transmothrajae lethe (he/she/they) is a blogger, musician, artist, poet, web developer/designer, armchair philosophizer, teller of tales, and gadabout. Also, something he calls a "behavioral artist." (Not sure.) She has plans. BIG plans.
Among the things that he has done for a laugh are minor fractures, cuts, scrapes, and various scabs. Though she's quick to point out that they're no imbecile, we're fairly certain that he thinks the word means some kind of medieval pharmacist.
This is her latest home on teh internets - where jae stores their swear words, when they're not hurling them at the sun in vain.
i’ve moved about 90% of my home studio to Holly’s. but there is not enough space here. i need more room. not just for my things, but for my self. i need, ahem, blossoming room. just physical space, and maybe a few hours a week (at best) to myself. otherwise, it’s great to overlap my life with Holly’s in so richly emotional a manner. we have tremendous fun. i don’t need more from her, i just need a bigger living space with less neighbors (but better soundproofing would do too).
what schools really need is a moment of SCIENCE.
so i got a drive enclosure. i’m going to upload all of my important media stuff from my relatively program-free D: drive to Holly’s PC, then start afresh with a brand new install of XP, and try to see if i can get the bugger flopping again.
anext, i’ll make backups more often, and keep my C drive clean as a whistle. once we get us a router, ol’ jer will be back in town.
5’oclock Computers rules.
i may be fixing my computer (actually Travis’ old gaming rig) this weekend. cross your ribbon cables for me.
i live with the most entertaining, witty, intelligent, and sexeh lil’ thang on the planet.
just thought i’d gloat a little bit. mwee hee hee!
seriously, i laughed myself into a convulsive goddamn FIT tonight. crazy fucking evil bitch is trying to kill me! i choked, i had a heart attack, i practically keeled over!
sigh… :) i’m in love with my kooky ravenhaired girl.
| You are a Social Liberal (81% permissive) and an… Economic Liberal (18% permissive) You are best described as a:
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gave my $10 to the Red Cross. i would encourage anyone else to do the same, when you get that extra $10. if only everyone could give just a damn dollar each to a few good organizations, we really could help to straighten a lot of shit out.
apathy & cynicism are species-killers. never mind that humans deserve extinction. we CAN undeserve it, if we just do a little something here and there to help each other out.
Hitchhiker’s Guide DVD not bad (Thanks Hol!). not as many extras as you might expect. 2 commentary tracks and the formerly absent guide entry on Babel Fish vs. God make it WELL worth it, though. re-watching it brings back one small horrible memory in a long line of small, horrible memories from these last 2 years. far worse, it makes me wonder why they had to go and Disnefy Hitchhiker’s. so many things i would have done differently. the cast was fine, but the acting and a good chunk of the script could have been quirkier & less annoyingly… wholesome.
Holly got a new eMachine. looks pretty rad for $500. i’m itching to get Travis’ old gaming rig going again. i better make them medical payments & get my car looked at, though. i’m in training from 8-4:30 for the next 3 weeks, though.
i miss my music terribly. i need to work on it some more. there’s just not enough time in the day. and it’s all back at the old apartment.
i love to strip down for a shower & smell my gorgeous lover on me.
tomorrow night. Oregon District Do-over.
i start training for a new job at work on monday. third shift (ugh), but my hours are concurrent with Holly’s. our days off are totally different, though. that sucks ass. at least i’ll have Fri-Sat off. thank fuck for the weekend getaway program.
i’ll be doing both Victoria’s Secret and Bath & Body Works internet support. mind ya, it’s just glorified customer service. well, not really glorified. i answer phones and e-mails. someday i’ll tell you about some of the types of queries that we get from time to time.
Firefox, it’s good to see you again, old buddy.
Hol, i sorted our links into his & hers. there’s some tooltips on the icons, so hover yer mouse over for more cool internet toys. i got all the coolest extensions installed. the bottom toolbar is for MySpace. there’s some sweet context menus (right click) for stuff, too. don’t be afraid, honey… the ‘Fox will be gentle with you…
p.s., there’s a folder just for you under My Documents ;)
sex sex sex sex sex sex SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX… SEX… SEX… SE-
OoooOoooOoooOooooooooh…
mmmmm.
(amended & updated 4:30pm)
erg. money has been so tight lately. i still haven’t gotten to make payments on my medical bills. my last 3 paychecks have been all but spent within the first 24 hours, leaving me with vast sums like $30 to live on for 2 weeks. and me with my gas guzzling rusting old about-to-break-down Dodge and gas here at $3.20 a gallon (the Dart will only drink pure jet fuel as anything less will choke its poor little throat & cause sputtering that no amount of carburetor-polishing will cure).
and it doesn’t help that i have taken every last minute of voluntary time off they’ve been offering lately. i’ve been trading work (& thus bank) for time with my wondergirl.
