at one time, not so long ago, i was going to write a book where every single character dies, and on dying, said or did something really funny or ironic.
“Oh dear,” said Jack the Barber from his crumpled Jeep Cherokee. “Well… I think I’m going to just lie here and bleed a bit, and maybe sleep.”
Ronnette suddenly grew fresh-faced. “Kelsey, there really is an afterlife! But it’s for fish!” she said, and then went limp.
“Look on the bright side, Helen. No one else can say they had a view like this,” said Reg, as the plane hit the water.
“Watch this!” exclaimed Jeremy, right before hydroplaning off the cliff at 80 miles per hour. “Uh, wait… well, this is pretty good too, i suppose.”
i just hope to hell that when my time comes, i’ll have a great line (and the capacity to deliver it).
