Categories
life

sick.

Holly had a flu over the weekend. she’s still not feeling very well. we thought that it was because of some medication she’s been on recently, but the doctor at the urgent care facility we went to the other day said that it’s this weird flu bug that’s been going around. he said it lasts around ten days, and that usually the third day is the worst.

her ten days aren’t quite up.

i’m not up to day three yet.

(luckily, we’ve got Monty Python and the Holy Grail (Special Edition DVD), which has tons of special features and commentary.)

Categories
internets

weird videos

this is just ate up. it’s some guy doing some kind of weird cartoon Coach Z-as-a-pirate karoake over Julian Lennon’s “Too Late for Goodbye” video. and here’s a German kid who really, really needs Ritalin. badly.

Categories
uncategorized

Speck pics

here’s a couple of pictures of our dog, Speck. it’s nothing short of a bizarre, unexplained phenomenon that he was actually still for these shots. these are the inaugural pictures taken with our new Olympus C740.

Speck, 2/18/06Speck, 2/18/06

Categories
Speck

Speck pics

here’s a couple of pictures of our dog, Speck. it’s nothing short of a bizarre, unexplained phenomenon that he was actually still for these shots. these are the inaugural pictures taken with our new Olympus.
Speck, 2/18/06Speck, 2/18/06

Categories
creative life

camera camera!

our new Olympus C740 digital camera arrived today. all i know about it is that it got great reviews on epinions and has 10x optical zoom. optical zoom.

it didn’t, however, come with batteries (AA will do!) or a card :( …so now, after having spent the past few days getting almost no sleep thanks to Civilization IV (my wonderful girlfriend’s Valentine’s gift to me), i have to trek out to get one so i can start taking pictures.

very happy though :)

Categories
uncategorized

updated link-indication plugin for WordPress

for WordPress users, an updated link-indication plugin

Categories
internets web design

new link patterns

i’ve just got through updating a link-indication plugin for WordPress. now all links will automagically have an icon next to them if they’re external, and some have their own special icon. popular sites and sites that i regularly visit such as LiveJournal, HTMLForums, A List Apart, SitePoint, the W3C, MySpace, SubGenius.com, All Music Guide, Amazon.com, and Blogspot, will now be especially styled.

if you have a WordPress site and would like to use my version of this awesome plugin, you can download the text file here (right-click + save as link-indication.php), and have some icons here (.zip, 17Kb). mad, mad props to Michael Wöhrer!

Categories
uncategorized

backing up backups

Ho Li Qrap! i’ve been backing up recursively! i had less than 20Gig of free space on my 200Gig main drive! what a moron! it’s taken an hour so far to delete the old backups, and it’s not done yet. good fuck! i need to take smarter care of my system. i can’t believe i was backing up backups.

anybody know offhand what the argument is to exclude folders, and what commenting scheme XP likes, in a batch file?

cls

c:
cd “C:\Documents and Settings\Administrator\Local Settings\Temp”
del /q /s /f *.*

cd “C:\Documents and Settings\Administrator\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files”
del /q /s /f *.*

cd “C:\Documents and Settings\Default User\Local Settings\Temp”
del /q /s /f *.*

cd “C:\Documents and Settings\Default User\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files”
del /q /s /f *.*

cd “C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\Local Settings\Temp”
del /q /s /f *.*

cd “C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\Local Settings\Temporary Internet Files”
del /q /s /f *.*

cleanmgr /sagerun:99

DEFRAG C:
DEFRAG D:

C:\WINDOWS\system32\ntbackup.exe backup “@C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\Local Settings\Application Data\Microsoft\Windows NT\NTBackup\data\backup-alldocs.bks” /a /d “Set created 1/7/2006 at 1:49 AM” /v:no /r:no /rs:no /hc:off /m normal /j “backup-alldocs” /l:s /f “C:\Backups\Backup latest.bkf”

exit

i am such a retard.

Categories
uncategorized

now powered by WordPress

www.jeremyjarratt.com

latest adventure: digging up an old blues song i did on 4-track at the ripe old age of 18. Robert Johnson ain’t worried.

feed available w/ podcasts

Categories
creative memories music podcasts songs

ain’t got time for The Shins

here’s an old track from the early 90s. i recorded this on a Fostex X-26 4-track cassette recorder with a Dixon Les Paul copy and a Radio Shack mic. enjoy the (badly done) faux Robert Plant-isms.
[audio:https://transmothra.com/audio/sins.mp3]

Categories
uncategorized

fixed

thanks to onah, for pointing out that i was saving in Wondows file format, when my host is on a Unix box. i had a feeling it was a line termination thing, since every time i made a change, the damn error would STILL claim it was line 1.

