Author: jae

jae lethe (he/she/they) is a blogger, musician, artist, poet, web developer/designer, armchair philosophizer, teller of tales, and gadabout. Also, something he calls a "behavioral artist." (Not sure.) She has plans. BIG plans.

Among the things that he has done for a laugh are minor fractures, cuts, scrapes, and various scabs. Though she's quick to point out that they're no imbecile, we're fairly certain that he thinks the word means some kind of medieval pharmacist.

This is her latest home on teh internets - where jae stores their swear words, when they're not hurling them at the sun in vain.

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uncategorized

song changes & future plans

This first bit is mainly just for my own records, so you can skip it if you like.

Today i was fucking around recording and i hit upon a chord progression i want to use to substitute for the refrain in “like we are.”

original:
||: G – D/F# – Em – Em :||     <– like the 2nd half of “Comfortably Numb” verse at half speed – hackneyed!

modified a few months ago:
||: Em/G – D/F# – Em -Em :||      <– sounds a little more refined, leaving behind Floyd for perhaps Toad the Wet Sprocket

new version:
||: Em/G – D/F# – Esus4 – E :||      <– now it’s more refined still, a bit more Coldplayey

The harmony in there is beautiful; there’s so much chromatic content when you move thru the chords. Between them, we’ve got F#, G, G#, and A (in order: G, F#, A, G#). I love the way it flows now. It’s come so far since i first wrote it, over ten years ago now.

I’m recording it now, and these changes have been a little trying. I have to go thru and re-record things all the time. I think it’ll be worth it in the end.

So my plan now is to finish this one and then kick out as many tunes as i can over the coming months. I want to have about 10-12 really good songs for a CD. not too long, and not too short.

How much would you honestly pay for a CD of my tunes? For a download? Is 45-55 minutes long enough, or too long? Any other suggestions?

I’m sort of half planning on offering each song as a free download as i record it, including tunes that may not make the final cut.

I’m really not into the business thing. I just want to share this awful noise inside my head, but i would like to make at least a couple bucks when i’m done. Cover my expenses.

On another note, i have a strange burning sensation in the tips of two fingers and the side of my right hand, plus a sore spot on my ass. In the old days, i would just ask somebody else what happened. Now i have to rely on my sober memory. And i cannot remember being scalded, or saving any kitties from raging infernos.

Categories
current events life local memories uncategorized

Quake!!!

I totally just felt an earthquake! In Dayton, Ohio! I have not experienced that since way back in the 80s!

The house vaguely shook, and i heard a slight rumble, followed by the house creaking and popping, woodly. My first thought was that we were being invaded by something [non-supernatural].

Wacky!

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quake!!!

I totally just felt an earthquake! In Dayton, Ohio! I have not experienced that since way back in the 80s!

The house vaguely shook, and i heard a slight rumble, followed by the house creaking and popping, woodly. My first thought was that we were being invaded by something [non-supernatural].

Wacky!

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uncategorized

Ben Stein: apparently, biggest idiot ever

Ben Stein, who we no doubt all know and love from his appearances on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Win Ben Stein’s Money, has made a little movie. It’s called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (my thoughts exactly), and it’s a cute little rickroll of an adventure flick with Pro-Nazi Chuck Darwin leading the hoary brigades on a fell mission of genocide and eugenics. Only problem is, it’s a big fat pig-fucking lie. Unfortunately for Mister Stein, he got all of his facts wrong. Well, nearly all, as the credits (both opening and closing) do appear to be accurate.

Here, then, is Scientific American’s John Rennie and Steve Mirsky, reporting on the pitiful, outright lies perpetrated in this ridiculous movie.

Categories
current events internets media movies uncategorized

Ben Stein: apparently, biggest idiot ever

Ben Stein, who we no doubt all know and love from his appearances on Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and Win Ben Stein’s Money, has made a little movie. It’s called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed (my thoughts exactly), and it’s a cute little rickroll of an adventure flick with Pro-Nazi Chuck Darwin leading the hoary brigades on a fell mission of genocide and eugenics. Only problem is, it’s a big fat fart-sucking lie. Unfortunately for Mister Stein, he got all of his facts wrong. Well, nearly all, as the credits (both opening and closing) do appear to be accurate.

