transmothraI haven’t talked to him yet, but i’m all but certain that my landlord just sold the house that we’re living in. The one we just moved into. The one we had our hearts set on buying. What this really means is anybody’s guess.
See, he just showed the place last week. And just today, the listing i had bookmarked is gone; in its place, a dialogue box pops up advising that it’s been “taken off the market.”
We’ll see. I really, really, really don’t want to move all over again.
it’s starting to really hit me. the initial shock and numbness is done with. today is somehow different. it was already really bad for me (it’s been a deepening pit of hell for 2 1/2 years now, with the absolute worst part of it starting just two weeks ago). but now it seems even harsher somehow. i feel like i’m trying desperately to escape the immense gravity of a black hole.
it’s sinking in.
hell, i’m sinking in.
someone i knew and loved, lived with and shared experiences and conversations with for years and years… dead. gone. forever.
no more talking. no more sharing. no more gestures or hugs or ironic smiles. ever.
i should point out that, as a devout agnostic who leans rather heavily towards atheism, i do not believe in an afterdeath of any kind. extraordinary claims, after all, require extraordinary evidence. so this is… difficult. to say the least.
life. gone. over. finished. done. kaput. a fire is snuffed forever.
this may be even worse than when my poor sweet grandmother died in 2001, if only because now, the other shoe has finally dropped. it’s like the floor itself has been pulled out from under me, and all that exists is empty space underneath for me to fall through. the bottom, as it were, has dropped out!
i am starting to freak out
Looks like the Army may get its way: Rumsfeld is quitting a disgraceful failure. The man who made Saddam Hussein is finally leaving.
These are good times, indeed!
Former CIA chief Robert Gates may be taking over. I’d like to think that any human being (or chimpanzee, for that matter) could do the job of U.S. Secretary of Defense better than Donald Rumsfeld has, but I’m not counting my chickens until they botch the war in Iraq further. Kind of feels like waiting for the other shoe to drop in a way, doesn’t it?
Scientists Take Step Toward Invisibility
Dr. [David R.] Smith warned against getting ahead of the day’s announcement and envisioning the disappearing Romulan warbirds of “Star Trek†on the horizon. The work “is really a scientific explanation,†he said, adding, “Whether it’s useful is always a question.â€Creating a cloaking device in the visible spectrum would be vastly more complex, he said, since the device would have to warp all of the wavelengths of light. The chance of creating such a device is “dim,†he said, but, “The theory doesn’t prevent it from an electromagnetic point of view.â€
A real invisibility cloak? Wizard!
“Our cloak allows a concealed volume, plus the cloak, to appear to have properties similar to free space when viewed externally,†Professor David Smith, of Duke University, said. “The cloak deflects microwave beams so they flow around a ‘hidden’ object, making it appear almost as if nothing were there at all. The waves’ movement is similar to river water flowing around a smooth rock.â€
Marijuana May Slow Alzheimer’s
THC, the key compound in marijuana… blocks the formation of brain-clogging Alzheimer‘s plaques better than current Alzheimer’s drugs.
Janda’s team found that THC blocks an enzyme called acetylcholinesterase, which speeds the formation of amyloid plaque in the brains of people with Alzheimer’s disease.
The Alzheimer’s drugs Aricept and Cognex work by blocking acetylcholinesterase. When tested at double the concentration of THC, Aricept blocked plaque formation only 22% as well as THC, and Cognex blocked plaque formation only 7% as well as THC.
I’m not a marijuana smoker, but I do believe that it is just plain stupid to maintain its currently illegal status. We smoke cigarettes, which do nothing for us but kill us in the end, or at least reduce our life span; we drink alcohol, which makes us stupid and often violent, impairs our reflexes, and causes cirrhosis of the liver. Cannabis has shown time and time again that it is a valuable plant which should absolutely be legalized. Having had a great grandfather who had Alzheimer’s, I’ve seen first-hand what a truly horrifying thing that disease is (note: not “can be,” it simply “is”). If there’s a better-than-with-current-drugs chance that I may be able to stave off the potential onslaught of a slow, mind-reducing, soul-killing, life-crushing disease like that, I may just start toking myself. Better yet, I may start eating the stuff. Trust me, there are very few things worse than dying over a period of several years from a disease which eventually completely eradicates all memory and personality from a human being’s life.
Screw glaucoma (which I may one day develop as well), I want to see more research on this!
YouTube has an amazing video of RuBot II – The Rubik’s cube solving robot. I so want one. My birthday’s coming up, but the creator’s website isn’t, so I have no idea if they have a Wishlist feature. [UPDATE] I was typing in the wrong address; it’s http://mechatrons.com/.
This is the new version of RuBot by Pete Redmond from Dublin, Ireland. It’s very different to the prototype but it has to be the coolest looking robot solver ever. There are cameras in the eyes of the head that scan the cube before the pneumatic arms solve it. It usually solves the Cube in a max of about 50 seconds (not including the scan) no matter how much it is mixed up.
