hmm. sigh.
i see stuff like this and at first i wish there were more clarity as always (how vain of me!) (and like that’s ever going to happen anyway!), but then in a second (a flash, really), i realize that it has nothing at all to do with me; i was only a brief summer fling after all. and i know from her deeds that she couldn’t have cared very much. not that much anyway.
i dunno. i just don’t know.
and i wish.
i wish that someone would… feel something like that, that heartfoolishly serious, for me. why do all the deserving saps like me get the shaft all of the time?
+ why can’t i just let go, just fall away from the cliff and learn to fly the hard way? damn me & my stupidity + othersuch foolishness. i will perform a paganistic ritual soon (on the next full moon) to rid me of this bad habit of hanging on to hopeless hope like a dopeless dope. i let on like i get on but i haven’t yet done.
tomorrow, no more whining. some ass needs to be kicked, and i know just the boot (mine), and just the ass (mine as well).
