someday soon i will use the word “butterfly” and MEAN it…

i’m at my comic angel’s house. i’ve barely even seen my apartment in a couple weeks now. we’re watching LOTR & getting drunk for her birthday.

the plan was that we’d go to the Oregon District tonite and play out a little fantasy. see, last time we were there i was taken, and we had such a great time together, but we couldn’t BE together. so we were going to pretend like things were different and do it up the way we wished it would have gone. but as it turns out, i lost too much money to overdraft fees, despite desperately closing out my savings account at NC Fed & depositing into my National City account (BAD bad timing).

confession time: i met the love of my life at the interview for the evil temp job Lisa made me get just before we started living together. we were fast friends soon afterwards. we flirted on the job. we fell in love. but i was taken, and i wanted to make things work with the girl i was with, even though i knew, and all my friends knew, that it just couldn’t have worked. i tried for a year and a half, then started to give up hope due to lots of emotional trauma this summer. then Lisa stuck the BIG knife in. but it’s ok, because it was the best thing for both of us, ultimately. she and i are far happier now, although we pretty much hate each other. i mean, wouldn’t you?

i will never have sex with anyone under 30 again. my. god. in fact, i’m real fucking certain that Hol and i are the Real Deal for sure. we’re totally in love and happier than either of us has ever been in our entire lives. (i am so serious, this is just so real and so indescribably amazing and loving and beautiful.)

O!, she’s my armour, my sword, and my sheath. we are warriors together. this journey is to the end.

listen to this: we are not just serious about Each Other, we’re GOOFY about Each Other.

Holly tells me *constantly* that i am “beautiful” and that she loves me and so many other really sweet and wonderful things, and her face gets all sweet and her eyes are so dilated and i can tell she really means it. she’s just the best. she is the boss of me. she is a dream lover. we’re so passionate about each other. i couldn’t have wished for something more incredible to happen. i would be waiting for the other shoe to drop, but neither one of us can sense any sort of potential negativity at all. i’ve never felt more together or more healthy. i’m afraid this might affect my art! i’ll just have to work harder ;)

[i think the ex may be talking shit about us at work or something. all i know is that there have been “rumors” going around from day ONE, and they’re not incredibly accurate ones. basically, it goes like this: Lisa and i break up, then i start going out with Holly. big deal. but it’s made to sound like she’s a homewrecker and i’m a leaver. like i didn’t do my very best to be a good boy. Holly was really really good, too (even when she wasn’t happy, up until she couldn’t keep being unhappy anymore). we were both incredibly good. it’s just that things happened (somebody [who is not me] fucks somebody [who is ALSO not me]), and things got ugly (kicked her ass straight out of my life), and now things are the way they should have been all along.]

i really, really, really, really, REALLY love you kids. now go listen to the Cocker Spaniels, have a terrrific weekend, and swear to me that you’re gonna love somebody today and every day for the rest of your life – even if it’s just yourself.