wish i had my license. i should be in Columbus or something, celebrating life, instead of hanging around this old house, praying for death.
i can’t stand all this waiting around for my life to start. i want to get things done, dammit.
i want to see my friend Star so we can comfort each other and make the whole world all bright and new and fresh and, er, all that gooey crap.
i probably fucked that up though. i can’t just be happy, i have to come up with a millions reasons why i don’t deserve it, or why it probably won’t work out.
no alcohol this weekend. i could sure as hell use a beer or five, though. crap.
i felt this today: my mind was like a planet a thousand cities deep… every building an idea… most of them built by others and maybe just decorated by me. i’m not even sure if any of them were mine at all, but i’m pretty sure i have collaborated a bit with the original architects here and there.
i wish i was smart. i feel like Charly sometimes. i never do the bogglers in the back of Discover. i used to do that stuff all the time, back in the day. these days, i just don’t want to think like that anymore. i’d so much rather dream life than engineer it.
my old pal Tony, my only close friend in the world, called last week. i returned the call and tag ended there. yesterday i got an email, so i replied. still nothing. damn i wish there was something to do.
i need to see my friend Cassandra, too. it’s been about a year now. we used to be super tight. i don’t know what to do though. i don’t know what to do.
god, someone get me out of this hell!!
