McCain’s elected, we MAY very well wind up with a backstabbing moron who thinks dinosaurs and humans coexisted a mere few thousand years ago, speaks in tongues, believes in witches, can’t pronounce the name of the thousands of planet-killing warheads she’s going to have her hands all over, and thinks that the END of the fucking WORLD is a GOOD thing(?!!).*

But she winks and says something folksy (meaning, retarded and hillbilly) and mindless Republicans all over the country swoon.

It never fails to shock me how brutally ignorant conservatives are.

*in my book, anyone who WANTS the world to end is on the side of evil. Like Doctor Doom evil.

Categories
current events uncategorized

Sarah Palin: unevolved

So… if Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in evolution… can we call her unevolved?? And nobody even gets upset??? Really?!

So... if Sarah Palin doesn't *BELIEVE* in evolution... can we call her NON-EVOLVED?? And nobody even gets upset??? Really?!
Sarah Palin
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uncategorized

Sarah Palin: unevolved

Originally published at jeremyjarratt.com. You can comment here or there.

So… if Sarah Palin doesn’t believe in evolution… can we call her unevolved?? And nobody even gets upset??? Really?!

So... if Sarah Palin doesn't *BELIEVE* in evolution... can we call her NON-EVOLVED?? And nobody even gets upset??? Really?!

Sarah Palin

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uncategorized

“God hates fags” movies

OMFG why didn’t anyone tell me about this!? Westboro Baptist Church apparently has its very own movies site! It’s hilarious and sad at the exact same time. The music videos are priceless! Why on earth do people like Rev. Dr. King and the Kennedys get shot while Fred Phelps is still walking???

Categories
media uncategorized

Westboro Baptist movies

OMFG why didn’t anyone tell me about this!? Westboro Baptist Church apparently has its very own movies site! It’s hilarious and sad at the exact same time. The music videos are priceless! Why on earth do people like Rev. Dr. King and the Kennedys get shot while Fred Phelps is still walking???

Categories
internets uncategorized

“Fanatical Ignorance”

Exploring The Creation Museum – America’s New Mecca of Fanatical Ignorance
Excellent article on religious super-fundamentalism!

Categories
uncategorized

Ben Stein: apparently, biggest idiot ever

Ben Stein, who we no doubt all know and love from his appearances on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Win Ben Stein’s Money, has made a little movie. It’s called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (my thoughts exactly), and it’s a cute little rickroll of an adventure flick with Pro-Nazi Chuck Darwin leading the hoary brigades on a fell mission of genocide and eugenics. Only problem is, it’s a big fat pig-fucking lie. Unfortunately for Mister Stein, he got all of his facts wrong. Well, nearly all, as the credits (both opening and closing) do appear to be accurate.

Here, then, is Scientific American’s John Rennie and Steve Mirsky, reporting on the pitiful, outright lies perpetrated in this ridiculous movie.


Categories
current events internets media movies uncategorized

Ben Stein: apparently, biggest idiot ever

Ben Stein, who we no doubt all know and love from his appearances on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Win Ben Stein’s Money, has made a little movie. It’s called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (my thoughts exactly), and it’s a cute little rickroll of an adventure flick with Pro-Nazi Chuck Darwin leading the hoary brigades on a fell mission of genocide and eugenics. Only problem is, it’s a big fat fart-sucking lie. Unfortunately for Mister Stein, he got all of his facts wrong. Well, nearly all, as the credits (both opening and closing) do appear to be accurate.

Here, then, is Scientific American’s John Rennie and Steve Mirsky, reporting on the pitiful, outright lies perpetrated in this ridiculous movie.

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uncategorized

omg i, am in, hell with, LarryR.

omg.

