Author: jae

you know you’re a codegeek when you find yourself voraciously reading the latest XHTML 2.0 working draft at 1am on a friday night.

css Zen Garden
Daily CSS Fun
Hiveware’s Image Rotator (freeware)
brought to you by Master Zeldman.

ganked from tyrsalvia

best.quiz.EVAR.

Your Q Score is: 11

The Q score ideally should be as small as possible, indicating maximum
agreement among elements. However, even a tiny Q score may not mean
optimal functioning, since all four elements may in fact be relatively
undeveloped.

Your Primary Mythical Creature

Water Types

The main strength of the Water types is feeling. The second element
indicates the most probable focus for this emotional expression.

Your Shadow Creature

Earth Types

All the Earth types have problems relating to productivity and
stability. The weakest element indicates the main focus of these
problems.

wow, that was spot-on….

that movie i got the other day? Simple Men? SUCKED. i haven’t even watched the last half yet. fuck it. that movie just plain sucks ass big time. awful acting, in fact it’s more like pretending coupled with line recital. even at just $2, i feel very, very ripped off. what a horrible, pitiful movie. i mean it is just terrible. everything about it just reeks of suckness. or suckosity, i forget which.

also:

i’m going to get an exacto knife for my finger. i’m not sure what i’m going to do, but i’ve got to do it. i don’t think i’m going to do anything drastic, like amputate it (after all, i AM a musician, and a guitar player at that – and with my luck, i’d just have phantom pain anyhow). but i want to dig.

stay away from green beans, kids. you don’t want that uric acid building up and giving you gout. trust me, there is nothing more painful than gout. there have been many, many occasions when the pain was so great that my heart palpitated, and i would have done anything –anything!, i tell you!- to stop it. on a pain scale of 1 to 10, i’d say i’ve hit 23 on at least 55 occasions.

when the weather changes
when the seasons change
when it gets colder, or hotter
when the humidity changes
when it’s wet, and the water is not perfectly room temperature
when my pulse rate goes up
when i sneeze
when i run or exert myself
when something touches it just a tad too hard

these are the occasions when i have to sit down in silence, because even thinking or talking or listening or moving or standing hurts like hell. sometimes it goes all the way up my arm and even into my chest.

the pain ranges from dull achey throbs to constant aching, to sharp spikes, to constant dullishly sharp knifing hell. the worst parts range in frequency from one or two times a month to several times a day, depending on the above factors. it lasts for several minutes during peaks, or hours and even days during periods of aching and/or throbbing.

i’ve described one version of the pain before as this:
it’s like having a new and awful compound fracture in the bone of the last segment of the finger, and then slamming it in a metal door jamb.

sometimes, it just feels like i’ve been stabbed straight through the flesh and the bone with a butter knife.

DEBILITATING is much too gentle a word.

what’s hilarious is that inevitably there are probably many people who think that it’s either “all in my head” or that i’m just lying or something; that it’s somehow not real because they’ve never really seen me during a serious attack. and most of the time, depending on the weather mainly, i’m pretty much fine. i mean, i can interact and stuff, i just can’t exert myself much. so you’d never even know it unless you saw me at a particularly bad time.

just one of many reasons why i want to give up. i live for making music, absolutely NEED to make music; and since i can’t do that at just any old time that i feel like it, i just have to swallow the sheer horror of having my life’s very purpose taken away.

do you know that i have trained myself to play pretty good guitar with just my first two fingers, and sometimes even my pinky? sometimes i even use gouty-finger, but not very often at all. i should be immediately declared a guitar god, or at least the next Django Reinhardt.

i have performed minor surgery on myself before. nothing like digging into the core of a digit or anything. but this lump of hell must go or else.

i went to a doctor once, over ten years ago now. he took a battery of tests, including MRIs and X-rays, and when nothing came up (nothing showed, even though there is a visible lump in the side of the end segment of my #3 finger and i no longer have a fucking fingerprint and you can see the veins through very translucent skin), he declared that i must have tendonitis. i was supposed to have EGS – electro-galvanic stimulation – which consists of sticking your arm into a water-filled stainless steel bathtub and then plugging the whole fucking mess into a wall outlet and sitting there like that for a half an hour. i never went back for a second visit. i could hardly even drive myself home that day.

i don’t want to be alone… i just prefer it.

---

it looks like, after  spending  wasting two days just looking at the code and fucking around with it here and there, that i’m just going to have to break down the menu system in mars s.t.s. and do it over with dynamic code – one structure as vertical, one as horizontal, and then just use variables i guess for the menu contents, to keep it fairly simple for users.

the problem? the thing that’s given me such a godawful headache? nested fookin’ lists. never, EVER use nested lists if you plan on making any changes in the future (such as, oh, say… going inline).

