Categories
family friends life uncategorized

FYI Holly

Holly will be staying overnight again. She’s generally doing better and will probably be released tomorrow afternoon. She was fairly miserable a little bit ago (see “potassium”, below), but they’re doing what they can to keep her as comfortable as possible, and the staff there are very good. Except for the lady who brings breakfast. Her diabetes may come from her genes, as she was told that her form of diabetes was common to a specific Indian tribe.

The story, from the beginning, for those who don’t know:

Holly’s vision had been getting blurry and was getting worse for a few days. She also had some other common symptoms, such as dizziness. She brought up her glucose problems and i suggested maybe getting a monitor to test her blood sugar.

Early yesterday morning, after inching up to the TV to the point where she was nearly re-broadcast back to the station, she decided she’d had enough of feeling crappy so we went up to get a cheap blood-sugar monitor at Wal-Mart.

The first [successful] test was 448. A half hour later, the screen simply said “HI” – meaning that it was above 600. Normal blood sugar levels are more like 90 or so. We had trouble getting enough blood for further testing, because the machine was really finicky. Some degree of panic ensued, and we debated whether to wait for the Miami Valley Urgent Care to open, or go straight to the ER. (She no longer has insurance through her work, and we worried that the ER would not only be too expensive, but that she wouldn’t even be seen until after the Urgent Care was open anyway.) We called Optum’s Nurseline, which is provided by our employer, and was recommended to get to urgent care within 4-8 hours.

We waited for a couple of hours and she drank lots of water and rested as much as she could. We left early for Urgent Care. They couldn’t help us and directed us to go straight to the ER, ASAP.

After something like ten hours of poking and prodding and barely resting at all, she was finally admitted and she’s been getting better.

Today, her glucose was brought down to nearly normal, but it rose again later on, after being fed orange juice and a muffin for breakfast. Now she’s getting more potassium (that stuff apparently really hurts going in) and other unpronounceable things and we’ll have a better idea when she’s been monitored and stabilized a little more.

She probably won’t be taking injections of insulin for very long and will probably be on an oral drug to help keep her stable. She will need to eat low-carbohydrate, low-sugar foods from now on. So, if you’re going to be feeding her, fish would be a good idea. Non- sugar-free candy would not, and may get you a punch in the face courtesy of yours truly.

So that’s the story so far. She’s got a chronic disease but she’s getting better, and although she’ll be tied to drugs to keep her blood sugar stabilized, she’s going to be a lot better pretty soon.

Categories
family friends life uncategorized

Diabetes

Holly now has diabetes. That’s not all. She’d been getting worse and worse over the last week, so she got the bright idea to get a blood sugar monitor. Thank holy living fucking hell, because the first reading (early this morning) was 448, while a half hour later it was off the meter (600 ).

Normal range is under ~100. The go-ahead-and-freak-out-now point is 250 .

She’s in hospital now, where she’ll be overnight, possibly two nights.

Poor sweet thing… she’s suffered so much. I thought i could handle this until that very thought crossed my mind driving home to pick up some stuff. I choked up a little on that.

She’ll be alright, though. She’s at a great hospital and they’re doing good with her and she’s slowly starting to feel better.

Three words: STEM CELL RESEARCH. Make it happen, Mr. Bush.

Categories
life Speck

bad dog

Our dog bit me today. But good. Father’s day my ass. He was defending his right to eat toilet paper.

After the scolding, he looked like he was going to cry.

So now my hand is all bandaged up. It wasn’t stitch-worthy, but it wasn’t very far from it.

Bad dog.

Speck is evil

Categories
friends

This weekend. (R.I.P. Mark Hild)

The funeral for our old buddy Mark Hild was today. The viewing was yesterday. Attended both. Got no sleep. Saw Grandfather. He looks like he weighs all of 75lbs and is sweating like a pig in that inferno of a house. Extremely depressed over both situations.

Yesterday, Mark’s wonderful mother Alice remembered me (my god, the woman is superhuman after all!), and said that Mark had been on a breathing tube for a few years, and that he’d pretty much lost control of everything but his brain and mouth. She said that he was ready, that he was done with being sick. She looked remarkably at peace, and i am incredibly glad. What a sweet, yet strong, woman. Today i thanked her for being such a good mother for our friend.

Friday, i cried. Then, i was numb. Today, i’m crying again. Mark had a helluva Will. He Intended to keep on keepin’ on, until there was nothing left to keep. And he damn sure did just that. He did exactly that. Kid was a fighter, a tough MF.

