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people suck

In which the writer does a lot of boring whining about how much people don’t like him, again

Wow. Today i wrote what i thought was a genuinely hilarious comment on Digg (regarding a car made by BMW which has a cloth outer skin instead of metal or fiberglass), and it got buried by a 1 to 8 margin.

This kind of thing happens all the time, and i don’t understand why. It’s frustrating. I’m not looking for validation or anything, i just thought i’d share some laughs, and it just seems weird to me that only one person out of nine would find what i wrote funny. I don’t normally comment on Digg, but i thought of something reasonably clever to say, so i said it. I’m fully aware that i may in fact not be the Incredible Boy Genius i’m always making myself out to be, but seriously, i know funny, and that was good shit.

I know i shouldn’t take it personally. It’s just that this sort of thing happens all the freaking time.

One time, when i worked at Powertel in Florida, i was walking toward a group of co-workers, about six or eight people. I had just been promoted to a sub-supervisory position, and these were my peers in the same position. They were all laughing their asses off. When i got closer and some of them saw me, they all suddenly got super quiet and scattered. I never knew what the hell that was all about.

Things have always been like that for me.

Once when i was very little, a big burly biker friend of my stepmom picked up a kitten that was running around (which i had sort of symbolically claimed somehow), and he threw it at the wall real hard, killing it. He roared, laughing his fat head off. He obviously enjoyed being mean to me. That’s one of many reasons why i hate outlaw bikers to this day.

Online, i’ll post a question or anecdote in some forum, and watch as every single thread gets read and responded to but mine for days on end. Usually, after a couple of weeks trying vainly to bump my topic every couple of days, i’ll just give up.

When i used to deliver pizza, i would always be surprised at how often people tried to pull dirty tricks on me with money. Like they’d try to confuse me by giving me all these bills in different denominations, and want change back in weird ratios: Bill’s paying for Pete, but Pete’s got half and I’m getting a third of the middle pizza – I’m paying for Bill’s half of the top one, but I want my change back in ones so we can split it… but you need to divide that up and give us all the change accordingly first. They’d do it much better than that of course, but it was always really obvious that they were trying to pull one over on me. I would often leave at the end of my shift actually owing money, and that’s after tips were taken out.

Whenever i’m out in public, like at a mall or something, i’ll walk around stupidly, watching concerned mothers suddenly grab their children and bring them in closer under their wing when they see me. Even if i’m not walking toward them, or looking in their direction. The looks on their faces are always the same. Even the kids get it. They all look confused and frightened, as if they’d just been touched somewhere that didn’t feel too good.

I’m awkward and people don’t like me, and that pretty much just sucks.

I guess i just can’t see the giant ‘L’ on my forehead.

By jae

jae lethe (he/she/they) is a blogger, musician, artist, poet, web developer/designer, armchair philosophizer, teller of tales, and gadabout. Also, something he calls a "behavioral artist." (Not sure.) She has plans. BIG plans.

Among the things that he has done for a laugh are minor fractures, cuts, scrapes, and various scabs. Though she's quick to point out that they're no imbecile, we're fairly certain that he thinks the word means some kind of medieval pharmacist.

This is her latest home on teh internets - where jae stores their swear words, when they're not hurling them at the sun in vain.

3 replies on “people suck”

I know what you mean…at least no one’s running screaming from you I guess. There’s something.

I mean, I know HOW to make people like me…I just don’t like doing it. And since I started posting my online comments while promising myself not to recheck the pages for responses, I’ve felt a little better ;)

dear friend, i hope you’ve never felt like you had to resort to anything soul-sucking to make people like you as an artist or as a person. there are so many ways to do soulless things just to sell an image of an artist. in the end, i fear we are at the mercy of the churning sea of random opinion anyway, and can hope only for a rogue wave. keep being you, and the ones whose opinions matter will catch on. and me!

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