(gone back to smoking. i couldn’t afford to do the patch AND smoke the nic-free stuff. soon as i can, though, i’m back aboard the Quest train.)
and Katrina… god i want to do something for the hurricane victims, but i’m just so flat broke & have no foreseeable amnesty against my swelling bills. i do hope that all who can are doing something. that whole thing down there is just so utterly heartbreaking. especially with the death & crime & destruction & loss & hunger & extreme poverty & the horrible marshall law atmosphere. and god DAMN!, humans are so pathetic & cursed & terrible & cruel. & life is so precious.
Hol & i are soon-ish-ly going to be looking for a small house, as her apartment is great & has a beautiful view of the woods in back, but is too small, and we are too encroached upon for me to feel comfortable due to my unfounded proclivity for warbling savagely into microphones. i’m honestly a terrible, terrible singer who can almost NEVER hit pitch (though i can tune my guitar from memory; if you play me a reference tone i can tune it nearly perfectly a half hour later). but i have to be loud or it’s just mumbling and i can’t sustain a note very well at low volume. plus, i just have so much stuff. mostly books, CDs, shelves, guitars, music gear, clothes. i hate to lose this apartment, but it’s really gonna get cramped when i finally get my stuff all moved in.
a small, cheap house with a basement in a cheap (& close to work) but not terrible part of Bellbrook/Centerville/Kettering. that’s the way to go. room for creativity. space for thought & freedom of movement. space for loud music. space for loud, wild, wet, perverted, degenerate (but very loving) adult sex marathons.
i’ve never felt so free with anyone before. we are both very open & free with our bodies. we’re very compatible, especially size-wise (some of you, ahem, canines know what i’m talking about here). the other day i had my first serious dealings with something called a G-spot. wow, is that ever a good thing! and here i honestly thought it was only a myth. of late i’ve been enjoying the many delights of a woman.
i can’t wait until this weekend. we’re going to buy weird toys. we’re going to dress in leather & fuck like goddamn enemies. wheee!
i think tonight we’re going to try the Duschefragen Method. it’s something like the fabled Butterfly Technique, done with warm gravy, an eggbeater, a dead goat, & rubber lederhosen, but also with more Bohrgerät motion and the last three pivots of the EDM (Ecstatic Dingo Maneuver) thrown in for good measure. sort of a live-action Hentai, sans blood & guts & tentacles!
i always knew girls were wonderful, but i had either forgotten, or just never knew they could be so incredibly, amazingly wonderful.
i think i have previously gone through life making bad, rash decisions. i fell in love much too easily. and with people who were mostly great, wonderful people, but not necessarily the right ones for me. i came closest with Ria, who i wish well. my most recent relationship was a glorified affair, a too-long pipe dream with a fucked up teenage brat in adult’s clothing (i do wish her wellness, though). i never knew Monica well enough, though we had fun together.
Holly is a dream come true. most people don’t get to find that One True Thing. i’m only 33 11/12 years old, and i’m fortunate enough to have kept a close relationship with the one i knew i’d be with someday… i knew we had a terrific chemistry, but i now know that we are two halves of a whole. we are justifiably happy and whole and we spark and we have such funny fun. i love her dearly, and for the first time ever, i know truly that she loves me. she is so devoted and kind.
it seems to me that someone like her would be about perfect for anybody. she’s hilarious (such a tight, quick wit), intelligent (just a genius; so creative, and a wonderful writer), down to earth (she’s so easy to get along with, and even when we disagree here and there it’s just casual, no big deal at all), and so beautiful. she’s incredibly sexy, too. i could go on and on about her eyes (so deep and green and rich with soul), her lips (so tender and soft), her hair (never ever saw a woman with a more glorious sexy wavy shoulder-length mane of night-black hair in my life), her curves (so dangerous when she shake dem hips) …talk about multitasking. crimony!
it’s her personality that just kills me. she is absolutely hilarious and goofy and fun, but also so sweet and sensitive and caring.
i am a sucker for goofy. i admit it, here and now. that’s what i like best. she’s such a fucking goofball. you can tell she was raised by hilarious but kind parents.
and she’s my hero. she is the strongest woman i have ever met. Ria was tough (last i knew she was working for the Peace Corps in Mali, after having lived for many years overseas, making her own life). but Holly has been through so much, a great deal of it terrifying to most mortals. it would scare you to know (it still frightens me to death). but she’s come back victorious like some proud lion of a warrior from an endless war. her strength is beyond capturing in simple words. i never knew a human being could be so tough. it kills me that she’s this sweet, gentle girl most of the time. she has virtually slaughtered her pain, conquered human fear, vanquished negativity from her life. it would be impossible for any man to not be happy around someone capable of such positivity, who has seen darkness in daylight. she is built of sunshine.