Here, then, is Scientific American’s John Rennie and Steve Mirsky, reporting on the pitiful, outright lies perpetrated in this ridiculous movie.

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uncategorized

shots fired! shots fired!

We totally heard about 6-10 automatic handgun shots being fired in quick succession around maybe a half a block away a little bit ago.

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uncategorized

my dirty rock

  1. I’m finally really recording a good version of ‘Like We Are.’
  2. This is the song i have always described as being inspired by/sounding like The Afghan Whigs.
  3. When i first wrote it, i wasn’t really thinking about that, but that’s what it resembled when i turned around and looked and saw what i had made.
  4. It will have slightly different lyrics than those posted online. Very slightly different; just a few words have changed so it’s not as sophomoric.
  5. I can’t remember what chord I changed a few months ago, so now it’s back to its original form. It’s ten years old, so i can live with that.
  6. The new piano part I wrote is still there, but it’s buried in the mix where it should be. This is not a damn piano song. This song has hot blood.
  7. It has 30 time signature changes. I know this for a fact now.
  8. Most of it is in 6/8, but some of it is in 11/8, or 6/8+5/8.
  9. One verse that’s usually in 11/8 is, in the second verse only, in 12/8 + 11/8, or 6/8+6/8+6/8+5/8!
  10. You wouldn’t think that it did that by hearing it. It sounds pretty natural. In fact, the 12/8 part sounds like it’s got an extra beat, as opposed to the 11/8 part. As if the 12/8 part was really 13/8 or something. Yet it still works.
  11. I recorded the electric guitar with a microphone. No amp, just direct on one channel and with a mic on a second channel. The resulting sound of the mic track is thin and trebly and sounds like hell by itself, but makes the whole mix shimmer like crazy.
  12. Unfortunately, the second half of the main verse riff is too muddy and doesn’t come out very nicely :(
  13. I am punching in and out, just like i said i wouldn’t. I have to be a realist. If i kept trying to get a perfect performance, i’d die before i ever got anything finished. Everyone else does it, so i can too i guess.
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uncategorized

i got into a fight [mp3]

Dear Livejournal,

Today, i got into a fight….

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zomg im preggerz zomg!!!1!

[EDIT: i hope this isn’t too obscure a reference! I would be really seriously weirded out if i didn’t get it. Just in case, this is a parody of Thomas Beatie’s famous picture.]

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uncategorized

why is ______ a ______? [meme]

meme, via [info]pope_guilty

My username is _____ because ____.

“transmothra”

Years ago, i used to occasionally walk into a room and suddenly (sometimes belligerently) announce that i would prefer, going forward, to be known by my “real” name. This was usually met with silence, comic apprehension, and finally, the question ‘yeah, ok, what?’ Then i would proceed to proclaim that my true name was [insert something fantastic and/or utterly silly]. Then i would completely refuse to answer to any other name but that for the rest of the day, and sometimes longer, if i felt like it, feigning absolute ignorance at why anybody would yell the name “Jeremy” at me instead of my actual name.

“Hey Jeremy, wanna get that [foo] for me while I hold up the [bar]? Jeremy? JEREMY!”

“He says his name is Lord Wellesby Higgenbotham Smith-Smith-something the something-or-other”

“[exasperated but amused sigh] Higgenbotham!”

“[innocently] Mm-hm, yes?”

Around 1994 or so, i chose to have been named “Transmothra” all along, for whatever reason. These things generally just tend to pop out. Transmothra stuck, for some reason. My full name, that particular day, was determined to be Transmothra Louise Osmond.

My name is _____ because ______.

“transmothra”
i am not very clever.

My journal is titled ____ because ____.

