Author: jae

tonight was so very very good, thanks to Star. thank you, shugga!

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and to anyone who i berated in another post: i’m not sorry for your lack of reasoning and/or humanity. i admit i go too far, but i have completely lost the desire to give a shit, when others around me, on the “other side,” are not willing to show humanity the same degree of respect. you know i love you, but hey- an asshole is an asshole is an asshole, right?

listen: i don’t advocate killing the stupid. i advocate ALLOWING THEM TO KILL THEMSELVES.

nobody else should ever kill anybody else. for ANY reason.

here’s the problem: we all know war is bad, right? i mean, except for you greedy fucks who want to spend your victim’s money on gasoline for your fucking SUV. so war is inherently bad, and yet… what else can we really do at this point? i mean, talking and threats can only go so far, right?

THEREIN LIES THE RUB. get used to it. it doesn’t mean that war is so god damned great, you bloodthirty barbarians. it just means that we need to put our HEADS together to come up with a better plan for next time. damn your fucking SUV. my car doesn’t run on blood, you inhuman, insolent fucks.

why doesn’t anybody just come on out and ADMIT that what the U.S. does is not spread DEMOCRACY, but spread CAP-I-TAL-ISM.

let’s face it, we only play cards with those who can match our stakes. and we NEVER, EVER play fairly.

isn’t it just HILARIOUS they way we literally just beat up smaller countries like they’re just some dumb four-eyed nerd on the playground?

isn’t it great to be the jock?

isn’t it GREAT to be the JOCK?!

ISN’T IT GREAT TO BE THE JOCK?!

huh??

America?

huh?

come on, BELLY UP, you stupid MACHO FUCKS.

i shit you not.

on CNN just now, a “survey” (montage) of protests around the world.

okay, fine.

more protests. Cairo, Mexico, Tehran, Singapore, Jordan

more protests. San Francisco (go!!), Chicago (hope flooding‘s safe if she’s out there)

and then (i shit you not),

“but in SOME places – such as Moe-Beel Alibamma – a show of support” (more heartlifting patriotic dreck from voiceover HACK)

and they show (i shit you not)

children… i am not shitting you in the slightest…

not TEENAGERS, either. kids less than NINE.

and, i hesitate before shitting you, then decide against it entirely,

it’s about fifteen little white kids with flags, behind a “we support our troops” banner (as if they even know what a “troop” is, or how to spell it!), some of them with stars & stripes face-paint (i ain’t shittin’ yeh), the boys wearing white t-shirts with their hair buzz-cut and the girls with long curly locks and pretty little white frilly sunday dressies,

and i darenot shit thee,

all of them blonde-haired and blue-eyed (and so grotesquely clean-cut you could just backhand their parents) [mean comment about backhanding the snot-noses themselves deleted]

with

and i couldn’t shit you less here, believe me,

a couple of fat-assed toothless moms in acid-washed jeans, with that hairspray-on-wet-curls Sun-in™-slash-Camaro hair, looking like they have all the combined intelligence of about a third of a Golden Retriever’s ass (the clumpy shitty part), presiding over the whole klan.

nowhere can it be said by right-hearted nor earnest People that i hath shittest thee.

i can’t believe they had to go to KIDS, poor indoctrinated little clones who don’t know any better. couldn’t they have found a more reasonable demographic to sample for their subliminal propaganda? or did they just want to pull the old emotion-grabber on idiot viewers who aren’t any more intelligent than those kids or their dumb-assed truck-drivin’ moms? methinks it’s a little of both.

i shit you not.

because HEY! how could you NOT love America after such a display of raw compassion as a “shock and awe campaign”?

i am utterly appalled by the media and the public’s desire to see this “shock and awe campaign,” which basically amounts to hundreds of massive bombs dropping all over the place. how many civilian casualties would they deem a “pleasant” number? how much blood and death would satiate these godforsaken animals? what would be a satisfying amount of brutality??!

fuck your twisted version of America, and fuck barbarous Americans. we are living in a sick, sick society… and it seems almost beyond our capability to fix things. what in the hell has happened to ideals and enlightenment? where is this “Great Society”?!

first ran into this one around 1995 or so. my friend Pawrl introduced me to this Dayton band when i lived in J-ville, FL.

i have not been the same since.

Guided By Voices
“hot freaks” (from Bee Thousand)

i met a non-dairy creamer
explicitly laid out like a fruitcake
with a wet spot
bigger than a great lake
took me to the new church
and baptized me with salt
she told me, “liquor”
i     am     a     new     man!

hot freaks!

this one is on the house
this one is better than ever

i walked into the house of miraculous recovery
and stood before king everything
and he asked me to join him in the red wing
took me to pie land
said, “i’m a thigh man”
i will be eternally hateful

hot freaks!
haaaaawwwwt FREAKS!
hot freaks!

this one is on the house
this one is better than ever
and this one is on the house
this one is better than ever
this one is on the house
this one is better than ever

awwwwww…. right now, at this very moment, Congress Dems and Repubs are kissing each other!
full-on Freedom™ kisses, too, fer chrissakes!
wouldja lookit that! lookit ’em go!
hey, Congress, don’t break yer arms patting yerselves on the back so hard!

welll…
i’d like to put in MY two cents, if it please yer guvnorships…

dear Congress:
FUCK YOU.

taking my grandfather to the hospital… difficulty breathing, weakness, and fatigue.