info: Please wait for a HostGator operator to respond.
info: Welcome to HostGator Live Chat! You are now chatting with ‘Larry R.’
Larry R.: Welcome to HostGator, how may I assist you?
jeremy: hi, i was just wondering…
jeremy: in Cpanel, under Mail, when i manage mail, it has a link to show disk usage….
jeremy: however, a few of my accounts are full or nearing full, and yet i cannot for the life of me find any of this mail
jeremy: i have checked in all three webmail apps, and in spam, trash, inbox folders, sent mail, drafts, and i cannot find where all this mail exists.
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: What is the primary domain name on the account please?
jeremy: jeremyjarratt.com
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: Please wait while I check.
Larry R.: You would need to set the accounts, disk space in your whm.
Larry R.: Set the disk space limit*
jeremy: yeah, i have 20MB quotas on most of them
jeremy: including all of the ones in question
Larry R.: Try, setting to unlimited to see what happens.
Larry R.: however you can always override it later.
jeremy: ok, i have set one of the mail accounts to unlimited.
jeremy: it still says there are loads of megabytes of mail
jeremy: all i did was increase the ceiling
jeremy: i also tried decreasing it to 1Mb
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: Same error message?
jeremy: on that one, jeremy at jeremyjarratt.com, there is 13mb
jeremy: not an error message, it just says that i am using 13 mb of mail storage
jeremy: but i see no mail anywhere, in any folders
Larry R.: You, would need to delete the old emails. If, not you need to set it to a diffrent amount.
jeremy: same thing for transmothra at transmothra.com and transmothra at meat-thing.com
jeremy: there are no emails. this is what i am trying to tell you
jeremy: it CLAIMS there are loads of emails, but i can not find any. i have already deleted everything.
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: Let me, check for you
jeremy: see what i mean?
jeremy: for example: “transmothra at meat-thing.com transmothra at meat-thing.com 20.01 M 20.00 M”
jeremy: but no email in any folders in Squirrelmail, Horde, or RoundCube
Larry R.: May I have you cpanel/username please.
jeremy: *****
Larry R.: Sir, are you there?
jeremy: yeah
Larry R.: Ok, I am not able to find any error.
Larry R.: If this continues; you will need to send a email to [email protected] one of our Senior Agents can look more in detail into this.
jeremy: how many mb does it say exists in the account transmothra at transmothra.com?
Larry R.: This, would be listed in your WHM
jeremy: no, i am asking you to confirm
Larry R.: Let, me check.
Larry R.: What, is you whm password.
jeremy: *****
Larry R.: I am, not able to login that password doesn’t work.
jeremy: *****
Larry R.: Sir, in your whm.
Larry R.: Look for list account it will show this info.
Larry R.: I tried that password.
Larry R.: Didn’t work.
Larry R.: Click on, the account in whm it will list the mb on, that email.
jeremy: ok… here is the deal: it says 20.01 mb is being used out of 20 mb total. but there are no emails!
Larry R.: Ok, let me check for you.
jeremy: my password for Cpanel is now noemailmoron
Larry R.: Make,sure that you have deleted all trash in the webmail.
Larry R.: And nothing is in the sent email folder.
Larry R.: This could be the only way, it would say this.
jeremy: yes, i know this… however, the reason why i am chatting with you right now is because this is not the case. there is no email in any folder of the mail accounts in question… and yet cpanel thinks that i have reached my mail quota.
jeremy: do you understand now?
Larry R.: Right, there are trash emails, send emails.
Larry R.: This is the only way it would say this.
Larry R.: Bulk mail’s ?
jeremy: i have deleted everything and emptied the trash.
jeremy: all folders are empty but my quota is used up. why is this?
Larry R.: I don’t understand why it would say this. What quota did you set it to.
jeremy: any. i have set it to 20mb, unlimited, and 1mb, and it continues to say that there is 20mb filled, even when there is no mail in sent, trash, spam, inbox folders
Larry R.: Ok, go ahead and send a email to [email protected]
Larry R.: Our senior admin needs to look into this.
jeremy: ok, thank you Larry.
Categories
life uncategorized

Today Our Ceiling Fell In

So today, Holly goes “you should take a lookit this ceiling in here” and i knew it was gonna be something bad. There’s been an open seam running parallel to the wall right above the sofa, underneath the upstairs bedroom closet. This afternoon, it had suddenly open and torn itself roughly perpendicular, in an ‘L’ shape. I immediately called our landslumlord (the guy who refused to fix the downstairs electrical tangle-box, and who doesn’t seem to care much that people who wear sandals over here get their feet cut open because the front door has an entire pane of glass completely shattered and glass is always falling out of it all over everywhere; it’s a good thing Speck hasn’t eaten any – yet), and left a message that he better get someone over here soon, because it’s GOING to fall in.

Why is it that these things always, always, always happen directly above the sofa?

Later that day…

Holly and i go out for supplies. We pull back in to see a van in the driveway. Then, a white-haired figure coming out of our house. It’s our landslumlord. I ask what brings him over, wondering if he got my message, but also wondering just what the hell he was doing in our place. He’s coughing his lungs out and looks bad. He’s also dumping god knows what into the neighbor’s trash can. He tells us that the ceiling had fallen out. We’re like ZOMG WTFH!?!! and he’s telling us that yes, it actually did fall. He tells us to open as many windows as we can, that someone would be out to fix it tomorrow (today now), and hightails it out of there.

So we’re like ZOMFG WTF! and we open the door to see… pure, pure white. A thick powdery haze is everywhere! We’re breathing plaster.

Everything in the downstairs floor was covered in white powder. Everything. The worst, of course, was in the living room, where my PC and the laptop were. And the furniture, and the TV, etc.

We cleaned up as much as we could, and let it air out (none of the windows open, or the ones that do don’t have screens, so we open the doors and i prop a box fan on a chair and point two more to it, directing the coke-like haze to leave at once. It’s approximately breathable again.

Incidentally, we’re pretty sure that it hadn’t crashed down before he arrived. Holly has a giant teddy bear that we keep in a chair. When we got in, the bear was on the floor and wasn’t nearly as dusted up as the chair it had been propped up on. We think he was fucking around with the ceiling and it crashed in on top of him.

