Category: creative

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music

understandable rough working mix

here’s a song i’m working on right now; i think i’ve got a good one — just need to figure out a way to keep this godforsaken funeral dirge interesting through 5+ minutes

(warning: keep away from sharp objects)

transmothra · understandable (early mix)

Lyrics:

Sometimes it’s so unbearable to be me
I just can’t do anything anymore
For everything I’ve ever said and done
I have a regret that cuts me to the core

It’s my own fault my life is misery
Maybe i was born on my deathbed
I told an old friend I wanted to end it all
I’ll never forget what he said

“Understandable”

Nobody ever wants me around anymore
It’s been years since i’ve had any friends
I don’t wanna go out anyway
I just want all this to end

I think i might be the worst person ever
I just feel like such a fool
And i know there are so many reasons
Why you’d be so cruel

That’s understandable

This all started the day i was born
And love was only ever tough
It seems like it’s only gotten worse
I’ve been working on myself, but it’s never enough

My own worst critic is having company over
I’m just so glad that everybody agrees
My feelings are valid
Yeah they make a lot of sense

That’s understandable.

Categories
creative music

treachery 2.0

TM Sun Reaper splash screen image

Sometime around ~1991 i made this song:

I got a wild hair up my ass and am re-recording it now. It’s something i half-heartedly started working on many years ago, but didn’t really feel that version was quite up to snuff. Here’s what the new version is starting to sound like:

I’ve still got some work to do (adding guitars and sound effects, for example), but i like where it’s going so far.

Edit 25 February 2025: added a guitar part & did some stuff. Still working on it!

Oh i also made this cool splash screen image for Reaper too.

Categories
music

don’t mind me

i’m having a slight meltdown lately. i’ve been working on music fairly intensely and starting to let the new things outside where people can hear it, and from there to potentially push it down into the mud and throw things at it while pointing and laughing at it, and i’m starting to really fear it’s truly all just the shittiest music ever created (or close enough to it), and i’m coming very near to the realization that the one thing i’ve lived for my whole life — creating music — has actually only ever been upsettingly awful in its totality.

And so what then? What’s left after that? It’ll have all been for naught, and the future will be bleaker and so much worse than i ever could have imagined. The best case scenario, i worry, is that i’ll be responsible for putting people in the awkward position of having to say something polite about something they surely found to be the most cringeworthy thing they’d encountered in a while. So i’ve actually been considering scrapping it all, deleting the files, selling all my gear, and just forgetting about music to the point of never even listening to any of it anymore.

Nobody will ever read this, but on the weird chance that somebody ever does, all the evidence is right here, so they can see it for themselves. It’s all just so unbearably embarrassing. I wish i could just die and get it over with.

Categories
creative music songs

new song: “no more”

Categories
creative music songs

Running Up That Hill (Kate Bush cover)

Still working on this. I have a few more tracks to record, some mix moves to make, etc. But it’s shaping up so here’s what it sounds like right now

Categories
creative music

song snippet

just a snippet from a cover song i’m working on….

Categories
music

finally, some new songs are starting to emerge

A couple of sketches of works-in-progress. I’m always accidentally working in either a fucked-up time signature or a fucked-up key; here it’s the latter for both of these tunes. The first is practically fucking chromatic, while the second is diminished. What the hell is wrong with me.

transmothra · sketch #8

This one is at a very, very early stage.

transmothra · sketch #9
Categories
creative internets web design

random background colors experiment

random bg php/css experiment screenshot

A while back i made a random background color generator. What was cool about that was it took a random color (actually, three) and determined whether it was generally visually dark or light, then used that determination to color the text accordingly light or dark gray for contrast.

So today, after not really working with PHP (or much code at all) for several years, i decided to revisit my experiment. Instead of either light or dark gray, i wanted to take the random colors i generated and lighten or darken them up, so they’re the same hue, just darker or lighter depending on the value of the generated color. The contrast is a lot more subtle, however. Maybe next i’ll see if i can add a contrast switcher to it.

Here’s that experiment.