“transmothra – signs of the collapse”
That’s my name, and my journal is, essentially, a record of my gradual and impending (mental and physical) breakdown. Singular. All things gradually go to hell, after all.

My friends page is called ____ because ____.

“disorderly conductors” (linked with the phrase “Sociopath haven”)
Any flist is chaotic, and there are many people leading the verbal frenzy. Also, it takes a certain kind of sociopathic personality, benevolent or not, to broadcast your life into cyberspace for the rest of eternity, and LJ is a haven for those of us who are just that. Plus, i like to think of my gang of friends as being a bunch of crazy damned crazies. That makes me laugh. I love all you lunatics!

My default userpic is ____ because ____.

black background, red border, grey silhouette of self
this was the general scheme of one of the previous iterations of my vain little corner of teh internets.

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uncategorized

abortion

The following is cross-posted from a comment i left on a pro-lifer’s MySpace blog entry. This will get ugly, so if you have a weak mind, skip this and go watch your god damned idiot box.

First of all, i need to state right here and now that i am a man, and that means i do not have the right to an opinion on this matter.

However, i have to wonder: is there a possibility that some abortions are performed for valid reasons? Such as to save the mother’s life? Or when the mother is unable to care for a child? Is there a possibility that the vast majority of abortions in the developed world are done when the fetus arguably has no consciousness (because the brain is not yet developed enough) and has not developed a nervous system capable of sending pain impulses to the brain?

My mother made a choice, and she made the wrong one. She let her babies live. She had no right whatsoever to have offspring. In my sister’s case, i am glad she is alive. I am, like her, lucky to have ultimately been raised by someone other than our mother. But my brother had a different story to tell. He can’t tell it now because our mother killed him, several months AFTER birth, in a drug-addled haze.

Go ahead and tell me he shouldn’t have been aborted in the first fucking place. I dare you.

I never asked to be born into this fucked up world filled with delusional idiots who think they know the opinions of a god who very probably doesn’t even exist, and who want to impose their wills on the rest of society. (I’m not speaking of anyone in particular, just the delusional idiots. They have made this world into a terrible place.) If i had known how awful this pathetic planet of retarded chimpanzees was gonna be, i would have begged to be aborted. Unfortunately, i ended up growing a central nervous system (long after conception) which no longer wants to experience death, no matter how relieving.

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uncategorized

Dayton fucking rocks

(crossposted from a comment i made in

[info]olivetree

 ‘s excellent journal)

This is not my work, but you can get a taste of awesome Dayton underground rocka-roll here. I’ve never even heard of these bands, and there are a shitload of other really great bands, too, and that’s not even mentioning our two biggest and best ones.

Categories
current events uncategorized

unholy thing

Oh my god. This creepy, unthinking mechanical thing is the precursor to the terrible things that will replace us. I, for one, welcome them with open arms.

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uncategorized

guitarism

I have always liked to tell people that when it comes to playing the guitar,

“I come from the ‘Neil Young’ school of guitar playin’: ‘if it squeals, smack it harder!‘”

however, i feel i have not grown much in the last few years as a player. Part of this is due to the excruciatingly painful tumor i had in my finger for over ten years (well DUH!), but i have to admit that this is also due to severe laziness.

Anyone who knows any Ohioans will know that we are a notoriously apathetic bunch.

Rustic bohemian aesthetic aside, I have always not-so-secretly wanted to be able to play like Prince, who is IN FACT the greatest guitar player alive. (Greatest dead guitarist? Hendrix, hands down.) I also wouldn’t mind being able to play slide like George Harrison.

This in mind, i am now teaching myself how to play the guitar.

Unfortunately, i have all the grace of a hippo, no dexterity, and was born tragically missing all but a faint vestige of left/right coordination.

However, the effect of woodshedding, when you run across a really good exercise or technique that levels up your chops, is much like Neo suddenly knowing kung fu after having jacked in – only it does take some work, after all. But, like quitting smoking, i am finding that playing faster with accuracy is a little bit easier than i had expected.