and she is my Sun (and Moon, and Stars), and i am happy to be her twinkling little world. i face her with darkness at my back and her light filling my eyes and giving me life.
she has revived me, changed my life, and i am finally healed of my own pain through her.
i’m at my comic angel’s house. i’ve barely even seen my apartment in a couple weeks now. we’re watching LOTR & getting drunk for her birthday.
the plan was that we’d go to the Oregon District tonite and play out a little fantasy. see, last time we were there i was taken, and we had such a great time together, but we couldn’t BE together. so we were going to pretend like things were different and do it up the way we wished it would have gone. but as it turns out, i lost too much money to overdraft fees, despite desperately closing out my savings account at NC Fed & depositing into my National City account (BAD bad timing).
confession time: i met the love of my life at the interview for the evil temp job Lisa made me get just before we started living together. we were fast friends soon afterwards. we flirted on the job. we fell in love. but i was taken, and i wanted to make things work with the girl i was with, even though i knew, and all my friends knew, that it just couldn’t have worked. i tried for a year and a half, then started to give up hope due to lots of emotional trauma this summer. then Lisa stuck the BIG knife in. but it’s ok, because it was the best thing for both of us, ultimately. she and i are far happier now, although we pretty much hate each other. i mean, wouldn’t you?
i will never have sex with anyone under 30 again. my. god. in fact, i’m real fucking certain that Hol and i are the Real Deal for sure. we’re totally in love and happier than either of us has ever been in our entire lives. (i am so serious, this is just so real and so indescribably amazing and loving and beautiful.)
O!, she’s my armour, my sword, and my sheath. we are warriors together. this journey is to the end.
listen to this: we are not just serious about Each Other, we’re GOOFY about Each Other.
Holly tells me *constantly* that i am “beautiful” and that she loves me and so many other really sweet and wonderful things, and her face gets all sweet and her eyes are so dilated and i can tell she really means it. she’s just the best. she is the boss of me. she is a dream lover. we’re so passionate about each other. i couldn’t have wished for something more incredible to happen. i would be waiting for the other shoe to drop, but neither one of us can sense any sort of potential negativity at all. i’ve never felt more together or more healthy. i’m afraid this might affect my art! i’ll just have to work harder ;)
[i think the ex may be talking shit about us at work or something. all i know is that there have been “rumors” going around from day ONE, and they’re not incredibly accurate ones. basically, it goes like this: Lisa and i break up, then i start going out with Holly. big deal. but it’s made to sound like she’s a homewrecker and i’m a leaver. like i didn’t do my very best to be a good boy. Holly was really really good, too (even when she wasn’t happy, up until she couldn’t keep being unhappy anymore). we were both incredibly good. it’s just that things happened (somebody [who is not me] fucks somebody [who is ALSO not me]), and things got ugly (kicked her ass straight out of my life), and now things are the way they should have been all along.]
i really, really, really, really, REALLY love you kids. now go listen to the Cocker Spaniels, have a terrrific weekend, and swear to me that you’re gonna love somebody today and every day for the rest of your life – even if it’s just yourself.
fuckity hell, i feel an overdraft comin’ on.
I am in such a beautiful & loving & fun & HEALTHY relationship! We’re so in love! (OMG she’s fantastic)
Squeeeee!
Am in love & everything = wonderful. 2 yrs good (but pining) pals. Its so right.
:) x10
at grandpa’s:
i’m dating a great friend who i’ve known & worked with for a couple years now. we’re SOOOOO happy together. i feel terrible re: her previous boyfriend (there was NO overlap, but things did happen one after the other). the guilt is great but the pleasure is deep, my friends. we have so much in common & we’ve never argued about anything & we lift each other up & she’s my holy angel (soft downy feathers glowing bright whitely, wings dipping lovingly into the dung of our maya-veiled world) sent from nirvana to teach me how to be a bodhisattva.
no, people, it’s different. it’s not reboundy at all, it’s very very deep and sweetly loving and i foresee a wide open longly vast future. she’s so funny & smart & beautiful & good & been through so much & come out so level. i admit that i love being sad, and it’ll be sad to NOT be sad, so even THAT works out. all is reciprocal and infinite and harmonious.
i’m not mad at Lisa any more. i don’t like her personally, but i’m not mad. she did what she had to do to make herself happier, just like any truly strong woman does. props & peace to her.
the music’s going good, too. i’ve finally got “deghost” done up like i want it. other things are coming together. et cetera.
til next time, kids: do good by others, and do good by yourself. be loving, and spread happiness. be freaky in public, too.
I cant wait to get all these goddamn idiotic “sensitive” songs all done so i can fukken RAWK.
Dyin’ here!
Mixing fresh, human-based music is a very, very fine art.i need a cigarette.
Added filtery Juno bass & lush synth pad to “deghost” – adding phased guitar next. It’s filling in nicely!
