so i can’t in good conscience encourage flooding to come down here because 1) she’s broke, 2) she’s got little to no long-distance solo driving experience, and 3) her car is sketchy at best, needs at least one new tire, and she has no tools or spare parts.
as much as i’d love to see my old friend, it just can’t happen until she’s better prepared.
i was totally going to mack on her, too… but that’s not a great idea at this point. heh. i don’t want to now anyway (for obvious reasons), so that’s ai’ight.
i do wish we could hang out and i could show her Yellow Springs, but not if it’s just a bad idea all the way round. foo!
i just wish that i hadn’t gotten all excited about the prospects of seeing my old friend. i hadn’t properly considered practical logistics. and i swear i had no idea how broke she was until just recently.
i just sent her an email telling her to save her money for tools and spare parts, and to go to Texas instead, where she will no doubt have a far better time anyway… i’m not worth coming to Ohio for, but down in Texas there is somebody who is worth a long drive for. for her anyway. am a little sad, but such is life.
and it wasn’t great timing on my part anyway… there’s going to be my uncle in town in a couple of weeks, and also my grandfather’s friend Mary around the same time. and i gotta have time for Paxity, too, at some point.
i definitely feel like i’ve been/am being selfish. i mean, wanting her to spend all her time and money just to come here and see stupid old me. and also because it must really look like i’m blowing her off to be with Pax, even though we already had plans before she came along. what else can i say or do, though? i mean, in good conscience? but for whatever reasons, good or bad, that Lisa will think i have, and whatever reasons i may actually have in fact, conscious or subconscious, the bottom line is no.
and Matty, the puppydog, is velcro on me. she’s my grandfather’s puppydog. so i have to shut her out, too. which ALSO breaks my heart.
my whole life has just been one caustic irony after another. i guess that’s what i get for signing a deal with a treacherous, no-good bastard like Cthulhu.
so that’s that. i’m off to go scour through yet another sundayful of terrible Daytonian classified ads.