Categories
life uncategorized

changes, and nicotine slavery

When you finally get to that point where you can start to FEEL the change, the in-process reinvention of your Self becomes evident, and you realize that, in at least some respects, metaphysical or not, you are becoming truly free. You start to understand that even the chains of your own past can be lifted off and you can become someone else – who is still you but yet new, emergent, and refined.

Think about all the cells and microorganisms of your body. After a period of several years, each and every little bit of you has eventually been replaced. You are a constantly renewing fountain of change. You are not even the you that you were when you were a child. You are someone else, a replicant, and yet, you are you, just… the new you. (What makes us who we are anyway?)

Incidentally, the reason why our memories from so long ago are so cloudy and errant is that we are merely xeroxed copies of ourselves. All the atoms in your brain have been replaced or reconfigured a few times by now. It makes sense that some files are illegible or missing altogether.

As long as you are becoming anew, think about ways you can help not the process but the results.

For smokers: this thing can be beat. I am 99% of the way there myself, and i have tried and failed just like you no doubt have. Although we may never be non-smokers, it is absolutely possible – and a whole lot easier than you might think – to become an ex-smoker.

Don’t listen to anybody but your body.

Even your mind concocts labyrinthine machinations silently against you. Fear is just another formulaic and substance-deprived bestseller. Write your own middle and end, even if someone else already wrote your beginning.

Okay that last bit was a little tongue-in-cheek, but think about it even still.

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uncategorized

changes, and nicotine slavery

When you finally get to that point where you can start to FEEL the change, the in-process reinvention of your Self becomes evident, and you realize that, in at least some respects, metaphysical or not, you are becoming truly free. You start to understand that even the chains of your own past can be lifted off and you can become someone else – who is still you but yet new, emergent, and refined.

Think about all the cells and microorganisms of your body. After a period of several years, each and every little bit of you has eventually been replaced. You are a constantly renewing fountain of change. You are not even the you that you were when you were a child. You are someone else, a replicant, and yet, you are you, just… the new you. (What makes us who we are anyway?)

Incidentally, the reason why our memories from so long ago are so cloudy and errant is that we are merely xeroxed copies of ourselves. All the atoms in your brain have been replaced or reconfigured a few times by now. It makes sense that some files are illegible or missing altogether.

As long as you are becoming anew, think about ways you can help not the process but the results.

For smokers: this thing can be beat. I am 99% of the way there myself, and i have tried and failed just like you no doubt have. Although we may never be non-smokers, it is absolutely possible – and a whole lot easier than you might think – to become an ex-smoker.

Don’t listen to anybody but your body.

Even your mind concocts labyrinthine machinations silently against you. Fear is just another formulaic and substance-deprived bestseller. Write your own middle and end, even if someone else already wrote your beginning.

Okay that last bit was a little tongue-in-cheek, but think about it even still.

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uncategorized

omg i, am in, hell with, LarryR.

omg.

