so. my ex-g/f Ria (who’s in Mali working with the Peace Corps) has malaria. somehow, i knew that would happen. she seems to be better now. i hope so!
and i’ve got “Bob”-knows-what. i am covered with splotches, mostly around my midsection. probably some godforsaken… INSECT… (yes i am prejudiced against them, tho’ i try very hard not to kill any living things ever no matter what) …got into my pants the other day while i was playing with Matty in the backyard. yeah, it’s hilarious. so i jumped into the shower and boiled my skin almost off trying to get the poison out. i don’t know if it worked, because now my whole body below the chest matches that vivid salmon color.
yeah i got a little over the top last night, and so what? i vent. i Write The Worm Out. it’s not how i feel all the time, it’s just what the deepest, darkest recesses of the inside of my head look like under light. the rest of it is actually pretty okay with things. even the things i usually tend to whine about.
and so i keep it, every last word, unedited. i did take the liberty of at least temporarily re-filtering a post of two, however. hey, i’m not THAT stupid.
anyway, if you knew me in real life, you’d know that i’m actually fairly happy (all things considered).
i’m putting the new story on hold for just a little bit. i’ve decided that i MUST write short stories first, to warm up. i haven’t written fiction of any length for about ten years now. it used to be My Thing, too. i don’t know what happened, or where i lost my muse (probably it was replaced by alcoholism; i used to be pretty gone, not at all like now), but i know that i must make a return, and it will be a triumphant one, even if it goes nowhere, because i won’t keep anything that isn’t what i consider good. so, short works it is, for a little while. i will probably relegate the new story to being a short piece also, and possibly go back and flesh it out more at a later date.
anyone wanna play Editor for me? i just need another eye; preferably one that is not actually attached to my own peculiar (not to mention subjective) brain.
i am going to write a few “regular” hard rock songs, just because i haven’t done that in a long, long time. at least, nothing diesel-fuelled. probably not since “monster.” and i wanna rock, goddammit!
i don’t know how in the hell i’m ever going to put together a cohesive album out of all the different genres i always work in. i’ve been avoiding doing so-called “crossover”-type stuff, because it’s really hard to make that work and not seem pretentious or contrived.
and still, i really do need 1) a decent pair of nearfield monitors, 2) a decent condensor mic, and 3) a decent mic pre. i hate to keep hearing muddy, boomy shit. it’s really hard to mix crap into something listenable; you really have to get it sounding good right at the source and do as little as possible to it later.
i’m smoking handrolled cigarettes from now on. that way, i smoke a lot less, out of sheer laziness and the fact that my handrolled smokes suck and taste like hell.
seriously, i don’t mind one bit if you defriend me. i wouldn’t, and couldn’t, blame you for not wanting to see me vomit up my clockwork stageblood all the time. it DOES get annoying. i know.
