transmothraThanks to ScareCrowe @ htmlforums.com, i finally got my theme working. Mostly.
I know it still looks like crap on IE. That will be fixed. And none of my plugins are enabled or updated yet.
I still have plans on releasing this theme into the wild, but i have a ways to go before it is up to snuff. Some of the backend is still kind of messy.
Btw, over at technothrope i plan on doing a tutorial on upgrading WordPress for people who are very far behind.
It has been awhile since i have been able to blog here. It turns out that, back in the spring, my host upgraded from PHP4 to PHP5 (finally). Unfortunately, this broke my theme, for reasons still unknown to me. Also, i had gotten lazy (boo!) and had not upgraded my WordPress since 2.0.7 (we’re now on 2.6.1).
In the process of trying to fix it, i broke it terribly.
I have finally been able to rebuild the thing in its entirety and have uploaded the result. What you are looking at is not my original blog, but a duplicate, a clone, much like an entangled photon can cause spooky action at a distance.
Unfortunately, my theme is still busted, and i still can not figure out why.
Wow, it feels good to be back.
Smith’s Automotive at 400 E. 3rd St. in Dayton, Ohio (next to Wympee’s) is awesome. Daniel the proprietor is such a really nice guy. He even offered me water and gave me a camping chair to sit on while i was outside smoking. Lightning fast. He drove the car with me before and after the repair, and charged me very little. I just can’t say enough about this guy.
If your car needs help, you seriously can not do any better than to have him on your side.
The difference between an amateur and a professional is that the amateur knows exactly what they are doing, while the professional is just making stuff up as they go along.
Think on this.
Peace out.
I’ve deleted my entire friends list. Nothing against anyone. There are quite a few people on LJ who i really, really like a whole lot.
If you earnestly want to deal with my bullshit, let me know. But i don’t think anyone should have to.
I don’t plan on updating much anymore, and i’m considering a full-on journal deletion, if i can figure out how to archive absolutely everything. Thus, like life, the whole thing may just be in vain anyway.
When i am dead, i wish to be burned to a crisp, and have my dirty ashes scattered by close friends wherever they please.
It is my wish that whatever organs are desperately, vitally needed by someone else in their direst hour be given to them, free of charge, with the condition that such license to use and/or modify shall be taken up by them also, and that no derivative works shall result in profit. After all, i am an open source, Creative Commons person.
My stuff shall be dispersed however my few close friends see fit, with the understanding that of course my dear love Holly should have pretty well everything to start with, shared mainly with anything my dad & uncle might want (so you better ask them all real nice if you want my Cure CDs). However, Tony D. is not to have anything until he sobers the hell up. There’s no point in giving anything to a man who’s only going to exchange it for crappy booze or some other escapist bullshit. On the other hand, his wonderful daughter Abby is welcome to just about anything she chooses.
I want my unfinished work to be wrapped up somehow. I don’t care how, so long as i become extremely famous and fabulously wealthy after death. Just don’t screw it up like you do everything else. This is Important Shit.
A grave marker will be permitted if anyone wants to bury my ashes, as long as the epitaph is funny as hell. My suggestions:
If you have something better, go for it.
No serious religion shall stake a claim on any part of my death, including but not limited to any services performed to mark my exit. No rites or stupid ceremonies are to be performed, with the lone exception being that my homies will be permitted to spill some on the curb for me. No spiritual messages are to be given, and no priest of any faith shall officiate. It is to be wholly remembered that i was a devout agnostic, who leaned heavily toward atheism. Anyone caught claiming that i somehow had a soul that lived on after death shall be haunted by my fictitious ghost forever, or until they come to the conclusion that i am not haunting them at all, whichever comes first. I lived through enough horse shit; i don’t need to deal with more of it once i am dead and gone forever. My passing should be viewed as permanent. There is to be no prayer of any kind, except in jest. Silent meditation is permitted, but please: no god shit, and no afterlife crap.
Two religions which are permitted practices and/or short rites are the Church of the SubGenius and the P.O.E.E. (disciples of Eris, goddess of confusion – i think), and they should mock the whole goddamn thing, if they even bother to show up. I also do not mind Buddhism all that much.
No flowers, please. Take your money and donate it to a non-religious charity that does work with AIDS patients or research, breast cancer (again, patients or research), homelessness, runaways, asthma, the environment, civil and/or human rights, putting an end to consumerism, humanitarian efforts, nuclear disarmament, or anything related to promoting atheism or agnosticism or the like.
On the other hand, any services performed to mark my escape from this terrible veil of lies should have a darkly humorous bent, and anyone eulogizing me must include at least one tasteless joke at my expense, or (more preferably) the expense of others. Weirdness should be encouraged at any cost. Attempts should be made at gallows humor. Thou shalt have joy, and laughter, damn it. Death is nothing serious. Be wholly glad i am gone!
Originally published at jeremyjarratt.com. You can comment here or there.
When i am dead, i wish to be burned to a crisp, and have my dirty ashes scattered by close friends wherever they please.