info: Please wait for a HostGator operator to respond.
info: Welcome to HostGator Live Chat! You are now chatting with ‘Larry R.’
Larry R.: Welcome to HostGator, how may I assist you?
jeremy: hi, i was just wondering…
jeremy: in Cpanel, under Mail, when i manage mail, it has a link to show disk usage….
jeremy: however, a few of my accounts are full or nearing full, and yet i cannot for the life of me find any of this mail
jeremy: i have checked in all three webmail apps, and in spam, trash, inbox folders, sent mail, drafts, and i cannot find where all this mail exists.
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: What is the primary domain name on the account please?
jeremy: jeremyjarratt.com
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: Please wait while I check.
Larry R.: You would need to set the accounts, disk space in your whm.
Larry R.: Set the disk space limit*
jeremy: yeah, i have 20MB quotas on most of them
jeremy: including all of the ones in question
Larry R.: Try, setting to unlimited to see what happens.
Larry R.: however you can always override it later.
jeremy: ok, i have set one of the mail accounts to unlimited.
jeremy: it still says there are loads of megabytes of mail
jeremy: all i did was increase the ceiling
jeremy: i also tried decreasing it to 1Mb
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: Same error message?
jeremy: on that one, jeremy at jeremyjarratt.com, there is 13mb
jeremy: not an error message, it just says that i am using 13 mb of mail storage
jeremy: but i see no mail anywhere, in any folders
Larry R.: You, would need to delete the old emails. If, not you need to set it to a diffrent amount.
jeremy: same thing for transmothra at transmothra.com and transmothra at meat-thing.com
jeremy: there are no emails. this is what i am trying to tell you
jeremy: it CLAIMS there are loads of emails, but i can not find any. i have already deleted everything.
Larry R.: Ok.
Larry R.: Let me, check for you
jeremy: see what i mean?
jeremy: for example: “transmothra at meat-thing.com transmothra at meat-thing.com 20.01 M 20.00 M”
jeremy: but no email in any folders in Squirrelmail, Horde, or RoundCube
Larry R.: May I have you cpanel/username please.
jeremy: *****
Larry R.: Sir, are you there?
jeremy: yeah
Larry R.: Ok, I am not able to find any error.
Larry R.: If this continues; you will need to send a email to [email protected] one of our Senior Agents can look more in detail into this.
jeremy: how many mb does it say exists in the account transmothra at transmothra.com?
Larry R.: This, would be listed in your WHM
jeremy: no, i am asking you to confirm
Larry R.: Let, me check.
Larry R.: What, is you whm password.
jeremy: *****
Larry R.: I am, not able to login that password doesn’t work.
jeremy: *****
Larry R.: Sir, in your whm.
Larry R.: Look for list account it will show this info.
Larry R.: I tried that password.
Larry R.: Didn’t work.
Larry R.: Click on, the account in whm it will list the mb on, that email.
jeremy: ok… here is the deal: it says 20.01 mb is being used out of 20 mb total. but there are no emails!
Larry R.: Ok, let me check for you.
jeremy: my password for Cpanel is now noemailmoron
Larry R.: Make,sure that you have deleted all trash in the webmail.
Larry R.: And nothing is in the sent email folder.
Larry R.: This could be the only way, it would say this.
jeremy: yes, i know this… however, the reason why i am chatting with you right now is because this is not the case. there is no email in any folder of the mail accounts in question… and yet cpanel thinks that i have reached my mail quota.
jeremy: do you understand now?
Larry R.: Right, there are trash emails, send emails.
Larry R.: This is the only way it would say this.
Larry R.: Bulk mail’s ?
jeremy: i have deleted everything and emptied the trash.
jeremy: all folders are empty but my quota is used up. why is this?
Larry R.: I don’t understand why it would say this. What quota did you set it to.
jeremy: any. i have set it to 20mb, unlimited, and 1mb, and it continues to say that there is 20mb filled, even when there is no mail in sent, trash, spam, inbox folders
Larry R.: Ok, go ahead and send a email to [email protected]
Larry R.: Our senior admin needs to look into this.
jeremy: ok, thank you Larry.
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uncategorized

skip this post if you don’t like fuckwords

  • I am stupid and assume that everyone on my flist knows each other. Duh. So let me just say…
  • I wish i could blog like
    [info]pope_guilty

     . This guy is fucking awesome. Speaking purely as a metaphor for how much I like his political blogging alone, i would suck his purple, throbbing blog-cock until his hot link-jizz dribbled out of my XML-parsing man-twat. Metaphorically, anyway. I am totally not gay though. But whhhhhhhew, damn!

  • Also,
    [info]sean_coltrane

     ‘s next Cocker Spaniels album is going to be sooooo freaking good. You cannot imagine how sweet the rough mixes are sounding. Sean can play like crazy, and his songs and arrangements are just crunked up good. For those of you who skipped out on purchasing his last album (which was only, like, the greatest thing evar), you can now download the whole thing for free. Listen to that, and see if you can wait for the new disc to drop. I know I can’t.

