John McCain announces VP in Dayton

So today at the Wright State University‘s Nutter Center, Republican presidential hopeful John McCain announced his running mate. This, in Dayton, Ohio, the worst, dyingest city on the face of the earth.

His running mate? Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. The one who hates women, the environment, and gay rights (but loves guns and death)? Yes, that one.

So, to recap: he’s chosen Dayton, Ohio – the new Flint, Michigan – to announce his female running mate.

Well played, sir. Well played. The worst thing is that he’s actually got me a little shaken, and i’d bet a lot of other Democrats are similarly rattled. Never mind that we’ll get over it by the end of the weekend and continue to fight, harder than ever, against this debased, America world-hating pair of depraved sickos.

Look, the facts are in. McCain not only admitted on national television that he doesn’t understand economics, but he doesn’t even know how to count (for the record, Mr. McCain, we lost count of your houses too). He believes that you’re still “middle class” until you’ve hit five million dollars. He’s missed many votes while a Senator during his campaign. Numbers is not this guy’s strong suit. And you know what? I want a president who can count. It is certain that the job of President of the United States of America requires this particular skill.

He thinks Iraq is safe now. Uh… yeah. Not really.

Much of his top campaign staff were lobbyists, which kind of defeats the whole reform thing.

Need one more nail? How’s this one… you could pierce hardened steel with it in one lethargic, half-assed whack.

As for Palin… well, she wants kids to be taught that Dinosaurs and Jesus were contemporaries, and she fired a guy because he wouldn’t fire a guy who was divorcing her sister. Alaska was one of the first states in the union to ban same-sex marriage, ten years ago (before her governorship – but she supported it). Her husband works for BP. And she wants Alaska drilled… so… hard. I think these things speak for themselves.

So if you’re on the line about who to vote for, think about these things, then think a little bit more about them. Then do the right thing and vote who you believe has the better chance of not running our nation into the ground with endless, zillion-dollar wars and imprudent corporate kickbacks, who probably won’t be shipping our entire economy, including our very jobs, wholesale, overseas, and who probably has a better-rounded and fresher, more insightful view of the world around him. And who, in merely becoming our next President of the United States of America, will change the world we live in, in meaningful and positive ways.