i distributed gifts today to my closest friends. 2 CDs (my own “i am…” EPs, which i introduced as “barely worth opening, really”) to Fred & Lisa, 2 CDs (same, same intro) to Greg & Maggie (who gave me a schwank U2 calendar and a single-volume (?!!) edition of C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia), 3 nutty books for Tony’s daughter Abigail Willow (5yo) (optical illusions, native american poems, and “The Worst Band in the World,” repleat with CD), and Stardust and Sandman: Fables and Reflections for Tony. i already gave Cat the Beatles 1 and the new Pink Floyd Echoes comp, and Seth got Death: the Time of Your Life i also gave my grandpa an electric wok, and my dad gets a 5″ TV, while his sugarmomma gets a vest. my uncle kent got an Amazon.com gift certificate, and Travis & Eirit got one, too. Erica, Ria, Melissa, Pawrl and Jason each got my newest CD in the mail (i hope!).
and now, i’m broke as a broke-dick dog. my car insurance will be due in a few days, too. oh well. fuck ’em. i got what i wanted. i spread a little cheer, if not much. so i feel worn out, but happy. kind of like a well-tipped whore, except i no money. ah, fuck it.
and this, the holiday i most love to hate. BAH! HUMBUG! i delivered everything today so nobody would have time to get me anything in return. Bah! Humbug! i don’t need this! x-mas is so rotten, but at least i get to feel good about getting my friends stuff. but i can still loathe it. i can’t wait until this x-mas is long over. in fact, fuck new year’s too. i never get to go out. nobody ever invites me anywhere. i never get properly drunk. well, not in the company of others. fuck holidays.
i feel sick.