“President” Bush will address the nation at approx. 10:15pm EST tonight. the war has begun.

up all night again. just finished “reading” a UK edition of John Lennon – Unseen Archives, a bloated photo collection my dad gave me recently.

hearing Julian’s Valotte in my head, thinking about girls and what might have been.

also been thinking about my kid sister Karma, and wondering what she looks like now, where she is, and if i’ll ever get to meet her. all i ever really wanted in life was a sister. when i’m all alone in the world like i am these days, i scream her name out in my heart… and listen to the empty, lifeless echoes.

think today might be a day to write a new song.

p.s., when i said i’d be away, i think i meant emotionally. i still have to write things out of me. i’m not planning on having any sort of personal contact with the outside world for awhile. maybe i should check into a hospital… but with no insurance, that’s an impossibility.

for those of you who may find yourselves confused and asking the same question over and over again (“How much should i be Panicking for Freedom™ right now?”), this handy chart is for you. you may print it out, cut along the dotted line, and hang upon all walls.
NOT to be distributed to foreigners, people with funny accents, or those of inferior racial makeup.

KILL THE EVIL AND UNPATRIOTIC PEACENIKS!!!

dispatch.co.za/2003/03/18/foreign/APEACE.HTM
littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=5858_American_Human_Shield_Killed_in_Gaza
story.news.yahoo.com/news?g=events/wl/031603corrie&tmpl=sl&e=1
seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/134654821_protester17m.html

keep failing me, World. keep failing me.

inhumanity is pushing me ever farther towards taking up the Weapons of Love against those who would continue the cycle of hatred.

one day i will thrust my Revenge of Love (RofL) upon you all.

. . .

with a couple dozen people, and maybe a million dollars, we could have a World Tour of Love… all 6+ BILLION people on this planet could get a good long warm loving hug, all within one or two years work.

i’m debating whether the ones who refuse the hugs should be shot on site. we don’t need any more people like that any more. no, but… then what? banish them to an island? i have to admit, as much as i try to be loving and peaceful, if i ever found myself alone with a thug like Saddam Hussein, i would forcibly remove his eyes and throat with my bare hands, if at all possible. i have never once claimed not to be a giant fucking gob of hypocrisy.

somebody with good business sense/organizational skills please tell me that this is entirely possible. i know it has to be possible. Love needs a new emissary, a gaggle of delegates on a mission from space to shine down Light upon the foreheads of the mad and the raw.

oh, SHIT! from subgenius.com/updates:

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March 20-23 WINTERSTAR Symposium
Devival with Rev. Ivan Stang, ESO Space Jam
Atwood Lake Resort, Dellroy, Ohio

“This four-day event offers a unique opportunity to experience spiritual growth and good company in luxury-resort surroundings. It features a “village” of fully equipped cottages, free access to resort amenities (including indoor pool, spa and sauna), and top-name presenters discussing Magickal, Social, New Age, Consciousness Exploration, Health-Oriented, and Political issues with Drumming, Dancing, and Chanting workshops, Slide and Video presentations, Films, Rituals, Parties, and Musical performances.” That’s their generic blurb.

The famous hippie guest this year is Wavy Gravy (a great SubSymp who puts out very lively show). These events are like a much smaller, indoor version of Starwood, crossed with an sf con, but more New Agey/pagan-y. Don’t worry though, you can hang out in the cabins like we do, instead of attending workshops. The ESO Space Jam Cabin, for instance, stays open most Winterstars all night long for two nights. Our friends with the Cult of the Living Bull do their thing all night likewise, in another cabin. Winterstar is a worthwhile social event for many Yankee SubGenii.

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The Discordians: Hail Bob. Fnord.

Which Illuminati are you?
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i wish for peace!

i dreamed we were fucking.
it was slow and – my god! –
it was beautiful.

well, MSNBC is squelching Dayton‘s favorite son and has begun hiring über-conservatives. thank our Heavenly Father that this country’s overly-liberal media is finally learning that we are SICK AND TIRED of all the liberal bullshit on the tee-vee. but our homeland War on Terror must not end there! we must act together, and QUICKLY, to overcome this insidious liberal threat!

do we really want our sons and daughters to grow up with that silly, outdated 1st Amendment? i tell you it is unjust that we should have to listen to one more god-damned hollywood pinhead braying about all this “peace” crap! now is our Hour! our manifest Destiny awaits! it is finally time for the Just to overcome the Weak and tyrannize the whole World with a new Holy Empire!!

* the preceding has been a bitter and caustic excercise in extreme sarcasm

saturday? why no, jeremy, i’m not doing anything this saturday.

not because you just should anyway, but because you honestly really want to.

and wear that thing we talked about. you know the one.