Tag: life:me

life lately

Post author By jae
Post date 25 June, 2006

I’ve been working 50 hour weeks for ~8 months now, with about 3 weeks break (40-44 hours).

When anyone complains, the standard mantra of “business needs” is repeatedly chanted at us until we go away. Our HR department has completely forgotten what the ‘H’ stands for. When you see them about anything, they act as if their own mantra is “when you take advantage of your benefits, you take advantage of your company”.

I also recently found out that my yearly $200 donation to the United Way for various charities was not spread out to help AIDS or breast cancer charities, but was all given to Hospice instead. A worthy charity, but i wanted to spread it out a little bit. They don’t care.

It’s completely burning me out. I’m exhausted all the time, and on my days off, i never get anything done anymore. My off hours are spent vegetatively reading the news online.

I’ve been getting fat again, and my mood has been crappy, so i’ve decided to start taking SAM-e again (mood), and Stacker3 XPLC (metabolism).

Good news: Lisa is moving away in like a few days.

Tags life:me, life:work

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Step One

Post author By jae
Post date 24 May, 2006
7 Comments on Step One

Shit. I just submitted my FAFSA.

Now i’m fucked/saved.

Tags life:me

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There goes that… but all for good

Post author By jae
Post date 20 May, 2006

I just took a small plunge i can’t very well afford in order to notch the music-creation thing up a little. All i bought were good distortion and digital delay pedals, plus some wall-juice and signal cables. But that’s a pretty big $200 right now. I’m kind of stressing it, but the sale on Digitech gear at MF ends this weekend. I only have a week until payday, but even then, i have to pay rent and utilities out of that.

I need this like air to breathe.

Music is absolutely everything to me, and i can NOT just keep fucking around anymore: i’m getting old, and my body aches, and i haven’t really had much creative output in years. Much worse: i have not yet left my mark, and so am unfit to die, having done nothing remotely profound with my life. If nobody comes to my funeral, or if there is no crying and no dancing, then i don’t even want to die at all. Not until i get it right.

And… i have an ulterior motive: i want to make a rock record that my grandpa can be proud of, before he leaves this world forever. I hate the thought of him dying with nothing going on at the last leaf on the family tree. It’s like letting him down in the worst possible way ever. So i am even more desperate to get started as soon as possible.

Someday, you will be able to hear the music that i hear in my head, and you will rejoice and/or despair. Possibly both at once.

Tags creativity:music, life:death, life:me

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resume

Post author By jae
Post date 13 May, 2006
10 Comments on resume

Anybody out there want to critique my online résumé? If so, i would be greatly appreciative!

(yes, the links to my portfolio are not active yet – those will be archived sites)

Tags computers:code, life:me, life:work

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new oldness

Post author By jae
Post date 12 April, 2006

for them what haf’t knowed me not too long, i was once a mediocre poet…

Tags creativity:poems, life:me

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i got dem ole bout ta got no isshunce blews.

Post author By jae
Post date 7 April, 2006

i was out with a sore throat this week and Holly’s got pleurisy and severe chest/back pain and maybe a fever too. had to call out sick for her and for myself on behalf of her on Thor’s Day.

i know i’ll get in trouble for doing that. but i just don’t care. i spent all of my loyalty points for that company. i’ve applied at a few other places; i’m sure to get one or more offers. i just can’t keep living at that stupid place and talking to those fluff-headed customers any longer. i swear to fuck, every day i visualize my empty body hanging from the balcony. it’s taking too much from me to keep this crap up. i need change. i need a new job, more time to create, and more space to create in. i won’t even go into the old “standing by while my sweet old Grandpa dies” bit. i can’t even get myself over there to witness it most of the time.

my life is stifling me.

all i want is Holly, and Speck, and a fuckload of cash (that’ll take care of the rest of my problems). that’s all i want.

Tags life:family, life:friends:holly, life:health, life:me, life:work

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headache

Post author By jae
Post date 29 March, 2006
2 Comments on headache

i left work early tonight (completely unrelated to my little rant from yesterday). my head hurts so badly.

is it common for headaches to usually be focused on the same area of the head?

and can somebody e-mail me some Orudis KT? please? i’ll totally pay you back.

Tags life:me, life:work

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jeremy will be absent today as he has the blogsy.
signed,
my mom

Post author By jae
Post date 3 March, 2006

i’ve been posting a bit more frequently at my own site lately. i still plan on using LJ for more community-oriented posts and my ruder moments; but for now, the cleanish and more or less presentable version of my life is there. there are various feeds (such as for i-swear-it’s-upcoming podcasts and work-related stuff) if you really want to keep track of me that freaking badly. (if you need help understanding syndication and feeds…)

and yes, i know the layout is horrible. i’m working on it.