thanks

to each of you, for the comments the other day. and especially to Lisa.

it’s all washed away… all the hostility and anger and inner-rage. gone like us.

i tried to be so hardlined and stoic about it, and it was working; i felt fine about it ending. tomorrow, as they say, is another day. and last night, i couldn’t help it. i broke.

so we cried and we held each other tenderly like we hadn’t in so long. (i do love that girl to pieces, even if she can be wickedly temperamental at times.) and i forgave her deep down for being an emotional lunatic rollercoaster girl. i’m not so great myself. trust that.

and i thought (so many times last night) about asking her back, but i didn’t. i know that it’s over. she knows. she’s big enough to let it go. i hope i am, too. it needed to die to live.

so it goes.

this is going to be a lot harder for me than i thought. i’m not so tough. i’ll be okay, though.

aside from the occasional Jekyll/Hyde impression, she really is a wonderful and unique and charming girl. just so ya know. and she wouldn’t have complaints if they didn’t have a basis in reality. the reality is that i’m a cheapskate loser of a boyfriend. i never took her out ever. never bought her presents ever. i didn’t even give her a proper bed. i was very frequently inattentive (to say the least). a year and a half of that would make anyone crazy. i’m thankful that she, ever the trooper, carried on with me for so long, despite my many and various shortcomings.

my hat comes off and my heart goes out to her, who is brave and honest and far more sweet than sour. thank you for a wonderful time with you, Lisa. all the best. don’t look back, honey.