The solving algorithm is taken care of by Herbert Kociemba’s Cube Explorer software and usually solves the cube in a maximum of about 20 moves. In this video, the cube wasn’t mixed up too hard so RuBot was able to find the optimum solution.
Thanks to all of those who think it is too good to be true. That is a real compliment!
Today at work, two co-workers told me that they had Windows Updates, which made mention of or reference to IE7, ready to install on their home PCs.
Anyone know what this is about?
Welcome back, The Future of Rock and Roll!
We may be getting closer to ‘solving’ the [in]famous Drake equation. The only worrying variable is L, the lifespan of an intelligent civilization. Although, if other civilizations are as keen on self-destruction as are we, then that might also explain Fermi’s Paradox.
* However, the Nougat Quotient remains, sadly, unknown :(
CNN reports that scientists in Denmark were able to successfully teleport a macroscopic object with billions of atoms. Forbløffende! What this means for the future of computing: Quantum computers will be able to transmit data absolutely securely. Let’s hope the government Big Brother allows us common people have privacy like that, and not just keep it all to themselves.
Don’t get your hopes up just yet, though. We still have a long, long way to go before we can teleport living matter without ending up with a pile of sticky goo at the other end.
I’m thinking about dead friends:
Stacey Hurt (class of ’89) hung herself a year or two after she graduated. I sat by her in Study Hall. We had a great time. There are very sweet things about her that i will never, ever forget. I still have a notebook she wrote on somewhere. Nothing but fond memories. I’ll never forget how i felt a little emptier when she graduated early. That last goodbye was so weak, yet it lasted forever.
I once introduced her to Kevin Lay (90). That scene in my head still creeps me out. There was actually some talk that he just as likely could have swerved to HIT a dog. Either way sounds equally true, if you knew Kevin! That was a black, black day that scarred many of us in his class for life. Even though my politics have changed dramatically since high school, i always had great respect for him. He was one of The Good Ones (if a little overly-mischeivous)! I still use his classic put-down: “turn around and put your head down!”
Mike Mettler (91) will also always lay claim to a sore spot on my heart. He hung himself several years ago at his mother’s house. He was so much fun, so much fun. We invented kooky names and dances and had a great time. The great music we shared, angry and beautiful, always reminds me of him. Dishdogs 4 life. Mojo.
Jimmy Harris (89) was on my bus route. He could be hell sometimes, but i’ll never ever forget the time i was walking out of the restroom and he was walking in, and he said something like, “Hey, Jarratt, what’s up?” – that floored me. I was a freshman and about as uncool as a person could get. I had no idea that he knew my name. Thanks, Jimmy. That meant something, man. Set fire to himself, allegedly while tripping balls.
Bill White (89) …what can i say? He was a cocky bastard who i hated, and a devious angel who i jealously adored. I got to see a real good side of him, though. He was a lot humbler than he usually let on, especially as he got older and gentler. He got through a whole lot of hell in his life. A master musician, on both guitar and drums; my favorite band to play in was any with him in it, even if i was in a Bill-hating phase. The best, though, was with him and Jeremy & Tony Dawson. I always felt *tremendously* honored that he took drums and gave his blessing to my sorry worthless ass to play the guitar (we were way past the bullshit by then). He shot himself just a few years ago, and nobody really understands that but him. I fully regret not being able to catch him before he finally fell.
There are too many others. None are truly gone from us until we have forgotten them at last. Never forget.
I guess i’d say that Mike and Bill hurt the most. It hurts a lot, even to this terrible moment.
Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
And anguish, somehow, to deep, breathless joy.
Spill a little for my homies, thump thump.
Good and Bad news for Cincy music fans. First the bad:
97X WOXY.com is closing. Yet again. This time, probably, for real, and forever. 97X was THE alternative radio station for most of the 80s and all of the 90s; the greatest radio station ever, it was college rock on a pro level, with 100% great (and diverse) alternative, underground, and indie music (and some commercials). It closed down as a physical station a couple of years ago, and has continued its legendary legacy purely online ever since. Good bye, alternative radio.
But… at least the Afghan Whigs are showing signs of life! Nothing to start a new religion over just yet, but four new songs is something.
The Yes Men, a group of painfully satirical culture jamming pranksters, have done it again: they duped organizers of the Gulf Coast Reconstruction and Hurricane Preparedness Summit into thinking that Andy Bichlbaum was Rene Oswin, an official stand-in for Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) Secretary Alphonso Jackson, announcing that HUD was not going to tear down 5,000 units of affordable public housing (projects) in New Orleans …a blatant lie meant to bring attention to the fact that HUD was actually planning on doing the exact opposite, even with people clamoring to return to some semblance of normal home life.
William Loiry, president of meeting sponsor Equity International, said he was duped.
“We were contacted about a week ago or so by someone who we believed to be [public relations firm] Hill & Knowlton [saying] that they were representing the HUD secretary and that he wanted to make a major announcement at this summit.”
Loiry said he was told a few minutes before he had planned to introduce Jackson that the secretary would be replaced by Oswin.
Video here; CNN article here.
