Author: jae

she’s on her way up to her home town for to revel in yuletide cheer with her family. or something. i hope that things go well and that she has a happy time and her mom and her get along real well.

so now i’m lonely and bored and i miss her already.

my site host sucks. a few weeks ago they had an attack and lost a bunch of data. they never actually bother telling anyone, so the first i heard about it was a couple of weeks later when i happened to check out their message board. they had to reset my password. stupid me: i didn’t write it down, i’d just check it from my private messages inbox on their vboard. now the board is gone and nobody’s responding to my email pleas. and i can’t get any of my meat-thing mail. or even log in to my control panel or ftp a new version of my 404 pages which won’t email me the minute the tiniest little thing doesn’t load. i probably have 1500 messages in there now.

i miss not being able to hang around livejournal more. not really, but i wish i could communicate more often. i haven’t left anyone a single comment in weeks now.

hope you cats are having a good holiday and that things are working out for you.

my job may be ending at the end of this month. i have no money whatsoever and our bills are piling up. they’re ALL due around the 5^th-8^th

i’m going to Failed Seekers on the 4th. it’s a poetry thing at this bar called Jags here in Dayton. my friend hollyquinn1 will be reading there. i may get up and do a couple poems myself. you should go.

i hate poets. pretentious little shits! some are okay.

call me if you want.

yay for bisexuality!

i’m reading a friend’s LJ about how he’s figuring his shit out, and i’m all like hootin’ and hollerin’… see, bi guys are a real weird breed. nobody wants us alive (i.e., on Must-See TV™, or anywhere out of doors, but what the fuck else can we do? we’re a bunch of damn dudes who dig messin around with other dudes, right? nobody wants that around. right?)

ha.

whatever.

so in the interest of being utterly OUT about it… which i may not have been in the past exactly; at least i may have been more vague about it… there’s this guy at work who is hot hot hot. yep. damn straight. i dig the dudes. ok, maybe only a certain skinny, shaggy-haired type. but still.

suck on that, straightheads. i am queer as ten kinds of hell. and so is my girlfriend. fah!

i am thankful for you (i am!) and for my lovely housemate and for my family, who may be slighty deranged but are all Good People (da’s side anyway), and i’m thankful for just about everything, even for Republicans and FoxNews and usurpers in the Oval Office.

thanks, Great Pumpkin. or whatever. ‘preciate it.

life is good.

however, Lisa’s car is fucked so we have to take it to the shop tomorrow. between 4 wheels she has about a dozen lug nuts (should be 20). it shakes soooo violently and the wheels are definitely going to come off v.soon if not fixed within 1 mile.

we have a sofa now and a coffeetable and an endtable and a TV stand and an air mattress wot gets FREEZING (esp. in the mornings) and a chair Tony and i dug out of the dumpster.

i hate my job. Lisa and i were talking about making a fake book to lay on my desk called something like “How to Love the Job You Hate.” i just started on the floor today, after 1 week of horribly lackluster training (however, the trainer was this big hepcat who was endlessly entertaining). i cannot put into words how much i want my job to go to hell. but hey, the peoples is all reet.

also, www.daytonexposed.com

ok, give us free shit now pls k thx.

this is it. tomorrow i leave Nuke Our Lyle, home of Dillinger’s first bank job, for Fly City, home of Hangar 18.

no more computer for awhile.

huge thanks to you all for helping me down the road a ways, and for pointing me in the right direction(s) whenever i get lost… and also just for being such amazing inspirations to me on a daily basis; and apologies to many, many of you, for the fact that i’ve so rarely ever commented in your journals, especially lately, and hardly ever even comment on your comments in my own journal. know that i have read what you had to say, and that i’ve felt all of your joys and frustrations right along with you. my heart goes out to each and every one of you. may you all be far happier and contented when next we meet….

everything should have a theme song.

the theme song for raking leaves is Tom Waits’ “Dirt in the Ground.”

today i got in the mail a birthday present from my old friend Little Mary. it’s the book Zen and the Art of Making a Living: a Practical Guide for Creative Career Design.

look, i know a lot of you are tormented artists, tortured lost souls and the like, and i know you could use some help and practical advice for making a living in a way that will make you happier and healthier and also not in that coglike way where you’re only part of a machine and no more meaning is involved. you would do well to get this book.