>THIS< is the reason why i say to you that Jackie Corley (a.k.a. crazyjackie) is the most important American writer of the 21st Century. go and see for yourselves.

-clean out car.
-fix car fer chrissakes!
-find better work, or more of it.
-get Eraserhead DVD from someplace.
-fix that damn touristbureau skin already!
-leave house, see sun (do not look directly at).
-deposit april paycheck from tlmboosters.com work.
-fix myriad of broken links generated by sloppy transmothra.com sitever. transition
-fix all the other stuff i screwed up on that site; make XHTML-compliant.
-induce orgasm. doesn’t matter who.
-say something positive for once.
-think of something interesting.
-be funny at some point.
-create something.

i fell asleep tonight watching PBS. some speculatory documentary about what if Hitler had won this and that?, and then woke up to that pansy-assed motherfucker Josh “I’m the male Celine Dion” Somethingorother. fuck that twerp. i felt all testo and wanted to go and kick his ass for being such a fucking dumbshit with all his stupid contrived ballads. i still want to kick his ass now. just shove my electric fuzz machine right down his pretty little golden throat, plug him into my amp, and make him scream.

jesus. i hope that didn’t sound as gay as it, in fact, DID. even i’m not nancy enough for that nancy. pooffy wanker!

i HATE singers who don’t play an instrument. they should all be rounded up and locked in a karaoke bar together. they’re no good at all. they do nothing for Art. yes, lock them all up together and let them get all creepy and tribal and Lord of the Flies when they realize that they can’t actually write songs anymore because none of them know how to make a chord or how to accompany themselves or each other on anything. let them go crazed and feral and start killing themselves off and going cannibal and wild.

the winner – the last one alive – gets free piano lessons. and a serious beating.

LEARN AN INSTRUMENT OR GET OFF MY FUCKING RADIO.

the next time i hear about some fizzy little “I’m a singer!“-type who claims to have written a “song” (in actuality, lyrics, but go figure, no music), i am going to go feral on them my DAMN self.

i generalise, yes. it’s what i do. no disclaimers. fuck off if you’re offended, karaoke-person or -persons!

the most amazing writer in the universe is now on LJ.

suh. weet!

jesus fookin’ chreest this is hilarious! goinked from mistressxenobia.

1) took a nap for a couple hours in the afternoon, and then went on a drive. no idea if anyone from OCA ever came by, though later saw someone out front while getting dressed after a shower. meh.
2) am world’s coolest motorist; i make Nigel Tufnel faces whilst visibly jammin’ to the J5.
3) spent a lot of money on hair products today. mainly that Frizz-ease crap.
4) also got 4 used VHS tapes at Max’s: Simple Men, Romeo + Juliet (i maintain it was an extraordinary production… and it’s got John Leguizamo!), Wonder Boys, and Vincent & Theo.
5) and got Time’s 2003 almanac, and the latest Scientific American. will soon commence to having massive spine-quivering geekgasm. am dork.

1) actually working on fixing the touristbureau skin for mars s.t.s.. after i get it working nicely, i’ll have all the tools i need to keep going and going until i have a pretty farkin’ cool thing here.
2) Star said (in her LJ that is… we haven’t communicated directly since yadda yadda yadda you know the routine by now) that she’d be here… in this very town… tomorrow… canvassing for Ohio Citizen Action. she also said she wanted me to write a letter of some sort, and was going to post details tonight. i don’t know if i really have the energy to write a letter on the spot. had she actually posted those details, then i prolly woulda. but as it is, i just don’t have the energy to do things that i want to do… for ME… much less to do something that i want to do for somebody else. anyway, i’m not sure if i want to be home tomorrow or not. i’m just not sure. there’s statistically not a great chance that she’ll be the one knocking at my door, but if she has a choice in the matter, then it might be better than 50%.
…and what happens if i am here and it’s HER knocking at the door???
3) i forgot what this one was. oh well, back to work.