It is my wish that whatever organs are desperately, vitally needed by someone else in their direst hour be given to them, free of charge, with the condition that such license to use and/or modify shall be taken up by them also, and that no derivative works shall result in profit. After all, i am an open source, Creative Commons person.
My stuff shall be dispersed however my few close friends see fit, with the understanding that of course my dear love Holly should have pretty well everything to start with, shared mainly with anything my dad & uncle might want (so you better ask them all real nice if you want my Cure CDs). However, Tony D. is not to have anything until he sobers the hell up. There’s no point in giving anything to a man who’s only going to exchange it for crappy booze or some other escapist bullshit. On the other hand, his wonderful daughter Abby is welcome to just about anything she chooses.
I want my unfinished work to be wrapped up somehow. I don’t care how, so long as i become extremely famous and fabulously wealthy after death. Just don’t screw it up like you do everything else. This is Important Shit.
A grave marker will be permitted if anyone wants to bury my ashes, as long as the epitaph is funny as hell. My suggestions:
If you have something better, go for it.
No serious religion shall stake a claim on any part of my death, including but not limited to any services performed to mark my exit. No rites or stupid ceremonies are to be performed, with the lone exception being that my homies will be permitted to spill some on the curb for me. No spiritual messages are to be given, and no priest of any faith shall officiate. It is to be wholly remembered that i was a devout agnostic, who leaned heavily toward atheism. Anyone caught claiming that i somehow had a soul that lived on after death shall be haunted by my fictitious ghost forever, or until they come to the conclusion that i am not haunting them at all, whichever comes first. I lived through enough horse shit; i don’t need to deal with more of it once i am dead and gone forever. My passing should be viewed as permanent. There is to be no prayer of any kind, except in jest. Silent meditation is permitted, but please: no god shit, and no afterlife crap.
Two religions which are permitted practices and/or short rites are the Church of the SubGenius and the P.O.E.E. (disciples of Eris, goddess of confusion – i think), and they should mock the whole goddamn thing, if they even bother to show up. I also do not mind Buddhism all that much.
No flowers, please. Take your money and donate it to a non-religious charity that does work with AIDS patients or research, breast cancer (again, patients or research), homelessness, runaways, asthma, the environment, civil and/or human rights, putting an end to consumerism, humanitarian efforts, nuclear disarmament, or anything related to promoting atheism or agnosticism or the like.
On the other hand, any services performed to mark my escape from this terrible veil of lies should have a darkly humorous bent, and anyone eulogizing me must include at least one tasteless joke at my expense, or (more preferably) the expense of others. Weirdness should be encouraged at any cost. Attempts should be made at gallows humor. Thou shalt have joy, and laughter, damn it. Death is nothing serious. Be wholly glad i am gone!
I’m working on a project for a friend right now involving WordPress, which has got me excited enough to go ahead and overhaul this site once again.
So i will FINALLY be upgrading my WP installation and fixing my ACTUAL theme once and for all! I hope to have this completed by the end of the summer.
I promise to make it a whole lot cleaner, too, in layout if not in language.
That is all.
OMFG why didn’t anyone tell me about this!? Westboro Baptist Church apparently has its very own movies site! It’s hilarious and sad at the exact same time. The music videos are priceless! Why on earth do people like Rev. Dr. King and the Kennedys get shot while Fred Phelps is still walking???
OMFG why didn’t anyone tell me about this!? Westboro Baptist Church apparently has its very own movies site! It’s hilarious and sad at the exact same time. The music videos are priceless! Why on earth do people like Rev. Dr. King and the Kennedys get shot while Fred Phelps is still walking???
To my mind, there is nothing better than the idea that THIS is all there is, that there is no afterlife and no ultra-benevolent (yet strangely, fiercely jealous) Super-Grampa waiting to scoop us up in His arms when we die; that WE are responsible for what we do with our lives and how we shape our future as a species and individually. The idea that this is our one chance to get things right just makes life that much more important and special and precious. To me, life is sacred and holy enough without superstition or outdated ideas regarding how things work.
I also don’t see any problems with the idea that we are a wonderful accident of nature (which includes, but is not limited to, life). There is tremendous beauty in chaos.
And here’s a philosophical question hardly anyone ever bothers to ask:
We think of time as a line on a graph representing the space-time continuum. We know that we can move in any direction in space. There is, theoretically, nothing really stopping us from moving in any direction in time, either, if time is a fourth dimension (as has been repeatedly suggested by theoretical physicists and philosophers alike). So… we if move “backward,” aren’t we then uncreated? Does the flow of time alter god? Does god become cruel and sadistic depending on which direction s/he/it is facing? And does that, by definition, blast into smithereens a whole lot of god’s “omnipotence”?
p.s., i used to be a hands-waving-in-the-air-for-some-reason zealous Christian as a teenager. I even destroyed my Duran Duran records over it, strangely assuming that Jesus was so egotistical that he only ever wanted to have songs all about himself. Thank [ ] i’m reformed now.