Here’s the source code in either pretty HTML or plain text format.

Categories
music

like we are, mix #12

It just occurred to me that the latest version of my song “like we are” hasn’t yet been posted here of all places. So here’s the last working mix i was trying out. It’s still a work in progress. My main recording rig has been busted for a long while, so it’s been a year since i’ve done any work on it.

It’s A Big Deal for me because i wrote this song about twenty-five years ago (!!) but never really got to record it properly. IMHO, it’s my finest song, and for a long, long time it was kind of a personal travesty that i didn’t have it recorded.

I still have to add a guitar solo to it and do some more tweaking.

Categories
music

Rough, working mix of a recording still in progress. This…

Rough, working mix of a recording still in progress. This version scales back the bass with compression, fixes some vocal sibilance, and uses some slightly different EQing and reverb on the drums.

I’m not sure how this mix sounds on various systems, so i’d love some feedback re: balancing elements, stereo panning, EQ, etc. (and yes, i do know the singer is shitty, but he’s all i’ve got to work with).

Lyrics:

wait until now to say the things you thought of
say it unto me the way you think you practised it
say to me love that you never thought you would ever be
so full of doubt, the way i think it ought to be

my love, is it so clear?
that you would pick this instance out of the jar?
and what you hold dear
will come around like we are

today is the day we would have celebrated
three years of hate, candles dripping quietly
forever the beast, within you i desecrated
& unleash this feast, for we will forever be

at night, can you still breathe?
your heavy vapors they flood me incessantly
karma, like a vamp,
will come around like we are

it don’t want to leave, my love
it don’t want to ease my hate
it don’t like to feed on me
but it’s gotta shit something…

tell me you fear the day we call an end to it
tell me you want more of my bullshit
say you can’t wait (until) the day we finally call it quits
baby, i need you just to lie a little bit

my love, is it so clear?
that we would pick this moment out of the jar?
and what do you fear?
that we’ll come around like we are…?

Categories
creative Vaping

Wismec Reuleaux RX200 Batman-themed custom firmware: “Shadow of the Bat”

NOTE: these external links no longer work; the only good vape firmware i know of is here.

Photograph of two screens from my Batman theme for the Wismec Reuleaux RX200 vaporizer
Two of the screens from my Batman theme for the Wismec Reuleaux RX200 vaporizer

The Wismec Reuleax RX200 is a marvel of vaping technology. One of the coolest things about it is that you can alter the firmware easily. There’s even a couple of sites which archive some cool themes you can download. I’ve got a Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy-themed “Don’t Panic” one out there on customvapefirmware.com. That site hasn’t been updated in several days now, and i’ve tried submitting my latest Batman theme to it twice without seeing it show up, so i thought i’d make it available here. The firmware version is 3.10. Here’s the file. (The screenshot above doesn’t do it justice. Strangely, it doesn’t look nearly as pixellated in real life as it appears here.) Enjoy!

photo of RX200 Batman theme on device screen

p.s., if you like it, please consider helping me out, as i’m in a bit of a financial bind right now.

Categories
music

(Sean Woosley)

(Sean Woosley)

Categories
music

Prince Rogers Nelson, 7 June 1958 – 21 April 2016

Prince Rogers Nelson, 7 June 1958 – 21 April 2016

Today the world lost Prince, a true (and quite uncommon) musical genius, and I am shocked and devastated. Prince’s artistic courage, his integrity, his fucking ALIEN skill on every instrument he ever looked at, his undeniably ultimate mastery of funk and every other genre he ever bent/combined/invented… these things are permanent, unforgettable, and quite possibly unsurpassable forever. He was…

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Categories
memories music

Prince Rogers Nelson, 7 June 1958 – 21 April 2016

Prince on stage

Today the world lost Prince, a true (and quite uncommon) musical genius, and I am shocked and devastated.