YES!! all three councilpersons were OUSTED!!!

oh, SHIT!!!!

i voted today. the issues were whether to let Darryl Bauer, Robert Horrocks, Jr. (a former newspaper boy and possibly the youngest – and most ridiculously stupid – mayor this city ever had), and Lee Weaver remain city councilpersons. i voted NO NO NO. get those retarded bumfucks out of here PRONTO! especially the newspaper boy! burn that fat bastard! they’re part of the problem.

i wanted Bob off the council anyway.

i know nothing about the other two, but i figure that in a city which is illegally in debt to the tune of over half a million clams, if the issue has come up at all, then there IS a problem. and if the other two were in any way at all connected with, or in the same general ethical category of that D-grade moron Horrocks, then they deserve to get thrown out as well.

i knew i was right when Bauer walked in after us to vote. i had to bite my tongue so as not to get arrested. he declared himself Republican, and i knew i voted correctly after all. he had a thick midsection fattened up by affluence, too. you can always tell whether fat is due to gluttony, because it’s never proportioned well. GOOD fat people are usually thick all over, but this fat bastard looked like a walking egg. it helped to see him wearing golfing regalia (a disturbingly bright green shirt anyway), as that’s a sure sign of fucktardedness also.

(believe me, i have no problem with fat people (& whether you believe me or not is your own deal; i’m sure i lost several people over my words, and if so, then someone just didn’t get my point) – it’s gluttons i can’t stand. burn the fat from those rich weasel-pigs at once! eat the rich! scum-sucking pricks!)

i just hope that more than 30 people turned out. and that most turned out to vote these stupid greedheads out of town. i hope that today will go down as a glorious, victorious day in the history of New Carlisle, Ohio.

oh, and i found out that the city manager (or was it the mayor?) makes $80k/year. that is WRONG. no mayor or manager anywhere should make one dollar more than the average citizen of her/his/its town.

saw X2 today.

---

so there are two Wolverines, see? and you won’t even KNOW it until they battle, even though you actually DO see the OTHER Wolverine all the way throughout the movie. actually not another Wolvie. you’ll see.

and Jean Grey was killed, only really she wasn’t, because see she’s been going through a lotta conflicting emotions, and she’s about to reemerge in the next movie (the classic story arc i most wanted to see, besides of course the obvious Wolvie-losing-his-adamantium-skeleton) as Phoenix, who will soon enough be a bad girl. she’ll stay bad for many, many issues of the comic, only in X3 it’ll only take about 88 minutes to get her back (and she’ll just switch back to being regular non-Dark Phoenix Phoenix, and not have to go through all that nasty lunar suicide mess). it will be interesting to see whether or not they have the Avengers and the F4 find her body like in the comics. her death was mostly different from her comic book death (she’s actually had a few deaths now), the only similarity being that an aeronautic vehicle was involved.

oh, and Storm (the black X-woman) actually has not three, not 5ive, but 50+ lines this time!! and she does possibly the coolest stuff in the film, too! (trust me, she’s chillingly cool, no pun intended.) def. v. cool.

there’s not much stupid top-40 “modern rock” (read: corporate rock) in the soundtrack, too (even during the end credits).

Matrix trailer rocked hardcore. also Alan Moore’s League of Extraordinary Gentlemen trailer looked v. cool.

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whew! got that out of my system!

uoigh. i don’t wanna. i don’t wanna!

i hafta redo the CSS and menu files for mars s.t.s., just so i can have that new skin work like i want it to. damn! that’ll effectively render the previous version obsolete.

so i hafta remove the <li> tags and replace them with <span> tags, then make classes for every single menu item, including description/sub-items. and then define those classes in the CSS files for all 5ive previous skins.

i shoulda just stuck with 5ive. this is The Five Fingered One’s way of getting back at me.

uoigh. i don’t wanna. i don’t wanna!

here’s the problem with marijuana:

back in the olde dayes, a person could be a casual smoker. the THC levels were low enough that you could smoke a joint and have a good time, and you wouldn’t get too spaced out. a few days later, you could smoke another joint and have the same effect. wait a month, and you get the same thing. you’d never have to spend more than $30 on a bag, either, and it would last you for weeks on end.

these days, however, the power-growers have ensured that THC levels are so ridiculously high that you have to go pro, or give it up altogether. pot is no longer for those of us who prefer not to burn brain cells on an hourly basis. you have to be a team player, and you have to get high at least twice a day. otherwise, you’ll never build up the kind of sheer stamina that this shit today requires.

believe me, i LOVES the grass, but i’d rather be that hip college professor who smokes the occasional joint (say, the last weekend of every month). i don’t want to be a daily toker anymore. and i do not ever want to hang around today’s potheads anymore. they’re so freaking ridiculously burnt out that you have to repeat every single thing you say just to have a conversation, and a “normal” conversation is strictly out of the question.

why can’t i just get a dime bag, have it last for a few weeks, and get my stone on once in a while? i’m no longer interested in being a professional pot smoker. i just want to get high maybe 5-10 times a year. but nooooooo… i’d have to pay $90 on a dime, it would last a bloke like me for five years because a single hit would cremate me, and by the time i got around to that third bowl it would be all brown and stale and harsh and nasty. the shit’s just too fucking strong, man.

