so yesterday i had a great chat with my special new friend Malinda. i think it was something like 5 hours long or more… really fulfilling, though. i haven’t IM’d for that long in a while.
and, as it turns out, while i was whiling the night away with a certified genius, my old pal/absent lover Cassandra* was trying to get hold of me. she sent me an e-mail complaining about her fiancee, and 4 drunken voicemails (oh, fer chrissake… i do not need this). she was blaring Tears for Fears (Songs from the Big Chair) (an album she knows well that i’ve been listening to a lot lately) and talking about how she was thinking of me. four long, drunken voicemails of this. the kind where the person puts the phone up to the speaker and lets the song do all the work. you know? intense.
a few weeks ago, i went over to their apartment. her and i went out and had a few drinks. she commenced to flirting with me, even grabbed my ass. i hoped that it would just sort of chill out when Seth got home, but not really. she started playing with my hair right in front of him and his friend. i got pretty spooked about it, not wanting any trouble and all, and proceeded to bolt soonly.
*background on my relationship with Cat: we’ve known each other since we were little kids, and started actively hanging out in high school (i was a senior when she was a freshman). somewhere along the line we developed a unique (and frustrating) sexual tension. we never more than kissed, and that only once. just before i moved to florida (8 years ago), she was staying at my grandparents house in my room with me for a few days and she came on to me at least twice in those few days (once concerning showering and once re: sleeping arrangements). then after i moved, we didn’t see each other for a couple of years. when i saw her in May of ’95, we had a hug where she nervously said out loud (as if talking to herself), “I’ll kiss you tomorrow…” but we never did. so that’s what we’re like. destined to never actually hook up. and yet, now she’s starting this up again, and i really like her boyfriend Seth, he’s a great guy. but damn… y’know, i’ve loved her since we were teenagers, and when i finally broke down a couple of months ago and called her parents to find her, i was really ready to do something rash: if she wasn’t already involved, i was seriously considering asking her to marry me. and i am NOT the marrying type, neither.
oh, i really don’t need this. will i be evil? will i be good? who can tell, who can tell….