Prince’s artistic courage, his integrity, his fucking ALIEN skill on every instrument he ever looked at, his undeniably ultimate mastery of funk and every other genre he ever bent/combined/invented… these things are permanent, unforgettable, and quite possibly unsurpassable forever. He was the very pinnacle of musical achievement. Nobody who has ever listened to him play any instrument in any style could ever deny that he was literally The Best at it.

As a musician and songwriter who plays a variety of rock instruments in a variety of genres, his importance to me personally cannot be overstated. People like him, Stevie Wonder, and Todd Rundgren convinced me that it is totally possible for one person to play every instrument and make music of any style one might fancy undertaking. As a hero, he will always be the single most UNDER-rated musician I could ever name, no matter how legendary his status may grow. Prince was the True DIY King.

Go back and listen closely to his early records today. Then continue until his most recent work. You will find a thick thread of pure, unadulterated GENIUS.

You could do that, too, you know. Oh, none of us will ever be nearly as good – that’s just reality. But *practise* and *imagine* and *put it down* (DO IT!) on record, and keep on doing it. We can all create anything we can envision in our heads if we only try.

Categories
music

“like we are” working mix

“like we are” working mix

Rough, working mix of a recording still in progress. I’m not sure how this mix sounds on various systems, so i’d love some feedback re: balancing elements, stereo panning, EQ, etc. (and…

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Categories
music

“like we are” working mix

[soundcloud url=”https://api.soundcloud.com/tracks/257580417″ params=”auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true” width=”100%” height=”450″ iframe=”true” /]

Rough, working mix of a recording still in progress.

I’m not sure how this mix sounds on various systems, so i’d love some feedback re: balancing elements, stereo panning, EQ, etc. (and yes, i do know the singer is shitty, but he’s all i’ve got to work with).

Here are the lyrics.

Categories
music

Rough, working mix of a recording still in progress. I’m…

Rough, working mix of a recording still in progress. I’m inching ever closer to a final arrangement. However, i’m not sure how this mix sounds on various systems, so i’d love some feedback re: balancing elements, stereo panning, EQ, etc. (and yes, i do know the singer is shitty, but he’s all i’ve got to work with).

Categories
music

now on Bandcamp

Even if you don’t buy this (dirt cheap at $anything for 17 tracks), if you like it even a little, please share it. I’m trying to finance putting together a better record of new music, but i’ll need some help to do it. Thanks!

[bandcamp width=350 height=470 album=2323311396 size=large bgcol=333333 linkcol=e32c14 tracklist=false]

Categories
creative

New fiction

I just posted my latest work of fiction, the first one in a while. It’s called Ripped to Pieces by a Mob of Adoring Fans, and it’s a story i wrote last year to submit to the second Machine of Death anthology, edited by Ryan North, Matthew Bennardo, and David Malki !, (the first one is excellent, and is available here).

Machine of Death stories all have one thing in common: they tell of people who know the means of their demise, thanks to a wonderful, horrible invention of the possibly-near future.

Anyway, i wrote it super quickly in about two or three hours, and submitted it with minutes to go by the end of the deadline for submissions. It is not too good, but it’s about the only fiction i’ve written in a while, so i posted it here.

They say “write what you know,” so i wrote about underemployment and music. And, naturally, death. But really it’s about selling out, and fame, and self-sabotage, and the creative motivation. Above all, though, it’s murky, hard to read, self-indulgent, and disappointingly uninteresting.

Ripped to Pieces by a Mob of Adoring Fans

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creative uncategorized

I Am Not Kurt Vonnegut But Sometimes I Pretend To Be, or, This Is The Entire Thing So Enjoy It

I’m writing a book about a civilization so advanced that they no longer have disputes. However, they’ve also realized the need for warfare and now get to it every dozen or so years, for no other reason than that it’s jolly good exercise and allows for technological progress.

In the end, they realize that all of their scientific passions were in pursuit of destruction & devastation and the eradication of life, just seconds before blowing up the entire universe.

It’s going to be called either Oblivion Operations Protocol System or Automotivated Warfare: Syndicated Hostility Initiative Tokenization, with the title written out so you see the hidden message that reveals humanity’s final observation.