Author: jae

1) site down. i can still log in via FTP, but no pages are being served. wtf?? this better fucking well get cleared up pronto or i’m switching hosts.
2) got my Amy Ketchum (aka secretlanguage) CD today! yay! in a little bit i’m going to put it on and read USN&WR and Discover (great article in latest ish re: peyotl, btw).
3) i applied for an “electronic layout” position today. wish me luck, as its the only job i’ve found in months that stands a remote chance of not causing me to want to die. of course, it might help things if every single fucking URL on my resume weren’t FUCKING DOWN right now.
4) i forgot what this one was.
5)  fnord 

thanks to Google‘s latest spidering, my average hits per day has jumped from 17 to 36! and i’m getting a few bizarre searches leading them to me, too. Neil Gaiman has it good.

Hank Williams Sr Death Certificate??!

jesus, this shit is hilarious!!

The Very Secret Diary of Saruman the White

Day One
Am bored. No cable in Isengard. Nothing to do but write rude anonymous letters to Radagast the Brown and Manfred the Slightly Ecru.

Perhaps will have a look at the palantir.

Day Two
Have met v. nice guy via palantir. He seems to really like me for me and not just because am most powerful wizard in Middle Earth. Wonder what he looks like.

Day Three
Am becoming disenchanted with palantir guy. Refuses to send me photo, except of one v. large eyeball. Says he is shy but I rather suspect he is fat, or perhaps hairy. Have heard some v. bad stories about palantir relationships. Should probably cool it for a while.

Day Seven
Well, wouldn’t you know, palantir guy turned out to be Dark Lord of Mordor. Just my luck. Could have been worse, I guess. Sauron not fat or hairy, just disembodied force of evil. Must go now, have to raise massive demon army to scourge the earth. Also, have manicure appointment. Is no easy task keeping nails pointy.

Day Thirteen
Am tired of climbing up and down eight million stairs just to taunt Gandalf.

this RULES. (thanks to the ever-brilliant tyrsalvia for the link!)

i’m going to be including a little section on the right-hand menu of transmothra.com for friends’ sites. please comment here with a link to your site(s), otherwise if i already know your site’s main URL i will use that one. also, if you have a preference for the link verbage, let me know.

and feel free to link back to me if ya want ;)
you can use any of the following – lower-case please (www’s not necessary):
transmothra.com
meat-thing.com
technothrope.com (not recommended, under construction)
mp3.com/transmothra

haPpyt birFFtffhday to all aandf to alll a night-nitght!!!

changelog:

black.css

cleaned up some code

better resolution-independence

new image set

image gallery finally online

new blog system installed (full customization/seamless integration + massive tweakage, including archival of old Blogger entries, in just 3 hours!)… plus new system includes comment feature that works! (and is syndicatable using this file)

i am the baddest-assed coder in the whole GOT damn world, sho’ ’nuff!

i need a canvas. what do you do when you need to stretch out your soul to dry and you have no clothesline?

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there’s an awful pain in the lower back part of my right lung. like any wounded animal, i supposed it will just heal itself. bleggh.

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when i was a child, i used to play out epic scenes of catharsis with my Micronauts. the line between good and evil was always blurry, everyone had their own agendas, and neither side ultimately won, ever. the “bad” guys were always killed off by the “good” guys, but it always took a supreme act of self-sacrifice to do it, usually culminating in a sweeping death scene involving whole armies, populations, even galaxies. the final scene was usually the same: hero proclaims last words, dies; camera backs out and slowly zooms out to reveal a barren wasteland, covered in the bodies of those killed in the futile battle for livingkind’s destiny… usually the peak of a hill, with smoke wisps from spent artillery partially clouding the environment… red sky and ice-covered mountains in the background… as the camera zooms slowly out the only sound is that of the wind… fade to black… silence. finis.

no undertakers, no funerals.

i’m feeling very Afghan Whigs right now.

note to self:
please try to remember that you have Kleenex stuffed in your nose before lighting that Camel, especially with that crack-lighter you got.

added to my growing list of coming attractions/repulsions: grrl-power rant. (more pro than con, certainly, but i plan on discussing the growing trend of “me-first-ism” within the otherwise truly awesome grrl power movement, a trend which i find to be ugly as a motherfucker.)

also: Joy Division kicks New Order’s pale, scrawny disco ass any god damn day. discuss.

well, in terms of net gains, i got much more than i gave, which was disappointng, because i always prefer to give much more than i receive. this year i gave out a paltry sum of books, one each to most, including family, except for a select few who received very special books, including Tony’s precious little daughter Abigail Willow, to whom i gave a beautiful big book entitled Nelson Mandela’s Favorite African Folk Tales, the coolest book i’ve seen in a long time, and exactly the sort of book my Uncle Kent would have given me when i was a kid, had Nelson Mandela not been imprisoned for decade after decade in a squallid, no doubt disease- and rat- infested prison cell under the captivity of the then-white, thoroughly-evil S. African regime of the time (no apologies to any white South African who might happen upon this entry; it is high time for your kind to leave the whole of Africa at once, especially if you are not an ally of the Original Populace and thus part of the solution that is). in it i had inscribed the following: To Abigail, my favorite kid in the whole world. don’t grow up too fast, and may you dream in bright colors always. love, your “other” uncle jeremy (Tony’s brother is named Jeremy as well). but i missed her, because i guess she’s with her mom, i think out East at her other grandparents’ for the holidays.