Lisa, we’re going to read the hell out of this one and maybe even finally figure out a real good Plan for making this whole experience of Life on Earth workable.

i’ve complained so many times about how nobody ever gives you instructions on how to go about Doing Your Own Thing in a way that also happens to pay the bills.

this was very likely the best birthday present anyone ever gave me. massive props to Little Mary!

from Saint Rob Brezny’s Free Will Astrology:
(lisa)
CANCER (June 21-July 22): New species of delight are headed your way, lucky one. Outbursts of exotic bliss await you. There’s only one obstacle that could interfere with your enjoyment: your attachment to old familiar ways of stirring up the good times. Be willing to put them aside, at least temporarily, so that you can be fully available for sources of future happiness. Keep William Blake’s poem in mind: “He who bends to himself a joy / Does the winged life destroy; / But he who kisses the joy as it flies / Lives in eternity’s sunrise.” Halloween costume suggestion: your favorite bird.

(jeremy)
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you enjoy tormenting yourself with fantasies of bad things that might happen in the future, surf over to the “Dante’s Inferno Test” website (http://www.4degreez.com/misc/dante-inferno-test.mv). There you can get a prediction about what level of hell you’ll be exiled to after you die. If, on the other hand, you’re finally ready to shed your perverse attraction to doom and gloom — and my astrological analysis says you are — then zealously avoid entertaining yourself with fear and anxiety. Instead, use all your ingenuity to track down fascinating encounters with boom and zoom. Halloween costume suggestions: a pirate wearing smiley face buttons or a gangsta rapper with a fuzzy Sesame Street puppet.

http://www.lovingtonarms.com/

so… should i be using XHTML now, or is it okay to keep using HTML?

finally met with the brownstone’s landlady (w/Lisa). also found a couple other affordable options. may possibly go with this super location but boring and ugly place, if we can ever find the manager. will update tomorrow if possible. grandfather gave his approval in the form of some much-needed financial help, so we may not have to rough it so bad for the first month or two after all.

i can’t smoke in the house :(

i haven’t seen Lisa in so long, so it was sooooo good that she finally ended up coming out to see the places with me, and she’s pretty positive most of the time. and “the rest” (wink) is still fantastic, but no hootchie-cootchie from now until i stop smoking, so waaaaah! on that.

Spinal Tap/Best in Show fans: go and rent A Mighty Wind NOW. the entire cast of Best In Show is in it, and everyone plays their own instruments (some even had to LEARN them!) and it’s so damn good and Harry, Michael, and Christopher are the Folksmen and i’m not saying anything else except to GO AND SEE THIS MUFUG.

just got back from my interview and drug test. i go in Thursday morning for agency orientation, and then i start work on the 3rd. nothing even remotely glamorous, so no congratulations are in order, thanks. but it’s a job, and it pays enough for me to get by and live with Lisa and pay bills.

the apartment is still available, and i’ve made an appointment to go and see it with Lisa tomorrow at 4pm. tonight it’s off to see my old old pal Jessie for a little bit and then back home again to see my sweetheart, who might be here around midnight.

i just told my grandfather i’m moving out to live in sin (lots and lots of sin!) (i didn’t tell him that part of course) with Lisa. he didn’t really have anything to say, although i made sure to tell him in the presence of witnesses, so i’m sure i’ll get an earful later on.

just got back from driving all the hell over the place most of the day looking for apartments to rent. i saw no signs whatsoever, although people named “Flora” and “Kent” who are running for office really piss me off with their signs. however, i’ve seen about a million apartment complexes, although that’s not going to help much, because all apartment complexes do credit checks, and my credit is horrible (i’ve just verified that fact yesterday).

the best bet STILL seems to be that place i looked at the other day in Fairborn. that’s a good sign, though, because it’s held out above the rest ever since i started looking, looking, and REALLY looking into places. i have a couple more places to check out tomorrow, although i think one of them is in the same neighborhood as the really crappy place i saw last week.

