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must not shit dear readers… must not shit dear readers… must not shit dear readers…

i shit you not.

on CNN just now, a “survey” (montage) of protests around the world.

okay, fine.

more protests. Cairo, Mexico, Tehran, Singapore, Jordan

more protests. San Francisco (go!!), Chicago (hope flooding‘s safe if she’s out there)

and then (i shit you not),

“but in SOME places – such as Moe-Beel Alibamma – a show of support” (more heartlifting patriotic dreck from voiceover HACK)

and they show (i shit you not)

children… i am not shitting you in the slightest…

not TEENAGERS, either. kids less than NINE.

and, i hesitate before shitting you, then decide against it entirely,

it’s about fifteen little white kids with flags, behind a “we support our troops” banner (as if they even know what a “troop” is, or how to spell it!), some of them with stars & stripes face-paint (i ain’t shittin’ yeh), the boys wearing white t-shirts with their hair buzz-cut and the girls with long curly locks and pretty little white frilly sunday dressies,

and i darenot shit thee,

all of them blonde-haired and blue-eyed (and so grotesquely clean-cut you could just backhand their parents) [mean comment about backhanding the snot-noses themselves deleted]

with

and i couldn’t shit you less here, believe me,

a couple of fat-assed toothless moms in acid-washed jeans, with that hairspray-on-wet-curls Sun-in™-slash-Camaro hair, looking like they have all the combined intelligence of about a third of a Golden Retriever’s ass (the clumpy shitty part), presiding over the whole klan.

nowhere can it be said by right-hearted nor earnest People that i hath shittest thee.

i can’t believe they had to go to KIDS, poor indoctrinated little clones who don’t know any better. couldn’t they have found a more reasonable demographic to sample for their subliminal propaganda? or did they just want to pull the old emotion-grabber on idiot viewers who aren’t any more intelligent than those kids or their dumb-assed truck-drivin’ moms? methinks it’s a little of both.

i shit you not.

By jae

jae lethe (he/she/they) is a blogger, musician, artist, poet, web developer/designer, armchair philosophizer, teller of tales, and gadabout. Also, something he calls a "behavioral artist." (Not sure.) She has plans. BIG plans.

Among the things that he has done for a laugh are minor fractures, cuts, scrapes, and various scabs. Though she's quick to point out that they're no imbecile, we're fairly certain that he thinks the word means some kind of medieval pharmacist.

This is her latest home on teh internets - where jae stores their swear words, when they're not hurling them at the sun in vain.