Categories
uncategorized

why does my browser sniffer script break all of a sudden?

my old browser sniffer that’s worked so well for me for years, cobbled together from various sources, doesn’t work when i upload it. funny thing is, no matter what i change, it always says the error is on line 1, which is of course the <?php delimiter. the next line is blank, and the few lines after that are comments. after that, it goes:

sniffer.php
function inAgent($agent) {
if (eregi($agent,$_SERVER['HTTP_USER_AGENT'])){
$br = true;
} else {
$br = false;
}
return $br;
}
if (!isset($browser)) {
$browser = "";
}
switch (inAgent("MSIE")) {
case true:
if (inAgent("Mac")) {$browser = inAgent("MSIE 5") ? "ie5mac" : "ie4mac";}
elseif (inAgent("Win")) {$browser = "iewin";}
break;

case false:
if (inAgent("Firefox")) {$browser = "firefox";}
elseif (inAgent("iCab")) {$browser = "icab";}
elseif (inAgent("Mozilla/5")) {$browser = "mozilla";}
elseif (inAgent("Mozilla/4"))
{
if ( inAgent('Mac')) {$browser = "nsmac";}
else {$browser = (inAgent("Win")) ? "nswin" : "nsunix";}
}
elseif (inAgent("Opera")) {$browser = "opera";}
elseif (inAgent("Safari")) {$browser = "safari";}
else {$browser = "unknown";}
break;
}

switch ($browser) {
case "iewin":
$sniffedcss1 = "absolute";
$sniffedcss2 = "top:";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "iemac":
$sniffedcss1 = "absolute";
$sniffedcss2 = "top";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "ie5mac":
$sniffedcss1 = "absolute";
$sniffedcss2 = "top";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "firefox":
$sniffedcss1 = "fixed";
$sniffedcss2 = "bottom";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "thank you for using Firefox!";
break;

case "icab":
$sniffedcss1 = "fixed";
$sniffedcss2 = "bottom";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "nswin":
$sniffedcss1 = "fixed";
$sniffedcss2 = "bottom";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "nsunix":
$sniffedcss1 = "absolute";
$sniffedcss2 = "top";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "nsmac":
$sniffedcss1 = "absolute";
$sniffedcss2 = "top";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "mozilla":
$sniffedcss1 = "fixed";
$sniffedcss2 = "bottom";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!</a>";
break;

case "opera":
$sniffedcss1 = "fixed";
$sniffedcss2 = "bottom";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "thank you for using Opera!";
break;

case "safari":
$sniffedcss1 = "fixed";
$sniffedcss2 = "bottom";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "thank you for using Safari!";
break;

default:
$sniffedcss1 = "fixed";
$sniffedcss2 = "bottom";
$GLOBALS['brwsrmssg'] = "Safer, faster, better. <a href=\"http://www.spreadfirefox.com/?q=affiliates&id=7148&t=1\">Get Firefox!!</a>";
break;
}

and i’m calling it like this:
header.php

<?
require_once ("sniffer.php");
?>

/* snip */

<img src="<? echo $_GLOBALS["direkt"]; ?>wp-content/themes/Ice/images/image.gif" style="position: <? echo $sniffedcss1; ?>; <? echo $sniffedcss2; ?>: 0px; right: 0px;" alt="description" />

footer.php
<? echo $GLOBALS['brwsrmssg']; ?>

it works perfectly locally, as it should. i’m on Apache 2.2.0 and PHP 4.4.1 (Win), whereas my host is using PHP 4.4.1 on Apache 1.3.34 (Unix).

the error i’m getting is either
Parse error: parse error, unexpected T_STRING in /real/path/to/html/sniffer.php on line 1
or …unexpected T_FUNCTION…, depending on what i’ve tried to do to fix it.

i just don’t get it. any ideas?

Categories
uncategorized

(no subject)

broke my website. dunno how. my browser sniffer script (PHP) works fine locally, on the same version of PHP.

my pal Tony came over last night. it was fun, we played a little guitar, a little video gaming, shot the shit. it used to be i always had to be drunk to have a good time. last night, i had 2 beers and have had a raging headache for hours now.

bleh, going to bed.

Categories
uncategorized

DNS

my domain transfer for transmothra.com is complete. it’s now pointing to my new host’s nameservers. nothing to see as of yet*, but at least i’m heading the right way. all of my [empty] domains should now be pointing to HostGator.

so right now i’m killing time trying to think of ways to avoid making excuses for not working on transmothra.com 5.0. or something like that. HEY! did you know there’s a Homestar Runner Wiki?