To my mind, there is nothing better than the idea that THIS is all there is, that there is no afterlife and no ultra-benevolent (yet strangely, fiercely jealous) Super-Grampa waiting to scoop us up in His arms when we die; that WE are responsible for what we do with our lives and how we shape our future as a species and individually. The idea that this is our one chance to get things right just makes life that much more important and special and precious. To me, life is sacred and holy enough without superstition or outdated ideas regarding how things work.
I also don’t see any problems with the idea that we are a wonderful accident of nature (which includes, but is not limited to, life). There is tremendous beauty in chaos.
And here’s a philosophical question hardly anyone ever bothers to ask:
We think of time as a line on a graph representing the space-time continuum. We know that we can move in any direction in space. There is, theoretically, nothing really stopping us from moving in any direction in time, either, if time is a fourth dimension (as has been repeatedly suggested by theoretical physicists and philosophers alike). So… we if move “backward,” aren’t we then uncreated? Does the flow of time alter god? Does god become cruel and sadistic depending on which direction s/he/it is facing? And does that, by definition, blast into smithereens a whole lot of god’s “omnipotence”?
p.s., i used to be a hands-waving-in-the-air-for-some-reason zealous Christian as a teenager. I even destroyed my Duran Duran records over it, strangely assuming that Jesus was so egotistical that he only ever wanted to have songs all about himself. Thank [ ] i’m reformed now.
OK, so i’ll admit two things.
1) that i have not updated my WordPress installation, nor fixed the PHP in my totally custom theme to work with PHP5. This is a major headache for so many reasons, not least of which involves time. That’s why it looks super ugly right now.
2) that i have not created a web site in many moons. This means there are a lot of things which i have not yet had to deal with extensively. I’m talking to you, IE7, and your diabolical hasLayout bullshit.
Right now i’m working on a web site for an old friend who has a desktop publishing business. It’s a WordPress site, because that means she can update it herself and not have to pay a schmuck (hello!) to do it for her. So i’m making a theme that matches her design, and it’s not been easy.
Thanks to every single goddamn iteration of Internet Exploder rendering pages completely differently than the others, because of wildly varying degrees of standards compliance, there are now so many bugs to work around that it’s actually no longer fun to make a web site.
To wit:
I have a floating element, followed by a fixed element, on the page. Unless i take out the float, the fixed element completely disappears in IE7. WTF. But when i remove the float, the layout goes all wonky because IE7 measures things differently. Which means i’ll have to bugfix that, which will no doubt screw things up in IE6. Did i mention that IE8 will probably make all of these endeavors even more stupefyingly, insanely complex?
All because Microsoft has got to buck the convention and do their own thing… which i would normally applaud, if it wasn’t so idiotic a thing to do when we’re dealing with a medium which exists on so many different platforms that standards are an absolute necessity.
So fuck you to Microsoft, yet again.
And seriously, to all of you cavepeople who are STILL using Internet Exploder… why? Why, why, why???
Unfortunately, the XBox is dead. Just when we brought home used copies of Skate and Beautiful Katamari.
Fortunately, Holly aced her very first practice for the maneuverability test.
Points if you got the reference.
Am i the only one who hates the new Cure single “Freakshow”? That has got to be the most grating, irritating song ever recorded. And i LOVE LOVE LOVE The Cure.
Grr.
Well, the puncture wound on top of my thumb is nicely infected. I’m going to find someplace to treat it before it gets worse. I keep checking my inner arm to see if a red stripe appears along the path of my blood vessels which would indicate blood poisoning, which is not incredibly likely at this stage.
Unfortunately, i’m not insured, so this will cost more than i can probably afford right now.
Next time you’re railing against socialized medicine, think about me. If you’re truly committed to fighting universal health care, then i want you to wish with all of your might that i had died today from the infection spreading to my bloodstream.
My damn dog bit a hole clean through my hand. He’s taken to stealing random objects while we’re asleep or not looking and bringing them to bed, guarding them like Cerberus or something. Even when he doesn’t have a lighter or a stapler or a pen or cigarette roller, he still refuses to let daddy into bed without a snarling, growling, snapping match. It’s funny, because he’s bitten me pretty good before, and i truly am kinda scared of his tiny little razor-sharp teeth – especially when i’m entering the bed in my cotton boxers – but now i know for sure that my fear is not unfounded. I deserved it this time, though. I made a fist at him and was a little aggressive this time.
Damn, it hurts! He gouged me down to through the muscle on the top, between my thumb and palm, and cut on the first thumb joint on the bottom. The blood pooled up real dark and thick and it filled up the first bandage after a few hours, but i really didn’t bleed a whole lot. I probably could have used maybe a stitch or two, but there’s no reason for that. People have survived much worse injuries, and i might even get a cool scar out of it.
Oh, and i got food poisoning from Milano’s last night. So today wasn’t my day.
Oh, and happy birthday to my dad!