(if you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s back on… and the fact that she’s willing to tough out the trying times for me is a good sign too. i think she might even fix my head for good one of these days.)

Belief-O-Matic™

kinda surprised by the first 2 (only kinda, really), and by the order of some of the others (Taoism below Protestant?). i’ve always been pretty divided between the Theraveda and Mahayana schools of Buddhism, so some of it seems pretty accurate. thanks to metaphorge for the link.

APARTMENT:
2pm. i show up on Morris Drive. the whole block looks very brickbuilt but old, yet not exactly unkempt. it’s fairly run-down, but not so much that you worry about the kind of people who live in the neighborhood. these folks are halfway between poor and doing alright. kids run around in the streets, but they’re not wearing rags and they look content. all the windows along the street are intact.

Jim shows up; he’s not the landlady. the landlady is busy and sent him. he does some work for Debbie and her husband, who own the building, and has known them for a number of years. at first, i am wishing that Debbie had shown up, so i can get down to brass tacks with her and ask all the important questions. after a while, though, i’m glad that i got a perspective on her from Jim. he let on that Debbie may trust people a bit too much (yay for me – i’m trustable of course, but i don’t actually have a job just yet, so it may help).

the place has 2 bedrooms and a huge shared basement. the next-door neighbor, whose name is either Lathan or Latham (or something like that), is a kid in his early 20s and may be a bit slow. i haven’t yet met him, but he’s apparently real jovial. so that’s good. good neighbors are every bit as important as a good place and a good deal. he has his own washer and dryer in the basement, and we might be able to work out something with him on that front.

tenants are responsible for the lawn, but Debbie pays for indoor repairs, and is apparrently quick about things.

hardwood floors. a fridge and a stove. gas heating. upstairs (the whole floor). place seems pretty roomy; even the kitchen isn’t cramped. parking is excellent, as the neighbor parks out back, and we can park in the drive or even on the street.

it’s rustic, but solid. $400 + $400. i think Debbie might work with us on the deposit. she sounds really down to earth, which i like a LOT.

JOB:
i called the temp agency (not Adecco, which has thus far failed me in almost every way). Casey there was real nice and sounded like she understood that i’m a call center veteran. i think i answered her few questions fairly well; which is to say: not incredibly professionally, but nonetheless human, respectfully, and most importantly, likeably. i have an interview on Monday at 2pm. the location is in Dayton, and the pay is more than adequate, though not quite what i would like (it never is, as anyone knows).

so things are, inconceivably, looking up.

finally, the stories are starting to come out….

update: more stories here.

oh my god. one of the greatest singer-songwriters the world has ever seen is gone forever.

R.I.P. Elliot Smith.

grr today was shit and i DREAD tomorrow. i’m going to end up paying for credit checks i can’t conceivably pass, for apartment managers who will inevitably see through my lie of having any sort of income, and if there is any such thing as luck, i MIGHT come home with a lease on a low-rent apartment in the crappiest ghetto south of Cleveland.

all in a vain attempt at winning the heart of someone who will never, ever commit to me.

things need to look up RIGHT FUCKING QUICKLIKE.

ganked directly from Atrios:

(syndicated via atrios)

good news! the president of the organization for which i’ve been a webmaster just called me to say that 1) she left my check at work and will be bringing it by tomorrow, and 2) she talked to the director of the band program at Greenon and they may be interested in hiring me to do a site for them. if i play my cards just right, i might be able to get a site slapped together and get the development pay before i move….

i’m posting this from Deepest Sender, a Mozilla Firebird extension. hope it works!