just did some serious cleaning up of my friends list. i deleted a shitload of people, including at least one person who i really liked a lot. i’m only keeping around people who i either know IRL, had good times with online, or who i have an awful lot in common with (yeah, the weird ones), and therefore just really really dig. i’ll wait until later to delete them.
some people fit all three of these things, but i deleted you anyway. it does NOT mean i don’t like you or don’t care or anything like that.
so if i deleted you and you think i shouldn’t have, i’m an asshole, and now you know. feel free to delete me as well. what the fuck?
sometimes, you just have to quit everything you love, turn around, take a good look at yr life and your situation, and decide what’s what. and if nothing is anything, your present impression of your situation is just rotten, and everything you thought you knew only turned out to be a pack of dadaist lies, then ya gotta sabotage yourself. shoot yourself in the foot. burn some bridges. give yourself a reason to never stop kicking yourself in the face. we all have to have things we wish we’d never done, and things we wish we had done. i’m just making up for all the things i did right. (not many things i ever did were right. so i’m overcompensating?! fuckit.)
so far, most of my life is turning out that way (filled with things i should have and shouldn’t have done or said), so now i’m going to complete the task and turn it all (or the vast majority of it) to shit. maybe i’ll see if i can work my way back. maybe i’ll see if there can be happiness in being truly unhappy. maybe nothing. maybe something. maybe.
and one thing i have way too much of is friends. i’m sick of ’em. i haven’t seen another goddamned human face in MONTHS. and i don’t want to. people (ALL people) drive me nuts. always shit you got to do just to please them, so they’ll at least aim off your eyes when they spit in your face.
fuck ’em. fuck ’em all. fuck the whole god damn world.
all i know is this: i’m cutting my hair, changing my life (baby steps, motherfuckers, so backdafuckup), and going back to college as soon as i get the rest of these damn bridges burnt.