Just a few short years ago, i honestly thought that he could beat that Muscular Dystrophy shit straight to hell. I really thought that he was Neo or something.

I noticed that the word “shame” was bandied about in regards to MD (unless i was hearing wrong, which may well be the case… i hope). I’ve never had it, so i have no right to any opinion on that, but i’ll give it anyway: Where is shame? Show me shame! All i see in people with MD is passion, sweetness, love, and some serious freakin’ people skills. I guess if i had it, i’d feel pretty self-conscious, and maybe even shame. But as a free-standing man who takes his health for granted, i can tell you that i have never once associated that foul word with Muscular Dystrophy, or any other disease. The very idea makes me think of those sick freaks who get all offended by the site of someone with a different physiology than their own. And to them [i say]? “Fuck you.” Seriously. “Fuck you.” Who cares what idiots like that think, who barely even deserve to walk freely at all?

I called out from work today again. I’ll go back tomorrow. Today is just a little… heavy for me.

These are just words, really. I’m just pouring them out of me with my tears. Sorry if i offend. I’m emotional. Go read Dale Huffman’s great story about Mark instead.

Categories
friends local memories

Mark Hild

An old friend of mine named Mark Hild grew up with Muscular Dystrophy. Word on the playground was that he probably wouldn’t live to graduate from high school. I knew him back when it barely took two hands to count my age.

On Tuesday, he went into cardiac arrest and suffered some really serious brain damage. His brain stem could no longer function enough to keep him alive. Last i heard, he was to be taken off his ventilator this afternoon. So, right now, he’s probably gone.

A fond memory of mine is of this goofy greeting we used to do for some reason. I can’t remember why or who started it, but when we were in grade school or junior high, we used to do this big, wide, window-washer wave. Like a “Hiya, Spanky” kind of thing. It was innocent, and pretty retarded, really.

“Hiya, Mark!”

“Hiya, Jeremy!”

…and later, when leaving, more ridiculous Little Rascals waving:

“So long, old pal!”

“So long, old buddy!”

Last time i saw him was in 2002, at an all-classes reunion out at our old high school. He had a breathing tube (a la Christopher Reeve) and was in his powered wheelchair, but was hardly looking like the years had touched him at all, and in fact looked for all the world like a hundred million god damn bucks. We exchanged pleasantries, and i felt sorry that we’d grown up and grown pretty far apart, but it was the greatest thrill to see him again. He was a good guy. A gentleman all the way through. I’ll never forget how happy i was to see him looking so relatively healthy. At that moment, i was thinking, ‘He’s made it this far – look at him! – he’s really going to beat all the odds and live to be an old man just like anyone else!’

I’ve never once said that i wasn’t naive. But he sure did beat a hell of a lot of odds. A hell of a lot of odds. He didn’t lose. Not really. He fucking won. He won better than any of the rest of us ever could have. And – except for a brief stint during high school when he maybe took advantage of his situation a little bit by being a little demanding of his friends, which honestly was really more comical than tragic – never did he ever display any self-pity. Not a hint. Not once; never. He pretty much acted like anybody else. You hardly ever even remembered that he was even in a wheelchair with a terminal disease and a grim overall prognosis. He just didn’t make you feel aware of it at all. He was one of us, through and through. A brother to the core.

And now he’s gone from our lives forever. But not from our memories.

I don’t believe in life after death. I don’t believe in heaven or hell. But i do believe that the collective memories of those who knew you keep your personality – if not your actual consciousness – as alive as a thing could ever really be. Our personalities, each of us, is made from bits and pieces of others’. We live on, in a way, through other people, even gradually filtering our way down generations and into the ages. Through love, we keep a part of our loved ones with us, in our conscious minds, and pass a little bit down to people who never even knew those who inhabit us.

I’ve found it increasingly hard to say goodbye to the living, and especially, to the dead. But it needs to happen, as it always does. Death is inevitable for us all.

Goodbye, Mark. Godspeed.

“So long, old pal!”

Categories
life work

head ache

Today i went home early for the first time in so long that i forgot how to even do it. Literally. My head hurts. It feels like it’s filling up with hard foam rubber or something. Every time i get a headache, it seems like the focus is always in the same place, just to the right and a little in front of the crown. I’m not sure if that’s common, but if it keeps up i’m going to go and tell on it.

O god how i wish someone could Paypal me some Orudis KT right now.