and when you deal in grass, you have to deal with someone who’s a TRUE professional. they spark up maybe ten times in a day (i’m not joking). they can’t understand English anymore, and only speak some funny dialect of some spaced-out moon-language, where every other word is “uh” or “wow” or “muhfuckin” or “what was I saying again?” you don’t want to get to know them too well, because they’ll be over every fucking single day either trying to get high, or trying to get you high. they live for the weed. it’s all they ever do. and usually, it’s some trust-fund baby who’s technically in college or something. they don’t have a job, they just get high all day, every day.

ask them the last time they did this, or did that. they won’t know how to even answer, because they can’t remember the last time they did anything other than “go get brownie mix” or “go to [name]’s to get stoned” or watched this movie fucked up, or played that video game fucked up.

there’s getting stoned, and there’s getting fucked up. and there’s a real good reason why they call it getting fucked up.

i remember when the highlight of the summer was the time that you got super-stoned… because it wasn’t an everyday thing to get that baked (and you could actually remember it years later). and you could actually talk (gasp!) physics with people who understood. try to explain string theory to any stupid college dork with a half a bag of really good grass in his/her blood now and all you’ll get are weird quit-tryin’-to-kill-my-buzz-with-all-that-smart-talk vibes, or, at best, some blabber-mouthed fool will try to relate to you by telling you about this one time when they were so stoned that yadda yadda yadda, or they’ll ask you if you ever noticed how the government never has an adequate explanation for Men In Black (“uh… you mean the film Men In Black?” “no, man… the movie! you ever seen it fucked up? I think it’s REAL, dude!”).

on the other hand, what the hell happened to LSD-25??? you have to wait for it to come to your state’s region, and then you have to deal with someone you don’t know, and then you have to shell out $25 for 4-5 really weak hits, because you’ll need it all to get any kind of truly psychedelic effect. and then you have to wait another year for it to come around again. by that time, your dealer has gone rock, fried his brain cells to smithereens, now carries a gun at all times, and you can’t even remember his name because you don’t want to.

god dammit! all i want is to get my mind excavated once in a while! why can’t i just get some cheap mediocre grass now and again? why can’t i find any other casual tokers anymore? why is it that you’re either on the bus, or off the bus these days? why do you practically have to sign a commitment to fry every single remaining brain cell within three years and never have an enlightening conversation again?! why do you absolutely HAVE to get high every six hours now?!?

earlier today, Matty chewed clean through the cord on my Sony headphones. the best pair i have. i know i can just splice them, but geez. just one more spliced wire and my whole life will be one big rough edit.

i just spent five minutes trying to convince a spider out in the garage that a nearby worm would make for a tasty treat. it didn’t listen to me, so i burned out its eyes with a laser pointer. survival of the fittest.

i am probably going to be questioning my validity as an artist, so will be devoting more time to physical visual art. dammit, all through K-12 i was the Class Artist, and now look at me. i haven’t got shit to show for myself except for a few mediocre paintings that are mostly years and years old. expect more self-loathing and general bitchiness.

pain in chest back. lack of sleep lately (actually, plenty of sleep but cannot get to it in good time), because of multiple possible apneatic startled wakings-up upon nearing threshold. dammit, i don’t care if it just stops, or keeps on beating; but i can’t live like this, all in-between at night.

gout giving me longsharp painful spikethrob problems. been raining. (v. long, v. loud earthshaking thunder strike earlier tonight, during otherwise mediocre storm.) down to just 2 Orudis KT (it takes 3 to have noticeably take the edge off the usually debilitating pain (often causes heart palpitation) – which i am paranoid others may think is all in my head, which is untrue. my life is a bitch.

prediction: i will saying nothing of any import for many days on end.

and where’s george_ums? and sylensio?

need to fix car, find better work, buy fairly serious digital multitrack (too many songs passing by on the wind), and fix intonation on red frankenstein guitar.

also need Robotech, Cosmos, Eraserhead DVDs. badly.

hackers STILL trying to use nonexistent formmail in my empty cgi-bin to send spam. i set up a little harmless surprise for them.

rains are back, along with thunder.

going to bed.

some people gotta lotta nerve.

i’ve been making art for longer than that jackoff has been alive. i sold (& i shit you not) my own comic strips in third grade, fer chrissakes. just ‘coz i happen to suck doesn’t make me inexperienced. i don’t even suck that much! the stuff i’ve done hasn’t been all that shabby (has it?)! jackoff.