  • Actually, all of you are pretty freakin’ cool. Say hello.
  • I recently had to get new tires, which ended up costing nearly $500.
  • Right after that, i had to replace the struts. Foolishly, i took it back to the same place, thinking they fucked something up. They charged me nearly $900. I am so fucked right now.
  • I still don’t have a job. I am looking. I am also ready to give up on life and just accept yet another in a long line of shit-jobs that make me hate living. Speaking of self-destructive negativity, and of fuckwords…
  • Bukowski’s epitaph reads “DON’T TRY”
  • Speaking of the dead, my middle name ain’t Leon. And i ain’t dead yet! It’s creepy seeing myself listed on Find-a-Grave.
  • Wow, there are a lot of rednecks and jingoists and mooks and idiots in the world America my hometown. And also America.
  • I am down to just a couple of cigarettes a day now. My sympathies to the New Bohemians, but Chantix worked pretty well for me, even though i’m on my last week of a two month prescription and i still haven’t completely quit. Also: Dum-Dums helped a ton.
  • I have finally broken down and opened a Flickr account.
  • My home studio is almost fully rebuilt here in the new house.
  • I recently sat down at the d.piano and my fingers instinctively played the last chord progression they landed on the last time I played, which was months ago. I figured I had better go ahead and write the rest of the damn song. So now I have a song which includes diminished and augmented triads. Never thought that would happen. Say hello to Jazzbo, fucko.
  • Don’t have Vista or XP Media Center Edition? Install TVersity, and you too can watch internet porn (or, y’know, any other local/online video, music, or images) on your Xbox 360!
Categories
family internets life uncategorized web design work

absent? i have been absent?

I have been absent for a few months, due to a huge variety of reasons. I’ve been having system issues. Some of these issues are ongoing and may eventually require me to reinstall my OS. Some have been resolved with new hardware and some vigorous kicking.

I’ve also quit my job and have been taking time to myself, to play and think and forget about the increasingly troubling world outside my immediate environment and all the long hours of often emotionally demanding work*. You could call it a complete mental breakdown if you want. I would not stop you. I was having a hard time getting anything done and was feeling very overwhelmed. I still have a hard time and am feeling overwhelmed, but i’m also learning to live forwardly, if that makes any sense, and to commit to fewer obligations so that i can focus more and not spread myself so thin. Another thing was that, after my grandfather’s death, i almost immediately jumped back into the mandatory 50-hour work weeks. I do not think that was the healthy thing to do. I should have argued for a leave of absence, or just quit then. I recently found myself re-grieving, and it was not fun.

Anyhow, all this boils down to the announcement that i will soon be overhauling this site yet again. This time, it will not be a radical overhaul, just an update of the back-end, and some cleaning up of the bloated CSS.

In other news, i have also recently begun to quit smoking. It is going surprisingly well, and i am down to just a few hand-rolled cigarettes a day.

On a completely separate note:
XBox 360 gamertag: transmothra

Lastly, my car is making weird klonking noises, so if i die tomorrow, please make sure my funeral and headstone are hilarious and completely lacking in both taste and respect.

*The next time you curse out or yell at a customer service person, remember that they are not paid particularly well to listen to people like you for eight to ten very long hours every workday of their miserable lives. Be calm, speak clearly, and don’t expect more than is fair to all parties, and things will get worked out.

Categories
uncategorized

jeremy who?

If anyone games on 360, look me up (“transmothra“). I’d rather game with you than most of the fools i run into on there. Please let me know who you are, if your gamertag ≠ your LJ/MySpace/Facebook/MSN/YM/Google/ICQ/AOL username(S).

If anyone doesn’t game on 360, please comment to let me know what’s new in your life. i haven’t been online in a while due to technical difficulties.

Incidentally, out of work again. right about six months after my grandfather’s death, i kind of hit a breaking point. i haven’t worked in a couple of months, and i don’t want to interact with the general public ever again for the rest of my life if it can at all be helped. i’m so done with people.

but not you, my preciouses.