*sort of

Categories
internets life work

an e-mail i received at work…

i work for a major lingerie retailer that you’ve heard of. i work in Internet Services. i take phone calls, and e-mails, and very occasionally answer the TDD phone. (i have nothing to do with their actual website.)

today, i received the following e-mail:

please remove my daughter N***** from your catalog mailing list. she passed away last July.her address is:*** *. ******* **.
**** ******, ** *****

i located the account. we are supposed to note the account with the request. because there is no account-level notation function in our green-on-black mainframe system, we just have to hope there’s an order and note the most recent one.

she had three orders. the final one was dated to something like July 8th, 2005. it was a backordered 2-piece lime green swimsuit. i did not look at the size – not for any particular reason, it just didn’t occur to me. she would likely not have received it until sometime up to the 22nd. or rather, it would not have arrived until then.

i sat there, staring into the screen, past the green pixellated Lucida Console fonts that spelled out the question: did she get to wear it at least once? did she see it at all? did it even arrive before her death? i knew that the chances were pretty good that she had died before it had even gotten across state lines. something sank, deep inside of me; i was deeply moved by this event which was so small to me yet so gigantic to her family. a longing to touch her cheek, to see what she looked like, to tell her that it would all be okay somehow. i wanted to console her, to forgive her post facto grief. i felt such sadness for that dead ex-customer then.

life is pretty fucking precious when you realize how thin of a string our mere existence swings by; how lucky we all are to be here and be aware in the first place. and how easily and how permanently it can be shattered for all of eternity.

my “human-level response” was excellent on that one. i thanked the mother for her e-mail (as always), told her that it saddened us to hear of it, and asked her to please accept our sincere and humble condolences for her tragic loss. something along those lines.

i’d never meant anything like that in a business e-mail before.

Categories
uncategorized

(no subject)

i work for a major lingerie retailer that you’ve heard of. i work in Internet Services. i take phone calls, and e-mails, and very occasionally answer the TDD phone. (i have nothing to do with their actual website.)

today, i received the following e-mail:

please remove my daughter N***** from your catalog mailing list. she passed away last July.

her address is:

*** *. ******* **.
**** ******, ** *****

i located the account. we are supposed to note the account with the request. because there is no account-level notation function in our green-on-black mainframe system, we just have to hope there’s an order and note the most recent one.

she had three orders. the final one was dated to something like July 8th, 2005. it was a backordered 2-piece lime green swimsuit. i did not look at the size – not for any particular reason, it just didn’t occur to me. she would likely not have received it until sometime up to the 22nd. or rather, it would not have arrived until then.

i sat there, staring into the screen, past the green pixellated Lucida Console fonts that spelled out the question: did she get to wear it at least once? did she see it at all? did it even arrive before her death? i knew that the chances were pretty good that she had died before it had even gotten across state lines. something sank, deep inside of me; i was deeply moved by this event which was so small to me yet so gigantic to her family. a longing to touch her cheek, to see what she looked like, to tell her that it would all be okay somehow. i wanted to console her, to forgive her post facto grief. i felt such sadness for that dead ex-customer then.

life is pretty fucking precious when you realize how thin of a string our mere existence swings by; how lucky we all are to be here and be aware in the first place. and how easily and how permanently it can be shattered for all of eternity.

my “human-level response” was excellent on that one. i thanked the mother for her e-mail (as always), told her that it saddened us to hear of it, and asked her to please accept our sincere and humble condolences for her tragic loss. something along those lines.

i’d never meant anything like that in a business e-mail before.

Categories
uncategorized

money vs. spice

somehow i’ve managed to go $126 into the red. that’s not good. that’s SO not good.

i think my e-mail’s messed up.

at least i have the new Lynch/Smithee Dune DVD!

Categories
uncategorized

dot com

i went with HostGator. they’re fucking brilliant.

got a new domain, for those of you who know my full name, and transferred transmothra.com over to GoDaddy.

if i’m slightly absent, it’s because i work 50 hours a week, third shift, and spent the rest either coding or hanging out with Holly & Speck, or i’m at my Grandfather’s house.

Categories
internets life uncategorized web design

Hello World

Well hel-lo. What do we have here, huh? A new domain name and a new host!

I lost my last web host, so here i am again; this time on HostGator, which seems to be fantastic so far.

I work third shift, and have been messing around with my new site’s control panel for way too long today, so this is necessarily brief, as i must away to bed soon. However, i will leave you to deal with this mess in my stead. Enjoy!

Categories
uncategorized

success!

got my old site fully working locally! my last data dump was in March of ’04, so i don’t have the last few blog entries, but who cares? i have my entire old website out of mothballs!

i just need to copy it and tweak it for the new blog system, add in some of the tweaks i did for the (sadly, now defunct) VAT magazine website, do other things i’ve had my mind on, and test the hell out of it (since i don’t have hosting yet, i’ll need to make sure it runs with register_globals either on or off, and on either PHP4.x or PHP5).

i think i’m going to go for another redesign, while i’m at it. that way, i can finally include some of those kooky sci-fi skins from the old Mars STS project (a barebones content management system i wrote, which featured a theme switcher, loads of translucent backgrounds, and best of all, automatic file detection, which let you upload the file and forget it – no more making links on every page!).

this is going to take time i simply don’t have, though. i will probably have to puke out something quick just to put stuff on for a time while i revamp the site engine yet a-damn-gain.

this time, i promise it will look cool as shit and have better content. i’ll probably also post public bookmarks via XML (and run a linkchecker this time, cronjobs willing), so if you have the Firefox extension you can sync, see and surf the best of the ‘net right along with me.