what i got: a couple of wacky pens, two pairs of pajamas (i HATE pajamas – why not just wear boxers, which get washed after only a day or two instead?), a cool Eddie Bauer sweatshirt-type thing, some loungin’ pants, a buncha socks, a Beatles calendar featuring all their album covers full size!, a huge book of 4 of Bruno Ernst’s M.C. Escher books, umm let’s see… at any rate also i got this incredibly cool little glass pod containing tiny little shrimp, which is a completely self-contained biosphere! very interesting indeed… you can’t even open it and they produce everything they need, thanks to algae and whatnot in there, and the longest-lasting ones have so far lasted about 10 years! i also got a pullover, and i think that’s just about it. oh, a 3CD set of Santana bootlegs, which my dad also gave me last year as well, heh. and a copy of the Weekly World News. oh, and some Drakkar Noir, which i actually had quite given up wearing, along with any other sort of dumb cologne (but oh well).

my dad and his fiancee (yes, she’s now his fiancee) have been here since yesterday afternoon. it’s been nice, if tiring.

i hope every last one of you got everything you wanted, and then some! let thee be merry unto thyselves!

i hope everyone’s having a wonderful holiday!

as for me, i am sick as a dog and can hardly breathe because my lungs and throat have somehow metamorphosed into 40-grit sandpaper. ugh. but i got some pretty cool stuff, which i will tell of presently, when all the hellish bits of this holiday are over and done with and i find myself once again with the silence to think with. i also delivered my scrawny little packages on time, if a little late, and got myself invited to go drinking with Cat & Seth on saturday… although i had also had tentative plans to possibly go to 1470 West that night with Tony, so we’ll see how things work out. i may be laid up anyhow. i feel miserable!

i was going to say something really brilliant and funny here, but i’m just too sick to pull it off properly. that and i forgot what it was anyway.

 happy Festivus everyone!! 

note to self: Slim-Fast and soy milk do not mix well. they’re just not a very positive combination. i mean literally. oh, they taste just fine together, that is if you like soy milk. and i do… soy milk, rice milk, whatever… as long as it isn’t some weird, filthy bodily-juice from the highly evolved sweat glands of a fuckin’ cow… but they just do not literally mix well. you stir and you stir and you stir, and all you end up with is a heap of powder, a bunch of gooey liquid, and a mound of foam. kind of like those 5th-grade science experiments. in fact, if i had discovered this powerful combination when i was ten years old, i might have won first prize at the county science fair. who knows? i could’ve had a god damn MacArthur grant by now! and been twenty pounds underweight at the same time!

saith George:
“If you don’t know where you’re going,
any road will take you there.”

how amazing is that?! i mean, shouldn’t that have occurred to people before? what a lyric! so simple, so obvious, and yet he’s the first to actually say it. classic George.

i’m going to make this my mantra, from now on.

this is awesome. thanks, Mike!

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i received my latest djangos order today: Shakes the Clown (DVD) and George Harrison’s Cloud Nine. i put on the Georgie CD and played along to one of my all-time favorite songs: “When We Was Fab”. to my surprise, every single note came instantly. no finding the key, no fuckin around trying to find the roots for any damn barre chords… i just played along, even with the melody lines. it was just there, instantly, like i’d been playing that song my whole life. i’d never played it before! sometimes, i think maybe i’m a much better musician than i give myself credit for. i still can’t play no damn arpeggios like the shredders back in the day could. but who needs that crap anyway? i can play the hell out of my axe, and i can play a lot of classic rock and roll solos note-for-note anyway (“Comfortably Numb”, “Time”, “Hotel California”, “Lights”, “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “More Than a Feeling”, etc.). in fact, all no doubt thanks to Mike‘s mom’s piano tutelage when i was young and awful.

so i also went out tonite and got the new Harrison album, the deluxe edition with the poster, guitar pick, sticker, DVD, etc.. i couldn’t resist.

i can’t wait to get my shit together and finally record a decent album. this next one will definitely be more guitar-oriented; more organic. oh yeah, here‘s the pic i’m thinking of using for the cover.

Joe Strummer is dead.

i am so the man.

check out my anti-hacker script… contains profanity, of course. will not harm your ‘puter, although it looks like something funny is going on. it’s really just a gag script.

meat-thing.com/bbs/any_bad_url

for sake of politeness, i’ve left the close buttons on the windows and kept the window size to 800×600. if for some reason you don’t see them, just hit [ctrl] + [alt] + [del] and shut down “unwise” and “you’ve been fucked”. that’s all there is to it. no actual virus or anything, because i decided to play nice with those hacker fucks.

works best on a non-XP Windows environment with MSIE 4+.

i rule.

got a hack attempt today on terrible society. luckily, it looks like it was foiled really well. thank fuck i finally got around to upgrading my phpBB2. also, thank fuck for php-enabled URL emailing via custom 404 pages.

i think i’m going to make a special 404 just for my forum directory, because i’d like to send a little message to the insta-fucks who are trying to own the unownable. perhaps even a little self-executing little thingy. fucktards think they can fuck me, i’ll show ’em who’s BOSS. hunh!