And to explain, from The Yes Men‘s website:
Identity theft: Small-time criminals impersonate honest people in order to steal their money. Targets are ordinary folks whose ID numbers fell into the wrong hands.
Identity correction: Honest people impersonate big-time criminals in order to publicly humiliate them. Targets are leaders and big corporations who put profits ahead of everything else.
The Yes Men have impersonated some of the world’s most powerful criminals at conferences, on the web, and on television, in order to correct their identities. They currently have hundreds of thousands of job openings. Sign up today!
See also:
Situationist International (you must absorb this information to fully understand culture jamming!)
The Yes Men movie
Top 10 places to find royalty free, public domain, stock photos
Stephen Hawking in the news: “It is important for the human race to spread out into space for the survival of the species… Life on Earth is at the ever-increasing risk of being wiped out by a disaster, such as sudden global warming, nuclear war, a genetically engineered virus or other dangers we have not yet thought of.” – He’s also working on a children’s book a la Harry Potter, sans magic. Dude!
Footage of meteoroid hitting the moon.
Court orders Bob Taft (Governor- OH) to disclose potentially scandalous records. Corrupt Bob must give up. What a loser.
Aussie lyrebird is like a freaking dictaphone of nature! I’ve heard wild stories about this bird, but hear it imitate – perfectly! – a buzzing chainsaw, and two different camera shutters!
After the Rodney King riots in South Central, the city gave residents a plot of land in good faith. How nice! They’ve since turned it into the largest urban farm in America! Unfortunately, it is at this very moment under corporate and police attack. It seems the land was dubiously sold out from under The People to developers. Shame, shame, shame! This is outrageous, and reeks of the kind of “indian-giving” that white people are most famous for.
Don’t even try to cancel AOL. They’ll just give you the runaround and, erm, ask for your father. WTF.
Sexy ro-bots having sexy sex.
An even weirder video: “dancing” Japanese girls teaching defensive English. I guess. Don’t make fun of them.
EFF‘s The Corruptibles!
Onward, Christian soldiers: Sick, twisted revenge-fantasy that is the Left Behind series to be made into sick, twisted revenge-fantasy videogame. Violence! Killing heathens (Jews, Buddhists, Muslems, pro-choicers, non-radical-right type Christians, profaners, etc.)! Now YOU can be the vehicle for God’s Final Holocaust!
Microbes from outer space rained down on India. No shit. Alien life forms! Well, maybe.
New animal species found in Israel! At least 8 new sightless animal species found in Israel cave: 4 land, 4 water (2 fresh and 2 seawater). The giant cave, scientists believe, has been entirely closed off for millions of years, allowing the independent evolution of these strange species.
No matter how much you want to believe otherwise, you’re just not ever going to believe these startling, floor-dropping-out-from-under-you news stories of Ro-bots*, and of chickens. Science to the rescue?! I think not, good sir! If only we could turn back the hands of time toward yesterday, when things were so more… innocenter.
The tables have finally turned! Humans can now control The Ro-bots via thoughts! Never again will a Ro-bot control my thoughts, or control me with its thoughts! And i’m kinda glad about that, i guess, but i think that by some measure, i will miss the old days.
This just in: Egg came first after all. I really do wish i didn’t have to keep continually using this next phrase, but it certainly is warranted in this case: Sorry, chicken.
* or, as Holly calls these metal demons, “Ro-bits”
Today i went over to see my grandfather. He seems confused, as usual, and asking him a question requires waiting around for at least a minute before he figures out how to say the answer, if he remembers what the question was at that time. So that’s nice and depressing.
But a really weird thing happened. We were sitting there, watching Curb Your Enthusiasm, when suddenly a little toy Douglas C-47 (a metal/plastic replica of the troop carrier my grandfather was in through all four Market Garden missions during WWII; about 3 inches long, something like this one) that was sitting on top of the television set came flying off and crashed onto the carpet about 5 feet away, right at my feet.
…As in, “WTF”!
I tested it to see how far it would bounce if it had just fallen off on its own due to the vibrations of the television. It landed directly in front of the television, bouncing a few inches at the most. That’s not five feet, i thought to myself.
My dad and Charlie (sp?), the caretaker for the night, said that this had happened before. She said that she herself hadn’t seen it happen, but was extraordinarily nonplussed. She told me that Jennifer, another caretaker, was sitting on the floor in front of the sofa (just about where i was when it happened tonight), when the exact same thing happened.
…As in, “WTF”!?
And then i remembered that my friend Tony once stayed over, not terribly long after my grandmother had died, and had stayed in her room. He reported the next day that he had seen someone in the room with him. I told him at the time that, in the darkness, and in his drunken state, it had probably only been his own reflection in a mirror. He vehemently denied any possibility of that. My friend Tony, who’s pretty skeptical about anything even remotely implausible…
So… now what? I’m a skeptic, goddammit! I do not believe in ghosts! How am i supposed to reconcile this event with reason? I mean, there simply MUST be a logical explanation for this, other than that my grandmother is haunting their house.