Here’s what we have now. I can’t find our Olympus, so these were taken with the laptop’s webcam. Click on the pictures for a larger view.

Approximately what we saw when we arrived on the scene (haze added in GIMP 2.0):
ceiling, with an approximation of the powdery haze we had to breathe (done in GIMP)

And here’s what it looks like right now:
ceiling, with giant hole

Close-up:
ceiling, closeup

Incidentally, a black PS2 controller:
detail of PS2 controller... that's a BLACK controller

The black shop-vac that he left for us:
the shop-vac that he left for us... also formerly black in color

How am i feeling? I HAS RILLY ANGRY!1!!!
a little bit upset

Categories
life uncategorized

ouch

tonight Holly was cooking and the fire alarm went off. i jumped at it to try and twist it to get it down and shut it off and my hand hit the ceiling really hard and now my thumb feels broken but i think it’s ok – there’s not much swelling, although Holly had it iced almost immediately.

it hurts like a f—er.

Categories
current events uncategorized

Good to See You Leaving, Donald!

Looks like the Army may get its way: Rumsfeld is quitting a disgraceful failure. The man who made Saddam Hussein is finally leaving.

These are good times, indeed!

Former CIA chief Robert Gates may be taking over. I’d like to think that any human being (or chimpanzee, for that matter) could do the job of U.S. Secretary of Defense better than Donald Rumsfeld has, but I’m not counting my chickens until they botch the war in Iraq further. Kind of feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop in a way, doesn’t it?

Categories
current events uncategorized

Foley’s follies

Foley’s Alleged Priest Molester Named

Mark Foley, Pointing the Finger in HellSo… I suppose this makes it… okay now?

Just like a Republican to turn around when he’s being accused of some heinous act and suddenly point the finger at somebody else. Poor priest probably never even touched the bastard. Maybe.

I can hear his voice, lo, across the great digital expanse:

“Well, yeah, I guess I did sort of do the wrong thing, kind of. But he’s the one who really did it! He made me! If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have done anything wrong at all, ever! It’s all his fault! I didn’t really do anything, really!”

Categories
life work

Aren’t morons cute?

Sometimes I look at all the wonderful and good things that mere people have done throughout the vast, untold millennia of history, and I feel such an upwelling of pride for my fellow human beings, and the accomplishments of this incredible civilization that we have created, that I believe I just might explode.

And sometimes I just want to stab my fucking eyes out. O, how cruelly naive I can be!

Also at work today, i received an e-mail that gave me an idea for a new micro-podcast (which i’ve christened a nanocast; get it?), and the following, unrelated, e-mail (spacing, spelling, and complete and total obliteration of conventional rules of syntax and grammar intentionally left intact for humiliation):

Two thing return .  29.99  and   14.99   just one return no . Just two  things back to you .  Still owe me  14.99   that is correct and miss one   don’t say 14.99   I bet that you forget put on it .    Thanks  !

[sic]

(Translation: I also returned another item which I noticed you do not have listed on the return confirmation e-mail which I have received but failed to include for your reference. Can you provide further information on this issue? Is it possible that it could have somehow been lost?)

Q: What was the customer’s name?

pick one name from each column:
first name last name
Tonto Nahasapeemapetilon
Tumak Rogers
Sharon , The Ape Man
Ayla Bartokomous
Tuong Souphanousinphone

A: If you guessed “Sharon Rogers,” you’d be sadly correct. Not only that, but she was from Arizona.

Bonus: If you can guess to whom those other names belong, you are not only smarter than “Sharon Rogers,” you are indeed worthy of being enshrined as a Thinking Person.

 

NOTE: names and places have been changed to protect the imbecile’s privacy.

Categories
current events media uncategorized

Brainlessness at Reuters

Brainless: The Lies and Lunacy of Ann CoulterJoe Maguire lost his job at Reuters for writing a book about Ann Coulter. The book is called Brainless: The Lies and Lunacy of Ann Coulter.

Reuters confirmed that Mr. Maguire was granted conditional approval to write his book on Ms. Coulter… When asked what changed once the book was ready, a company statement pointed to Reuters’ principles of “integrity, independence and freedom from bias.”

So what is all this talk about Liberal media? And before you point out that Mr. Maguire’s book may or may not be left of the dial, a book is one thing, but news is another thing entirely. By firing a guy for pointing out that Ann Coulter is – duh! – a mindless raving lunatic (and doing so in a perfectly legitimate venue), they are effectively supporting biased journalism of a far worse kind than that which could have ever conceivably come from Mr. Maguire himself.

And anyway, if pointing out that the Emperor* is wearing no clothes** makes you a traitor, then does that make unbiased journalists insurgents?

 

* 1 Coulter; or, 2 mainstream media in general
** 1 is a blathering idiot; or, 2 has no business presenting a blathering idiot’s foolish, inane lies as the truth