okay, here’s the latest:

my grandmother’s birthday today. she would have been 84. brought flowers and balloons to her grave. the initial flowers that were put there when we buried her, a week and a half ago, were dead or dying. the mylar balloon i gave her when we threw her an early birthday party two weeks ago has now settled almost to the floor. we miss her dearly.

i’ve been IMing (i hate IM) with a friend i met online a year ago. she’s really cool. she’s only 19, though, but she’s really nice (we both love Beatles (for her it’s more of a Lennon thing, though), Buddha, and the majesty and wonder of the Cosmos). i found out she’s a bit wilder than i thought. we haven’t talked for a while, except in scattered e-mails (i hate IM), but i’m having fun talking to her again. she’s in China now. i wish i knew her IRL because she’s just a really cool chick (and really purty, too!).

my good friends F & L are splitting up after 8 years of marriage. it’s heartbreaking. she’s setting herself up for major emotional disaster, though. i worry. they both should get (separate) counselling/therapy/yoga.

i went out with my buddy Cassandra again today. i really like her. i’ve already mentioned that. i love her deeply. but, i’m actually not the slightest bit jealous of her fiancee, which is new for me! i only want her to be happy, and she is. he’s a really cool guy, and i’ve so glad that she’s finally found a Good Guy to be with. still: here i am, pining for her. i want to tell her these things, but i am afraid of the consequences. i don’t want to fuck anything up. i’m pretty sure that she wouldn’t just up and go for me, but just in case. i do feel that i need to get it off my chest, though.

Damn, why am i always Ducky from Pretty in Pink?