been a while, huh?

1) my grandfather is STILL in the nursing home/comeback center. he’s alert and all, but he hasn’t eaten more than a meal or two’s worth of food since December. he’s got a stomach feeder-tube. he’s down to ~144 lbs. every time he sees that pureed crap they bring him, he vomits almost instantly. last night, when i went in to see him, he vomited within a minute of my arrival. from the looks of things, though, he probably hadn’t been around any food for at least a couple hours, however. lacking common sense, he attempted to vomit with his head facing the ceiling. i cursed him, grabbed a trash bin, and made him turn his head as far as he could. i fear. oh yes, honeys, i fear.

2) being burnt out on everything remotely associated with my life, i have stopped visiting him daily and now only see him once or twice or thrice a week. i work 50 hours a week and my commute is an hour round trip. Greene Oaks, where he’s at, is a further half-hour away from my home and my work. add it up. my energy coefficient doesn’t quite equal the amount of effort it takes to keep this all together.

3) finances! Medicare runs out this month, and the family can’t support the level of health care my grandfather is currently getting. turns out, we are far less fortunate than even i had once thought. so we’re going to see if he can take assisted living. right now, he can’t, because he simply needs more 24/7 help. you’d be shitted how [literally] prohibitively expensive health care can be.

4) so i’ve begun spending nearly every penny i make on music gear. i’ve got an electric-acoustic, a bass, and a mic preamp on their way right now. and my eye is on plenty of other stuff, including a Les Paul-style hardtail guitar that i can track rhythm with, without going out of tune (those Floyd Rose tremolos are a blessing and a curse). plus effects out the wazoo, a more (ahem) modern drum sequencer, a large-diaphragm condensor mic, etc..

5) i start a new job at my work today. off the phones, on to email-based customer support. the hours are late, which i don’t care much for.

6) Lisa got a flat-panel for her PC. it’s sweet. i need to get Travis’ PC working soon. hopefully, i’ll have less hours at work soon. next month, if Ralph can get into assisted living, he may be living a bit closer to me. i hope; but i dread also, dearies.

(see the cycle? see how it works/doesn’t work? i am trying so hard not to break.)

7) i am becoming more and more convinced, as the data pours its way like brown, tainted blood into my mind, that the world as we now know it will be ending within ten years.

8) i’ve started stuttering slightly on occasion. and the infrequent dyslexia… i did go to the doctor about my hand, though. baby steps.

9) so much more to talk about, just not enough time in which to do so.

adios!